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The
Innocence of Father Brown
G.
K. Chesterton
1911 by Cassell, London, UK.
This
work is published for the greater Glory of Jesus Christ through His
most Holy Mother Mary and for the sanctification of the militant
Church and her members.
PUBLISHER
www.eCatholic2000.com
INDEX
TABLE
OF CONTENTS
THE
INNOCENCE OF FATHER BROWN
ILLUSTRATIONS
PUBLISHER
II
THE INNOCENCE OF FATHER BROWN
The Blue Cross
Between the silver ribbon of morning and
the green glittering ribbon of sea, the boat touched Harwich and let
loose a swarm of folk like flies, among whom the man we must follow
was by no means conspicuous—nor wished to be. There was nothing
notable about him, except a slight contrast between the holiday
gaiety of his clothes and the official gravity of his face. His
clothes included a slight, pale grey jacket, a white waistcoat, and a
silver straw hat with a grey-blue ribbon. His lean face was dark by
contrast, and ended in a curt black beard that looked Spanish and
suggested an Elizabethan ruff. He was smoking a cigarette with the
seriousness of an idler. There was nothing about him to indicate the
fact that the grey jacket covered a loaded revolver, that the white
waistcoat covered a police card, or that the straw hat covered one of
the most powerful intellects in Europe. For this was Valentin
himself, the head of the Paris police and the most famous
investigator of the world; and he was coming from Brussels to London
to make the greatest arrest of the century.
Flambeau was in England. The police of
three countries had tracked the great criminal at last from Ghent to
Brussels, from Brussels to the Hook of Holland; and it was
conjectured that he would take some advantage of the unfamiliarity
and confusion of the Eucharistic Congress, then taking place in
London. Probably he would travel as some minor clerk or secretary
connected with it; but, of course, Valentin could not be certain;
nobody could be certain about Flambeau.
It is many years now since this colossus
of crime suddenly ceased keeping the world in a turmoil; and when he
ceased, as they said after the death of Roland, there was a great
quiet upon the earth. But in his best days (I mean, of course, his
worst) Flambeau was a figure as statuesque and international as the
Kaiser. Almost every morning the daily paper announced that he had
escaped the consequences of one extraordinary crime by committing
another. He was a Gascon of gigantic stature and bodily daring; and
the wildest tales were told of his outbursts of athletic humour; how
he turned the juge d’instruction upside down and stood him on
his head, “to clear his mind”; how he ran down the Rue de
Rivoli with a policeman under each arm. It is due to him to say that
his fantastic physical strength was generally employed in such
bloodless though undignified scenes; his real crimes were chiefly
those of ingenious and wholesale robbery. But each of his thefts was
almost a new sin, and would make a story by itself. It was he who ran
the great Tyrolean Dairy Company in London, with no dairies, no cows,
no carts, no milk, but with some thousand subscribers. These he
served by the simple operation of moving the little milk cans outside
people’s doors to the doors of his own customers. It was he who
had kept up an unaccountable and close correspondence with a young
lady whose whole letter-bag was intercepted, by the extraordinary
trick of photographing his messages infinitesimally small upon the
slides of a microscope. A sweeping simplicity, however, marked many
of his experiments. It is said that he once repainted all the numbers
in a street in the dead of night merely to divert one traveller into
a trap. It is quite certain that he invented a portable pillar-box,
which he put up at corners in quiet suburbs on the chance of
strangers dropping postal orders into it. Lastly, he was known to be
a startling acrobat; despite his huge figure, he could leap like a
grasshopper and melt into the tree-tops like a monkey. Hence the
great Valentin, when he set out to find Flambeau, was perfectly aware
that his adventures would not end when he had found him.
But how was he to find him? On this the
great Valentin’s ideas were still in process of settlement.
There was one thing which Flambeau, with
all his dexterity of disguise, could not cover, and that was his
singular height. If Valentin’s quick eye had caught a tall
apple-woman, a tall grenadier, or even a tolerably tall duchess, he
might have arrested them on the spot. But all along his train there
was nobody that could be a disguised Flambeau, any more than a cat
could be a disguised giraffe. About the people on the boat he had
already satisfied himself; and the people picked up at Harwich or on
the journey limited themselves with certainty to six. There was a
short railway official travelling up to the terminus, three fairly
short market gardeners picked up two stations afterwards, one very
short widow lady going up from a small Essex town, and a very short
Roman Catholic priest going up from a small Essex village. When it
came to the last case, Valentin gave it up and almost laughed. The
little priest was so much the essence of those Eastern flats; he had
a face as round and dull as a Norfolk dumpling; he had eyes as empty
as the North Sea; he had several brown paper parcels, which he was
quite incapable of collecting. The Eucharistic Congress had doubtless
sucked out of their local stagnation many such creatures, blind and
helpless, like moles disinterred. Valentin was a sceptic in the
severe style of France, and could have no love for priests. But he
could have pity for them, and this one might have provoked pity in
anybody. He had a large, shabby umbrella, which constantly fell on
the floor. He did not seem to know which was the right end of his
return ticket. He explained with a moon-calf simplicity to everybody
in the carriage that he had to be careful, because he had something
made of real silver “with blue stones” in one of his
brown-paper parcels. His quaint blending of Essex flatness with
saintly simplicity continuously amused the Frenchman till the priest
arrived (somehow) at Tottenham with all his parcels, and came back
for his umbrella. When he did the last, Valentin even had the good
nature to warn him not to take care of the silver by telling
everybody about it. But to whomever he talked, Valentin kept his eye
open for someone else; he looked out steadily for anyone, rich or
poor, male or female, who was well up to six feet; for Flambeau was
four inches above it.
He alighted at Liverpool Street,
however, quite conscientiously secure that he had not missed the
criminal so far. He then went to Scotland Yard to regularise his
position and arrange for help in case of need; he then lit another
cigarette and went for a long stroll in the streets of London. As he
was walking in the streets and squares beyond Victoria, he paused
suddenly and stood. It was a quaint, quiet square, very typical of
London, full of an accidental stillness. The tall, flat houses round
looked at once prosperous and uninhabited; the square of shrubbery in
the centre looked as deserted as a green Pacific islet. One of the
four sides was much higher than the rest, like a dais; and the line
of this side was broken by one of London’s admirable
accidents—a restaurant that looked as if it had strayed from
Soho. It was an unreasonably attractive object, with dwarf plants in
pots and long, striped blinds of lemon yellow and white. It stood
specially high above the street, and in the usual patchwork way of
London, a flight of steps from the street ran up to meet the front
door almost as a fire-escape might run up to a first-floor window.
Valentin stood and smoked in front of the yellow-white blinds and
considered them long.
The most incredible thing about miracles
is that they happen. A few clouds in heaven do come together into the
staring shape of one human eye. A tree does stand up in the landscape
of a doubtful journey in the exact and elaborate shape of a note of
interrogation. I have seen both these things myself within the last
few days. Nelson does die in the instant of victory; and a man named
Williams does quite accidentally murder a man named Williamson; it
sounds like a sort of infanticide. In short, there is in life an
element of elfin coincidence which people reckoning on the prosaic
may perpetually miss. As it has been well expressed in the paradox of
Poe, wisdom should reckon on the unforeseen.
Aristide Valentin was unfathomably
French; and the French intelligence is intelligence specially and
solely. He was not “a thinking machine”; for that is a
brainless phrase of modern fatalism and materialism. A machine only
is a machine because it cannot think. But he was a thinking man, and
a plain man at the same time. All his wonderful successes, that
looked like conjuring, had been gained by plodding logic, by clear
and commonplace French thought. The French electrify the world not by
starting any paradox, they electrify it by carrying out a truism.
They carry a truism so far—as in the French Revolution. But
exactly because Valentin understood reason, he understood the limits
of reason. Only a man who knows nothing of motors talks of motoring
without petrol; only a man who knows nothing of reason talks of
reasoning without strong, undisputed first principles. Here he had no
strong first principles. Flambeau had been missed at Harwich; and if
he was in London at all, he might be anything from a tall tramp on
Wimbledon Common to a tall toast-master at the Hotel Metropole. In
such a naked state of nescience, Valentin had a view and a method of
his own.
In such cases he reckoned on the
unforeseen. In such cases, when he could not follow the train of the
reasonable, he coldly and carefully followed the train of the
unreasonable. Instead of going to the right places—banks,
police stations, rendezvous—he systematically went to the wrong
places; knocked at every empty house, turned down every cul de sac,
went up every lane blocked with rubbish, went round every crescent
that led him uselessly out of the way. He defended this crazy course
quite logically. He said that if one had a clue this was the worst
way; but if one had no clue at all it was the best, because there was
just the chance that any oddity that caught the eye of the pursuer
might be the same that had caught the eye of the pursued. Somewhere a
man must begin, and it had better be just where another man might
stop. Something about that flight of steps up to the shop, something
about the quietude and quaintness of the restaurant, roused all the
detective’s rare romantic fancy and made him resolve to strike
at random. He went up the steps, and sitting down at a table by the
window, asked for a cup of black coffee.
It was half-way through the morning, and
he had not breakfasted; the slight litter of other breakfasts stood
about on the table to remind him of his hunger; and adding a poached
egg to his order, he proceeded musingly to shake some white sugar
into his coffee, thinking all the time about Flambeau. He remembered
how Flambeau had escaped, once by a pair of nail scissors, and once
by a house on fire; once by having to pay for an unstamped letter,
and once by getting people to look through a telescope at a comet
that might destroy the world. He thought his detective brain as good
as the criminal’s, which was true. But he fully realised the
disadvantage. “The criminal is the creative artist; the
detective only the critic,” he said with a sour smile, and
lifted his coffee cup to his lips slowly, and put it down very
quickly. He had put salt in it.
He looked at the vessel from which the
silvery powder had come; it was certainly a sugar-basin; as
unmistakably meant for sugar as a champagne-bottle for champagne. He
wondered why they should keep salt in it. He looked to see if there
were any more orthodox vessels. Yes; there were two salt-cellars
quite full. Perhaps there was some speciality in the condiment in the
salt-cellars. He tasted it; it was sugar. Then he looked round at the
restaurant with a refreshed air of interest, to see if there were any
other traces of that singular artistic taste which puts the sugar in
the salt-cellars and the salt in the sugar-basin. Except for an odd
splash of some dark fluid on one of the white-papered walls, the
whole place appeared neat, cheerful and ordinary. He rang the bell
for the waiter.
When that official hurried up,
fuzzy-haired and somewhat blear-eyed at that early hour, the
detective (who was not without an appreciation of the simpler forms
of humour) asked him to taste the sugar and see if it was up to the
high reputation of the hotel. The result was that the waiter yawned
suddenly and woke up.
“Do you play
this delicate joke on your customers every morning?” inquired
Valentin. “Does changing the salt and sugar never pall on you
as a jest?”
The waiter, when this irony grew
clearer, stammeringly assured him that the establishment had
certainly no such intention; it must be a most curious mistake. He
picked up the sugar-basin and looked at it; he picked up the
salt-cellar and looked at that, his face growing more and more
bewildered. At last he abruptly excused himself, and hurrying away,
returned in a few seconds with the proprietor. The proprietor also
examined the sugar-basin and then the salt-cellar; the proprietor
also looked bewildered.
Suddenly the waiter seemed to grow
inarticulate with a rush of words.
“I zink,”
he stuttered eagerly, “I zink it is those two clergy-men.”
“What two
clergymen?”
“The two
clergymen,” said the waiter, “that threw soup at the
wall.”
“Threw soup at
the wall?” repeated Valentin, feeling sure this must be some
singular Italian metaphor.
“Yes, yes,”
said the attendant excitedly, and pointed at the dark splash on the
white paper; “threw it over there on the wall.”
Valentin looked his query at the
proprietor, who came to his rescue with fuller reports.
“Yes, sir,”
he said, “it’s quite true, though I don’t suppose
it has anything to do with the sugar and salt. Two clergymen came in
and drank soup here very early, as soon as the shutters were taken
down. They were both very quiet, respectable people; one of them paid
the bill and went out; the other, who seemed a slower coach
altogether, was some minutes longer getting his things together. But
he went at last. Only, the instant before he stepped into the street
he deliberately picked up his cup, which he had only half emptied,
and threw the soup slap on the wall. I was in the back room myself,
and so was the waiter; so I could only rush out in time to find the
wall splashed and the shop empty. It don’t do any particular
damage, but it was confounded cheek; and I tried to catch the men in
the street. They were too far off though; I only noticed they went
round the next corner into Carstairs Street.”
The detective was on his feet, hat
settled and stick in hand. He had already decided that in the
universal darkness of his mind he could only follow the first odd
finger that pointed; and this finger was odd enough. Paying his bill
and clashing the glass doors behind him, he was soon swinging round
into the other street.
It was fortunate that even in such
fevered moments his eye was cool and quick. Something in a shop-front
went by him like a mere flash; yet he went back to look at it. The
shop was a popular greengrocer and fruiterer’s, an array of
goods set out in the open air and plainly ticketed with their names
and prices. In the two most prominent compartments were two heaps, of
oranges and of nuts respectively. On the heap of nuts lay a scrap of
cardboard, on which was written in bold, blue chalk, “Best
tangerine oranges, two a penny.” On the oranges was the equally
clear and exact description, “Finest Brazil nuts, 4d. a lb.”
M. Valentin looked at these two placards and fancied he had met this
highly subtle form of humour before, and that somewhat recently. He
drew the attention of the red-faced fruiterer, who was looking rather
sullenly up and down the street, to this inaccuracy in his
advertisements. The fruiterer said nothing, but sharply put each card
into its proper place. The detective, leaning elegantly on his
walking-cane, continued to scrutinise the shop. At last he said,
“Pray excuse my apparent irrelevance, my good sir, but I should
like to ask you a question in experimental psychology and the
association of ideas.”
The red-faced shopman regarded him with
an eye of menace; but he continued gaily, swinging his cane, “Why,”
he pursued, “why are two tickets wrongly placed in a
greengrocer’s shop like a shovel hat that has come to London
for a holiday? Or, in case I do not make myself clear, what is the
mystical association which connects the idea of nuts marked as
oranges with the idea of two clergymen, one tall and the other
short?”
The eyes of the tradesman stood out of
his head like a snail’s; he really seemed for an instant likely
to fling himself upon the stranger. At last he stammered angrily: “I
don’t know what you ‘ave to do with it, but if you’re
one of their friends, you can tell ’em from me that I’ll
knock their silly ‘eads off, parsons or no parsons, if they
upset my apples again.”
“Indeed?”
asked the detective, with great sympathy. “Did they upset your
apples?”
“One of ’em
did,” said the heated shopman; “rolled ’em all over
the street. I’d ‘ave caught the fool but for havin’
to pick ’em up.”
“Which way did
these parsons go?” asked Valentin.
“Up that second
road on the left-hand side, and then across the square,” said
the other promptly.
“Thanks,”
replied Valentin, and vanished like a fairy. On the other side of the
second square he found a policeman, and said: “This is urgent,
constable; have you seen two clergymen in shovel hats?”
The policeman began to chuckle heavily.
“I ‘ave, sir; and if you arst me, one of ’em was
drunk. He stood in the middle of the road that bewildered that—”
“Which way did
they go?” snapped Valentin.
“They took one
of them yellow buses over there,” answered the man; “them
that go to Hampstead.”
Valentin produced his official card and
said very rapidly: “Call up two of your men to come with me in
pursuit,” and crossed the road with such contagious energy that
the ponderous policeman was moved to almost agile obedience. In a
minute and a half the French detective was joined on the opposite
pavement by an inspector and a man in plain clothes.
“Well, sir,”
began the former, with smiling importance, “and what may—?”
Valentin pointed suddenly with his cane.
“I’ll tell you on the top of that omnibus,” he
said, and was darting and dodging across the tangle of the traffic.
When all three sank panting on the top seats of the yellow vehicle,
the inspector said: “We could go four times as quick in a
taxi.”
“Quite true,”
replied their leader placidly, “if we only had an idea of where
we were going.”
“Well, where
are you going?” asked the other, staring.
Valentin smoked frowningly for a few
seconds; then, removing his cigarette, he said: “If you know
what a man’s doing, get in front of him; but if you want to
guess what he’s doing, keep behind him. Stray when he strays;
stop when he stops; travel as slowly as he. Then you may see what he
saw and may act as he acted. All we can do is to keep our eyes
skinned for a queer thing.”
“What sort of
queer thing do you mean?” asked the inspector.
“Any sort of
queer thing,” answered Valentin, and relapsed into obstinate
silence.
The yellow omnibus crawled up the
northern roads for what seemed like hours on end; the great detective
would not explain further, and perhaps his assistants felt a silent
and growing doubt of his errand. Perhaps, also, they felt a silent
and growing desire for lunch, for the hours crept long past the
normal luncheon hour, and the long roads of the North London suburbs
seemed to shoot out into length after length like an infernal
telescope. It was one of those journeys on which a man perpetually
feels that now at last he must have come to the end of the universe,
and then finds he has only come to the beginning of Tufnell Park.
London died away in draggled taverns and dreary scrubs, and then was
unaccountably born again in blazing high streets and blatant hotels.
It was like passing through thirteen separate vulgar cities all just
touching each other. But though the winter twilight was already
threatening the road ahead of them, the Parisian detective still sat
silent and watchful, eyeing the frontage of the streets that slid by
on either side. By the time they had left Camden Town behind, the
policemen were nearly asleep; at least, they gave something like a
jump as Valentin leapt erect, struck a hand on each man’s
shoulder, and shouted to the driver to stop.
They tumbled down the steps into the
road without realising why they had been dislodged; when they looked
round for enlightenment they found Valentin triumphantly pointing his
finger towards a window on the left side of the road. It was a large
window, forming part of the long facade of a gilt and palatial
public-house; it was the part reserved for respectable dining, and
labelled “Restaurant.” This window, like all the rest
along the frontage of the hotel, was of frosted and figured glass;
but in the middle of it was a big, black smash, like a star in the
ice.
“Our cue at
last,” cried Valentin, waving his stick; “the place with
the broken window.”
“What window?
What cue?” asked his principal assistant. “Why, what
proof is there that this has anything to do with them?”
Valentin almost broke his bamboo stick
with rage.
“Proof!”
he cried. “Good God! the man is looking for proof! Why, of
course, the chances are twenty to one that it has nothing to do with
them. But what else can we do? Don’t you see we must either
follow one wild possibility or else go home to bed?” He banged
his way into the restaurant, followed by his companions, and they
were soon seated at a late luncheon at a little table, and looked at
the star of smashed glass from the inside. Not that it was very
informative to them even then.
“Got your
window broken, I see,” said Valentin to the waiter as he paid
the bill.
“Yes, sir,”
answered the attendant, bending busily over the change, to which
Valentin silently added an enormous tip. The waiter straightened
himself with mild but unmistakable animation.
“Ah, yes, sir,”
he said. “Very odd thing, that, sir.”
“Indeed?”
Tell us about it,” said the detective with careless curiosity.
“Well, two
gents in black came in,” said the waiter; “two of those
foreign parsons that are running about. They had a cheap and quiet
little lunch, and one of them paid for it and went out. The other was
just going out to join him when I looked at my change again and found
he’d paid me more than three times too much. ‘Here,’
I says to the chap who was nearly out of the door, ‘you’ve
paid too much.’ ‘Oh,’ he says, very cool, ‘have
we?’ ‘Yes,’ I says, and picks up the bill to show
him. Well, that was a knock-out.”
“What do you
mean?” asked his interlocutor.
“Well, I’d
have sworn on seven Bibles that I’d put 4s. on that bill. But
now I saw I’d put 14s., as plain as paint.”
“Well?”
cried Valentin, moving slowly, but with burning eyes, “and
then?”
“The parson at
the door he says all serene, ‘Sorry to confuse your accounts,
but it’ll pay for the window.’ ‘What window?’
I says. ‘The one I’m going to break,’ he says, and
smashed that blessed pane with his umbrella.”
All three inquirers made an exclamation;
and the inspector said under his breath, “Are we after escaped
lunatics?” The waiter went on with some relish for the
ridiculous story:
“I was so
knocked silly for a second, I couldn’t do anything. The man
marched out of the place and joined his friend just round the corner.
Then they went so quick up Bullock Street that I couldn’t catch
them, though I ran round the bars to do it.”
“Bullock
Street,” said the detective, and shot up that thoroughfare as
quickly as the strange couple he pursued.
Their journey now took them through bare
brick ways like tunnels; streets with few lights and even with few
windows; streets that seemed built out of the blank backs of
everything and everywhere. Dusk was deepening, and it was not easy
even for the London policemen to guess in what exact direction they
were treading. The inspector, however, was pretty certain that they
would eventually strike some part of Hampstead Heath. Abruptly one
bulging gas-lit window broke the blue twilight like a bull’s-eye
lantern; and Valentin stopped an instant before a little garish
sweetstuff shop. After an instant’s hesitation he went in; he
stood amid the gaudy colours of the confectionery with entire gravity
and bought thirteen chocolate cigars with a certain care. He was
clearly preparing an opening; but he did not need one.
An angular, elderly young woman in the
shop had regarded his elegant appearance with a merely automatic
inquiry; but when she saw the door behind him blocked with the blue
uniform of the inspector, her eyes seemed to wake up.
“Oh,” she
said, “if you’ve come about that parcel, I’ve sent
it off already.”
“Parcel?”
repeated Valentin; and it was his turn to look inquiring.
“I mean the
parcel the gentleman left—the clergyman gentleman.”
“For goodness’
sake,” said Valentin, leaning forward with his first real
confession of eagerness, “for Heaven’s sake tell us what
happened exactly.”
“Well,”
said the woman a little doubtfully, “the clergymen came in
about half an hour ago and bought some peppermints and talked a bit,
and then went off towards the Heath. But a second after, one of them
runs back into the shop and says, ‘Have I left a parcel!’
Well, I looked everywhere and couldn’t see one; so he says,
‘Never mind; but if it should turn up, please post it to this
address,’ and he left me the address and a shilling for my
trouble. And sure enough, though I thought I’d looked
everywhere, I found he’d left a brown paper parcel, so I posted
it to the place he said. I can’t remember the address now; it
was somewhere in Westminster. But as the thing seemed so important, I
thought perhaps the police had come about it.”
“So they have,”
said Valentin shortly. “Is Hampstead Heath near here?”
“Straight on
for fifteen minutes,” said the woman, “and you’ll
come right out on the open.” Valentin sprang out of the shop
and began to run. The other detectives followed him at a reluctant
trot.
The street they threaded was so narrow
and shut in by shadows that when they came out unexpectedly into the
void common and vast sky they were startled to find the evening still
so light and clear. A perfect dome of peacock-green sank into gold
amid the blackening trees and the dark violet distances. The glowing
green tint was just deep enough to pick out in points of crystal one
or two stars. All that was left of the daylight lay in a golden
glitter across the edge of Hampstead and that popular hollow which is
called the Vale of Health. The holiday makers who roam this region
had not wholly dispersed; a few couples sat shapelessly on benches;
and here and there a distant girl still shrieked in one of the
swings. The glory of heaven deepened and darkened around the sublime
vulgarity of man; and standing on the slope and looking across the
valley, Valentin beheld the thing which he sought.
Among the black and breaking groups in
that distance was one especially black which did not break—a
group of two figures clerically clad. Though they seemed as small as
insects, Valentin could see that one of them was much smaller than
the other. Though the other had a student’s stoop and an
inconspicuous manner, he could see that the man was well over six
feet high. He shut his teeth and went forward, whirling his stick
impatiently. By the time he had substantially diminished the distance
and magnified the two black figures as in a vast microscope, he had
perceived something else; something which startled him, and yet which
he had somehow expected. Whoever was the tall priest, there could be
no doubt about the identity of the short one. It was his friend of
the Harwich train, the stumpy little cure of Essex whom he had warned
about his brown paper parcels.
Now, so far as this went, everything
fitted in finally and rationally enough. Valentin had learned by his
inquiries that morning that a Father Brown from Essex was bringing up
a silver cross with sapphires, a relic of considerable value, to show
some of the foreign priests at the congress. This undoubtedly was the
“silver with blue stones”; and Father Brown undoubtedly
was the little greenhorn in the train. Now there was nothing
wonderful about the fact that what Valentin had found out Flambeau
had also found out; Flambeau found out everything. Also there was
nothing wonderful in the fact that when Flambeau heard of a sapphire
cross he should try to steal it; that was the most natural thing in
all natural history. And most certainly there was nothing wonderful
about the fact that Flambeau should have it all his own way with such
a silly sheep as the man with the umbrella and the parcels. He was
the sort of man whom anybody could lead on a string to the North
Pole; it was not surprising that an actor like Flambeau, dressed as
another priest, could lead him to Hampstead Heath. So far the crime
seemed clear enough; and while the detective pitied the priest for
his helplessness, he almost despised Flambeau for condescending to so
gullible a victim. But when Valentin thought of all that had happened
in between, of all that had led him to his triumph, he racked his
brains for the smallest rhyme or reason in it. What had the stealing
of a blue-and-silver cross from a priest from Essex to do with
chucking soup at wall paper? What had it to do with calling nuts
oranges, or with paying for windows first and breaking them
afterwards? He had come to the end of his chase; yet somehow he had
missed the middle of it. When he failed (which was seldom), he had
usually grasped the clue, but nevertheless missed the criminal. Here
he had grasped the criminal, but still he could not grasp the clue.
The two figures that they followed were
crawling like black flies across the huge green contour of a hill.
They were evidently sunk in conversation, and perhaps did not notice
where they were going; but they were certainly going to the wilder
and more silent heights of the Heath. As their pursuers gained on
them, the latter had to use the undignified attitudes of the
deer-stalker, to crouch behind clumps of trees and even to crawl
prostrate in deep grass. By these ungainly ingenuities the hunters
even came close enough to the quarry to hear the murmur of the
discussion, but no word could be distinguished except the word
“reason” recurring frequently in a high and almost
childish voice. Once over an abrupt dip of land and a dense tangle of
thickets, the detectives actually lost the two figures they were
following. They did not find the trail again for an agonising ten
minutes, and then it led round the brow of a great dome of hill
overlooking an amphitheatre of rich and desolate sunset scenery.
Under a tree in this commanding yet neglected spot was an old
ramshackle wooden seat. On this seat sat the two priests still in
serious speech together. The gorgeous green and gold still clung to
the darkening horizon; but the dome above was turning slowly from
peacock-green to peacock-blue, and the stars detached themselves more
and more like solid jewels. Mutely motioning to his followers,
Valentin contrived to creep up behind the big branching tree, and,
standing there in deathly silence, heard the words of the strange
priests for the first time.
After he had listened for a minute and a
half, he was gripped by a devilish doubt. Perhaps he had dragged the
two English policemen to the wastes of a nocturnal heath on an errand
no saner than seeking figs on its thistles. For the two priests were
talking exactly like priests, piously, with learning and leisure,
about the most aerial enigmas of theology. The little Essex priest
spoke the more simply, with his round face turned to the
strengthening stars; the other talked with his head bowed, as if he
were not even worthy to look at them. But no more innocently clerical
conversation could have been heard in any white Italian cloister or
black Spanish cathedral.
The first he heard was the tail of one
of Father Brown’s sentences, which ended: “ . . . what
they really meant in the Middle Ages by the heavens being
incorruptible.”
The taller priest nodded his bowed head
and said:
“Ah, yes, these
modern infidels appeal to their reason; but who can look at those
millions of worlds and not feel that there may well be wonderful
universes above us where reason is utterly unreasonable?”
“No,”
said the other priest; “reason is always reasonable, even in
the last limbo, in the lost borderland of things. I know that people
charge the Church with lowering reason, but it is just the other way.
Alone on earth, the Church makes reason really supreme. Alone on
earth, the Church affirms that God himself is bound by reason.”
The other priest raised his austere face
to the spangled sky and said:
“Yet who knows
if in that infinite universe—?”
“Only infinite
physically,” said the little priest, turning sharply in his
seat, “not infinite in the sense of escaping from the laws of
truth.”
Valentin behind his tree was tearing his
fingernails with silent fury. He seemed almost to hear the sniggers
of the English detectives whom he had brought so far on a fantastic
guess only to listen to the metaphysical gossip of two mild old
parsons. In his impatience he lost the equally elaborate answer of
the tall cleric, and when he listened again it was again Father Brown
who was speaking:
“Reason and
justice grip the remotest and the loneliest star. Look at those
stars. Don’t they look as if they were single diamonds and
sapphires? Well, you can imagine any mad botany or geology you
please. Think of forests of adamant with leaves of brilliants. Think
the moon is a blue moon, a single elephantine sapphire. But don’t
fancy that all that frantic astronomy would make the smallest
difference to the reason and justice of conduct. On plains of opal,
under cliffs cut out of pearl, you would still find a notice-board,
‘Thou shalt not steal.’”
Valentin was just in the act of rising
from his rigid and crouching attitude and creeping away as softly as
might be, felled by the one great folly of his life. But something in
the very silence of the tall priest made him stop until the latter
spoke. When at last he did speak, he said simply, his head bowed and
his hands on his knees:
“Well, I think
that other worlds may perhaps rise higher than our reason. The
mystery of heaven is unfathomable, and I for one can only bow my
head.”
Then, with brow yet bent and without
changing by the faintest shade his attitude or voice, he added:
“Just hand over
that sapphire cross of yours, will you? We’re all alone here,
and I could pull you to pieces like a straw doll.”
The utterly unaltered voice and attitude
added a strange violence to that shocking change of speech. But the
guarder of the relic only seemed to turn his head by the smallest
section of the compass. He seemed still to have a somewhat foolish
face turned to the stars. Perhaps he had not understood. Or, perhaps,
he had understood and sat rigid with terror.
“Yes,”
said the tall priest, in the same low voice and in the same still
posture, “yes, I am Flambeau.”
Then, after a pause, he said:
“Come, will you
give me that cross?”
“No,”
said the other, and the monosyllable had an odd sound.
Flambeau suddenly flung off all his
pontifical pretensions. The great robber leaned back in his seat and
laughed low but long.
“No,” he
cried, “you won’t give it me, you proud prelate. You
won’t give it me, you little celibate simpleton. Shall I tell
you why you won’t give it me? Because I’ve got it already
in my own breast-pocket.”
The small man from Essex turned what
seemed to be a dazed face in the dusk, and said, with the timid
eagerness of “The Private Secretary”:
“Are—are
you sure?”
Flambeau yelled with delight.
“Really, you’re
as good as a three-act farce,” he cried. “Yes, you
turnip, I am quite sure. I had the sense to make a duplicate of the
right parcel, and now, my friend, you’ve got the duplicate and
I’ve got the jewels. An old dodge, Father Brown—a very
old dodge.”
“Yes,”
said Father Brown, and passed his hand through his hair with the same
strange vagueness of manner. “Yes, I’ve heard of it
before.”
The colossus of crime leaned over to the
little rustic priest with a sort of sudden interest.
“You have heard
of it?” he asked. “Where have you heard of it?”
“Well, I
mustn’t tell you his name, of course,” said the little
man simply. “He was a penitent, you know. He had lived
prosperously for about twenty years entirely on duplicate brown paper
parcels. And so, you see, when I began to suspect you, I thought of
this poor chap’s way of doing it at once.”
“Began to
suspect me?” repeated the outlaw with increased intensity. “Did
you really have the gumption to suspect me just because I brought you
up to this bare part of the heath?”
“No, no,”
said Brown with an air of apology. “You see, I suspected you
when we first met. It’s that little bulge up the sleeve where
you people have the spiked bracelet.”
“How in
Tartarus,” cried Flambeau, “did you ever hear of the
spiked bracelet?”
“Oh, one’s
little flock, you know!” said Father Brown, arching his
eyebrows rather blankly. “When I was a curate in Hartlepool,
there were three of them with spiked bracelets. So, as I suspected
you from the first, don’t you see, I made sure that the cross
should go safe, anyhow. I’m afraid I watched you, you know. So
at last I saw you change the parcels. Then, don’t you see, I
changed them back again. And then I left the right one behind.”
“Left it
behind?” repeated Flambeau, and for the first time there was
another note in his voice beside his triumph.
“Well, it was
like this,” said the little priest, speaking in the same
unaffected way. “I went back to that sweet-shop and asked if
I’d left a parcel, and gave them a particular address if it
turned up. Well, I knew I hadn’t; but when I went away again I
did. So, instead of running after me with that valuable parcel, they
have sent it flying to a friend of mine in Westminster.” Then
he added rather sadly: “I learnt that, too, from a poor fellow
in Hartlepool. He used to do it with handbags he stole at railway
stations, but he’s in a monastery now. Oh, one gets to know,
you know,” he added, rubbing his head again with the same sort
of desperate apology. “We can’t help being priests.
People come and tell us these things.”
Flambeau tore a brown-paper parcel out
of his inner pocket and rent it in pieces. There was nothing but
paper and sticks of lead inside it. He sprang to his feet with a
gigantic gesture, and cried:
“I don’t
believe you. I don’t believe a bumpkin like you could manage
all that. I believe you’ve still got the stuff on you, and if
you don’t give it up—why, we’re all alone, and I’ll
take it by force!”
“No,”
said Father Brown simply, and stood up also, “you won’t
take it by force. First, because I really haven’t still got it.
And, second, because we are not alone.”
Flambeau stopped in his stride forward.
“Behind that
tree,” said Father Brown, pointing, “are two strong
policemen and the greatest detective alive. How did they come here,
do you ask? Why, I brought them, of course! How did I do it? Why,
I’ll tell you if you like! Lord bless you, we have to know
twenty such things when we work among the criminal classes! Well, I
wasn’t sure you were a thief, and it would never do to make a
scandal against one of our own clergy. So I just tested you to see if
anything would make you show yourself. A man generally makes a small
scene if he finds salt in his coffee; if he doesn’t, he has
some reason for keeping quiet. I changed the salt and sugar, and you
kept quiet. A man generally objects if his bill is three times too
big. If he pays it, he has some motive for passing unnoticed. I
altered your bill, and you paid it.”
The world seemed waiting for Flambeau to
leap like a tiger. But he was held back as by a spell; he was stunned
with the utmost curiosity.
“Well,”
went on Father Brown, with lumbering lucidity, “as you wouldn’t
leave any tracks for the police, of course somebody had to. At every
place we went to, I took care to do something that would get us
talked about for the rest of the day. I didn’t do much harm—a
splashed wall, spilt apples, a broken window; but I saved the cross,
as the cross will always be saved. It is at Westminster by now. I
rather wonder you didn’t stop it with the Donkey’s
Whistle.”
“With the
what?” asked Flambeau.
“I’m glad
you’ve never heard of it,” said the priest, making a
face. “It’s a foul thing. I’m sure you’re too
good a man for a Whistler. I couldn’t have countered it even
with the Spots myself; I’m not strong enough in the legs.”
“What on earth
are you talking about?” asked the other.
“Well, I did
think you’d know the Spots,” said Father Brown, agreeably
surprised. “Oh, you can’t have gone so very wrong yet!”
“How in blazes
do you know all these horrors?” cried Flambeau.
The shadow of a smile crossed the round,
simple face of his clerical opponent.
“Oh, by being a
celibate simpleton, I suppose,” he said. “Has it never
struck you that a man who does next to nothing but hear men’s
real sins is not likely to be wholly unaware of human evil? But, as a
matter of fact, another part of my trade, too, made me sure you
weren’t a priest.”
“What?”
asked the thief, almost gaping.
“You attacked
reason,” said Father Brown. “It’s bad theology.”
And even as he turned away to collect
his property, the three policemen came out from under the twilight
trees. Flambeau was an artist and a sportsman. He stepped back and
swept Valentin a great bow.
“Do not bow to
me, mon ami,” said Valentin with silver clearness. “Let
us both bow to our master.”
And they both stood an instant uncovered
while the little Essex priest blinked about for his umbrella.
The Secret Garden
Aristide Valentin, Chief of the Paris
Police, was late for his dinner, and some of his guests began to
arrive before him. These were, however, reassured by his confidential
servant, Ivan, the old man with a scar, and a face almost as grey as
his moustaches, who always sat at a table in the entrance hall—a
hall hung with weapons. Valentin’s house was perhaps as
peculiar and celebrated as its master. It was an old house, with high
walls and tall poplars almost overhanging the Seine; but the
oddity—and perhaps the police value—of its architecture
was this: that there was no ultimate exit at all except through this
front door, which was guarded by Ivan and the armoury. The garden was
large and elaborate, and there were many exits from the house into
the garden. But there was no exit from the garden into the world
outside; all round it ran a tall, smooth, unscalable wall with
special spikes at the top; no bad garden, perhaps, for a man to
reflect in whom some hundred criminals had sworn to kill.
As Ivan explained to the guests, their
host had telephoned that he was detained for ten minutes. He was, in
truth, making some last arrangements about executions and such ugly
things; and though these duties were rootedly repulsive to him, he
always performed them with precision. Ruthless in the pursuit of
criminals, he was very mild about their punishment. Since he had been
supreme over French—and largely over European—policial
methods, his great influence had been honourably used for the
mitigation of sentences and the purification of prisons. He was one
of the great humanitarian French freethinkers; and the only thing
wrong with them is that they make mercy even colder than justice.
When Valentin arrived he was already
dressed in black clothes and the red rosette—an elegant figure,
his dark beard already streaked with grey. He went straight through
his house to his study, which opened on the grounds behind. The
garden door of it was open, and after he had carefully locked his box
in its official place, he stood for a few seconds at the open door
looking out upon the garden. A sharp moon was fighting with the
flying rags and tatters of a storm, and Valentin regarded it with a
wistfulness unusual in such scientific natures as his. Perhaps such
scientific natures have some psychic prevision of the most tremendous
problem of their lives. From any such occult mood, at least, he
quickly recovered, for he knew he was late, and that his guests had
already begun to arrive. A glance at his drawing-room when he entered
it was enough to make certain that his principal guest was not there,
at any rate. He saw all the other pillars of the little party; he saw
Lord Galloway, the English Ambassador—a choleric old man with a
russet face like an apple, wearing the blue ribbon of the Garter. He
saw Lady Galloway, slim and threadlike, with silver hair and a face
sensitive and superior. He saw her daughter, Lady Margaret Graham, a
pale and pretty girl with an elfish face and copper-coloured hair. He
saw the Duchess of Mont St. Michel, black-eyed and opulent, and with
her her two daughters, black-eyed and opulent also. He saw Dr. Simon,
a typical French scientist, with glasses, a pointed brown beard, and
a forehead barred with those parallel wrinkles which are the penalty
of superciliousness, since they come through constantly elevating the
eyebrows. He saw Father Brown, of Cobhole, in Essex, whom he had
recently met in England. He saw—perhaps with more interest than
any of these—a tall man in uniform, who had bowed to the
Galloways without receiving any very hearty acknowledgment, and who
now advanced alone to pay his respects to his host. This was
Commandant O’Brien, of the French Foreign Legion. He was a slim
yet somewhat swaggering figure, clean-shaven, dark-haired, and
blue-eyed, and, as seemed natural in an officer of that famous
regiment of victorious failures and successful suicides, he had an
air at once dashing and melancholy. He was by birth an Irish
gentleman, and in boyhood had known the Galloways—especially
Margaret Graham. He had left his country after some crash of debts,
and now expressed his complete freedom from British etiquette by
swinging about in uniform, sabre and spurs. When he bowed to the
Ambassador’s family, Lord and Lady Galloway bent stiffly, and
Lady Margaret looked away.
But for whatever old causes such people
might be interested in each other, their distinguished host was not
specially interested in them. No one of them at least was in his eyes
the guest of the evening. Valentin was expecting, for special
reasons, a man of world-wide fame, whose friendship he had secured
during some of his great detective tours and triumphs in the United
States. He was expecting Julius K. Brayne, that multi-millionaire
whose colossal and even crushing endowments of small religions have
occasioned so much easy sport and easier solemnity for the American
and English papers. Nobody could quite make out whether Mr. Brayne
was an atheist or a Mormon or a Christian Scientist; but he was ready
to pour money into any intellectual vessel, so long as it was an
untried vessel. One of his hobbies was to wait for the American
Shakespeare—a hobby more patient than angling. He admired Walt
Whitman, but thought that Luke P. Tanner, of Paris, Pa., was more
“progressive” than Whitman any day. He liked anything
that he thought “progressive.” He thought Valentin
“progressive,” thereby doing him a grave injustice.
The solid appearance of Julius K. Brayne
in the room was as decisive as a dinner bell. He had this great
quality, which very few of us can claim, that his presence was as big
as his absence. He was a huge fellow, as fat as he was tall, clad in
complete evening black, without so much relief as a watch-chain or a
ring. His hair was white and well brushed back like a German’s;
his face was red, fierce and cherubic, with one dark tuft under the
lower lip that threw up that otherwise infantile visage with an
effect theatrical and even Mephistophelean. Not long, however, did
that salon merely stare at the celebrated American; his lateness had
already become a domestic problem, and he was sent with all speed
into the dining-room with Lady Galloway on his arm.
Except on one point the Galloways were
genial and casual enough. So long as Lady Margaret did not take the
arm of that adventurer O’Brien, her father was quite satisfied;
and she had not done so, she had decorously gone in with Dr. Simon.
Nevertheless, old Lord Galloway was restless and almost rude. He was
diplomatic enough during dinner, but when, over the cigars, three of
the younger men—Simon the doctor, Brown the priest, and the
detrimental O’Brien, the exile in a foreign uniform—all
melted away to mix with the ladies or smoke in the conservatory, then
the English diplomatist grew very undiplomatic indeed. He was stung
every sixty seconds with the thought that the scamp O’Brien
might be signalling to Margaret somehow; he did not attempt to
imagine how. He was left over the coffee with Brayne, the hoary
Yankee who believed in all religions, and Valentin, the grizzled
Frenchman who believed in none. They could argue with each other, but
neither could appeal to him. After a time this “progressive”
logomachy had reached a crisis of tedium; Lord Galloway got up also
and sought the drawing-room. He lost his way in long passages for
some six or eight minutes: till he heard the high-pitched, didactic
voice of the doctor, and then the dull voice of the priest, followed
by general laughter. They also, he thought with a curse, were
probably arguing about “science and religion.” But the
instant he opened the salon door he saw only one thing—he saw
what was not there. He saw that Commandant O’Brien was absent,
and that Lady Margaret was absent too.
Rising impatiently from the
drawing-room, as he had from the dining-room, he stamped along the
passage once more. His notion of protecting his daughter from the
Irish-Algerian n’er-do-weel had become something central and
even mad in his mind. As he went towards the back of the house, where
was Valentin’s study, he was surprised to meet his daughter,
who swept past with a white, scornful face, which was a second
enigma. If she had been with O’Brien, where was O’Brien!
If she had not been with O’Brien, where had she been? With a
sort of senile and passionate suspicion he groped his way to the dark
back parts of the mansion, and eventually found a servants’
entrance that opened on to the garden. The moon with her scimitar had
now ripped up and rolled away all the storm-wrack. The argent light
lit up all four corners of the garden. A tall figure in blue was
striding across the lawn towards the study door; a glint of moonlit
silver on his facings picked him out as Commandant O’Brien.
He vanished through the French windows
into the house, leaving Lord Galloway in an indescribable temper, at
once virulent and vague. The blue-and-silver garden, like a scene in
a theatre, seemed to taunt him with all that tyrannic tenderness
against which his worldly authority was at war. The length and grace
of the Irishman’s stride enraged him as if he were a rival
instead of a father; the moonlight maddened him. He was trapped as if
by magic into a garden of troubadours, a Watteau fairyland; and,
willing to shake off such amorous imbecilities by speech, he stepped
briskly after his enemy. As he did so he tripped over some tree or
stone in the grass; looked down at it first with irritation and then
a second time with curiosity. The next instant the moon and the tall
poplars looked at an unusual sight—an elderly English
diplomatist running hard and crying or bellowing as he ran.
His hoarse shouts brought a pale face to
the study door, the beaming glasses and worried brow of Dr. Simon,
who heard the nobleman’s first clear words. Lord Galloway was
crying: “A corpse in the grass—a blood-stained corpse.”
O’Brien at last had gone utterly out of his mind.
“We must tell
Valentin at once,” said the doctor, when the other had brokenly
described all that he had dared to examine. “It is fortunate
that he is here;” and even as he spoke the great detective
entered the study, attracted by the cry. It was almost amusing to
note his typical transformation; he had come with the common concern
of a host and a gentleman, fearing that some guest or servant was
ill. When he was told the gory fact, he turned with all his gravity
instantly bright and businesslike; for this, however abrupt and
awful, was his business.
“Strange,
gentlemen,” he said as they hurried out into the garden, “that
I should have hunted mysteries all over the earth, and now one comes
and settles in my own back-yard. But where is the place?” They
crossed the lawn less easily, as a slight mist had begun to rise from
the river; but under the guidance of the shaken Galloway they found
the body sunken in deep grass—the body of a very tall and
broad-shouldered man. He lay face downwards, so they could only see
that his big shoulders were clad in black cloth, and that his big
head was bald, except for a wisp or two of brown hair that clung to
his skull like wet seaweed. A scarlet serpent of blood crawled from
under his fallen face.
“At least,”
said Simon, with a deep and singular intonation, “he is none of
our party.”
“Examine him,
doctor,” cried Valentin rather sharply. “He may not be
dead.”
The doctor bent down. “He is not
quite cold, but I am afraid he is dead enough,” he answered.
“Just help me to lift him up.”
They lifted him carefully an inch from
the ground, and all doubts as to his being really dead were settled
at once and frightfully. The head fell away. It had been entirely
sundered from the body; whoever had cut his throat had managed to
sever the neck as well. Even Valentin was slightly shocked. “He
must have been as strong as a gorilla,” he muttered.
Not without a shiver, though he was used
to anatomical abortions, Dr. Simon lifted the head. It was slightly
slashed about the neck and jaw, but the face was substantially
unhurt. It was a ponderous, yellow face, at once sunken and swollen,
with a hawk-like nose and heavy lids—a face of a wicked Roman
emperor, with, perhaps, a distant touch of a Chinese emperor. All
present seemed to look at it with the coldest eye of ignorance.
Nothing else could be noted about the man except that, as they had
lifted his body, they had seen underneath it the white gleam of a
shirt-front defaced with a red gleam of blood. As Dr. Simon said, the
man had never been of their party. But he might very well have been
trying to join it, for he had come dressed for such an occasion.
Valentin went down on his hands and
knees and examined with his closest professional attention the grass
and ground for some twenty yards round the body, in which he was
assisted less skillfully by the doctor, and quite vaguely by the
English lord. Nothing rewarded their grovellings except a few twigs,
snapped or chopped into very small lengths, which Valentin lifted for
an instant’s examination and then tossed away.
“Twigs,”
he said gravely; “twigs, and a total stranger with his head cut
off; that is all there is on this lawn.”
There was an almost creepy stillness,
and then the unnerved Galloway called out sharply:
“Who’s
that! Who’s that over there by the garden wall!”
A small figure with a foolishly large
head drew waveringly near them in the moonlit haze; looked for an
instant like a goblin, but turned out to be the harmless little
priest whom they had left in the drawing-room.
“I say,”
he said meekly, “there are no gates to this garden, do you
know.”
Valentin’s black brows had come
together somewhat crossly, as they did on principle at the sight of
the cassock. But he was far too just a man to deny the relevance of
the remark. “You are right,” he said. “Before we
find out how he came to be killed, we may have to find out how he
came to be here. Now listen to me, gentlemen. If it can be done
without prejudice to my position and duty, we shall all agree that
certain distinguished names might well be kept out of this. There are
ladies, gentlemen, and there is a foreign ambassador. If we must mark
it down as a crime, then it must be followed up as a crime. But till
then I can use my own discretion. I am the head of the police; I am
so public that I can afford to be private. Please Heaven, I will
clear everyone of my own guests before I call in my men to look for
anybody else. Gentlemen, upon your honour, you will none of you leave
the house till tomorrow at noon; there are bedrooms for all. Simon, I
think you know where to find my man, Ivan, in the front hall; he is a
confidential man. Tell him to leave another servant on guard and come
to me at once. Lord Galloway, you are certainly the best person to
tell the ladies what has happened, and prevent a panic. They also
must stay. Father Brown and I will remain with the body.”
When this spirit of the captain spoke in
Valentin he was obeyed like a bugle. Dr. Simon went through to the
armoury and routed out Ivan, the public detective’s private
detective. Galloway went to the drawing-room and told the terrible
news tactfully enough, so that by the time the company assembled
there the ladies were already startled and already soothed. Meanwhile
the good priest and the good atheist stood at the head and foot of
the dead man motionless in the moonlight, like symbolic statues of
their two philosophies of death.
Ivan, the confidential man with the scar
and the moustaches, came out of the house like a cannon ball, and
came racing across the lawn to Valentin like a dog to his master. His
livid face was quite lively with the glow of this domestic detective
story, and it was with almost unpleasant eagerness that he asked his
master’s permission to examine the remains.
“Yes; look, if
you like, Ivan,” said Valentin, “but don’t be long.
We must go in and thrash this out in the house.”
Ivan lifted the head, and then almost
let it drop.
“Why,” he
gasped, “it’s—no, it isn’t; it can’t
be. Do you know this man, sir?”
“No,”
said Valentin indifferently; “we had better go inside.”
Between them they carried the corpse to
a sofa in the study, and then all made their way to the drawing-room.
The detective sat down at a desk
quietly, and even without hesitation; but his eye was the iron eye of
a judge at assize. He made a few rapid notes upon paper in front of
him, and then said shortly: “Is everybody here?”
“Not Mr.
Brayne,” said the Duchess of Mont St. Michel, looking round.
“No,”
said Lord Galloway in a hoarse, harsh voice. “And not Mr. Neil
O’Brien, I fancy. I saw that gentleman walking in the garden
when the corpse was still warm.”
“Ivan,”
said the detective, “go and fetch Commandant O’Brien and
Mr. Brayne. Mr. Brayne, I know, is finishing a cigar in the
dining-room; Commandant O’Brien, I think, is walking up and
down the conservatory. I am not sure.”
The faithful attendant flashed from the
room, and before anyone could stir or speak Valentin went on with the
same soldierly swiftness of exposition.
“Everyone here
knows that a dead man has been found in the garden, his head cut
clean from his body. Dr. Simon, you have examined it. Do you think
that to cut a man’s throat like that would need great force?
Or, perhaps, only a very sharp knife?”
“I should say
that it could not be done with a knife at all,” said the pale
doctor.
“Have you any
thought,” resumed Valentin, “of a tool with which it
could be done?”
“Speaking
within modern probabilities, I really haven’t,” said the
doctor, arching his painful brows. “It’s not easy to hack
a neck through even clumsily, and this was a very clean cut. It could
be done with a battle-axe or an old headsman’s axe, or an old
two-handed sword.”
“But, good
heavens!” cried the Duchess, almost in hysterics, “there
aren’t any two-handed swords and battle-axes round here.”
Valentin was still busy with the paper
in front of him. “Tell me,” he said, still writing
rapidly, “could it have been done with a long French cavalry
sabre?”
A low knocking came at the door, which,
for some unreasonable reason, curdled everyone’s blood like the
knocking in Macbeth. Amid that frozen silence Dr. Simon managed to
say: “A sabre—yes, I suppose it could.”
“Thank you,”
said Valentin. “Come in, Ivan.”
The confidential Ivan opened the door
and ushered in Commandant Neil O’Brien, whom he had found at
last pacing the garden again.
The Irish officer stood up disordered
and defiant on the threshold. “What do you want with me?”
he cried.
“Please sit
down,” said Valentin in pleasant, level tones. “Why, you
aren’t wearing your sword. Where is it?”
“I left it on
the library table,” said O’Brien, his brogue deepening in
his disturbed mood. “It was a nuisance, it was getting—”
“Ivan,”
said Valentin, “please go and get the Commandant’s sword
from the library.” Then, as the servant vanished, “Lord
Galloway says he saw you leaving the garden just before he found the
corpse. What were you doing in the garden?”
The Commandant flung himself recklessly
into a chair. “Oh,” he cried in pure Irish, “admirin’
the moon. Communing with Nature, me bhoy.”
A heavy silence sank and endured, and at
the end of it came again that trivial and terrible knocking. Ivan
reappeared, carrying an empty steel scabbard. “This is all I
can find,” he said.
“Put it on the
table,” said Valentin, without looking up.
There was an inhuman silence in the
room, like that sea of inhuman silence round the dock of the
condemned murderer. The Duchess’s weak exclamations had long
ago died away. Lord Galloway’s swollen hatred was satisfied and
even sobered. The voice that came was quite unexpected.
“I think I can
tell you,” cried Lady Margaret, in that clear, quivering voice
with which a courageous woman speaks publicly. “I can tell you
what Mr. O’Brien was doing in the garden, since he is bound to
silence. He was asking me to marry him. I refused; I said in my
family circumstances I could give him nothing but my respect. He was
a little angry at that; he did not seem to think much of my respect.
I wonder,” she added, with rather a wan smile, “if he
will care at all for it now. For I offer it him now. I will swear
anywhere that he never did a thing like this.”
Lord Galloway had edged up to his
daughter, and was intimidating her in what he imagined to be an
undertone. “Hold your tongue, Maggie,” he said in a
thunderous whisper. “Why should you shield the fellow? Where’s
his sword? Where’s his confounded cavalry—”
He stopped because of the singular stare
with which his daughter was regarding him, a look that was indeed a
lurid magnet for the whole group.
“You old fool!”
she said in a low voice without pretence of piety, “what do you
suppose you are trying to prove? I tell you this man was innocent
while with me. But if he wasn’t innocent, he was still with me.
If he murdered a man in the garden, who was it who must have seen—who
must at least have known? Do you hate Neil so much as to put your own
daughter—”
Lady Galloway screamed. Everyone else
sat tingling at the touch of those satanic tragedies that have been
between lovers before now. They saw the proud, white face of the
Scotch aristocrat and her lover, the Irish adventurer, like old
portraits in a dark house. The long silence was full of formless
historical memories of murdered husbands and poisonous paramours.
In the centre of this morbid silence an
innocent voice said: “Was it a very long cigar?”
The change of thought was so sharp that
they had to look round to see who had spoken.
“I mean,”
said little Father Brown, from the corner of the room, “I mean
that cigar Mr. Brayne is finishing. It seems nearly as long as a
walking-stick.”
Despite the irrelevance there was assent
as well as irritation in Valentin’s face as he lifted his head.
“Quite right,”
he remarked sharply. “Ivan, go and see about Mr. Brayne again,
and bring him here at once.”
The instant the factotum had closed the
door, Valentin addressed the girl with an entirely new earnestness.
“Lady
Margaret,” he said, “we all feel, I am sure, both
gratitude and admiration for your act in rising above your lower
dignity and explaining the Commandant’s conduct. But there is a
hiatus still. Lord Galloway, I understand, met you passing from the
study to the drawing-room, and it was only some minutes afterwards
that he found the garden and the Commandant still walking there.”
“You have to
remember,” replied Margaret, with a faint irony in her voice,
“that I had just refused him, so we should scarcely have come
back arm in arm. He is a gentleman, anyhow; and he loitered
behind—and so got charged with murder.”
“In those few
moments,” said Valentin gravely, “he might really—”
The knock came again, and Ivan put in
his scarred face.
“Beg pardon,
sir,” he said, “but Mr. Brayne has left the house.”
“Left!”
cried Valentin, and rose for the first time to his feet.
“Gone. Scooted.
Evaporated,” replied Ivan in humorous French. “His hat
and coat are gone, too, and I’ll tell you something to cap it
all. I ran outside the house to find any traces of him, and I found
one, and a big trace, too.”
“What do you
mean?” asked Valentin.
“I’ll
show you,” said his servant, and reappeared with a flashing
naked cavalry sabre, streaked with blood about the point and edge.
Everyone in the room eyed it as if it were a thunderbolt; but the
experienced Ivan went on quite quietly:
“I found this,”
he said, “flung among the bushes fifty yards up the road to
Paris. In other words, I found it just where your respectable Mr.
Brayne threw it when he ran away.”
There was again a silence, but of a new
sort. Valentin took the sabre, examined it, reflected with unaffected
concentration of thought, and then turned a respectful face to
O’Brien. “Commandant,” he said, “we trust you
will always produce this weapon if it is wanted for police
examination. Meanwhile,” he added, slapping the steel back in
the ringing scabbard, “let me return you your sword.”
At the military symbolism of the action
the audience could hardly refrain from applause.
For Neil O’Brien, indeed, that
gesture was the turning-point of existence. By the time he was
wandering in the mysterious garden again in the colours of the
morning the tragic futility of his ordinary mien had fallen from him;
he was a man with many reasons for happiness. Lord Galloway was a
gentleman, and had offered him an apology. Lady Margaret was
something better than a lady, a woman at least, and had perhaps given
him something better than an apology, as they drifted among the old
flowerbeds before breakfast. The whole company was more lighthearted
and humane, for though the riddle of the death remained, the load of
suspicion was lifted off them all, and sent flying off to Paris with
the strange millionaire—a man they hardly knew. The devil was
cast out of the house—he had cast himself out.
Still, the riddle remained; and when
O’Brien threw himself on a garden seat beside Dr. Simon, that
keenly scientific person at once resumed it. He did not get much talk
out of O’Brien, whose thoughts were on pleasanter things.
“I can’t
say it interests me much,” said the Irishman frankly,
“especially as it seems pretty plain now. Apparently Brayne
hated this stranger for some reason; lured him into the garden, and
killed him with my sword. Then he fled to the city, tossing the sword
away as he went. By the way, Ivan tells me the dead man had a Yankee
dollar in his pocket. So he was a countryman of Brayne’s, and
that seems to clinch it. I don’t see any difficulties about the
business.”
“There are five
colossal difficulties,” said the doctor quietly; “like
high walls within walls. Don’t mistake me. I don’t doubt
that Brayne did it; his flight, I fancy, proves that. But as to how
he did it. First difficulty: Why should a man kill another man with a
great hulking sabre, when he can almost kill him with a pocket knife
and put it back in his pocket? Second difficulty: Why was there no
noise or outcry? Does a man commonly see another come up waving a
scimitar and offer no remarks? Third difficulty: A servant watched
the front door all the evening; and a rat cannot get into Valentin’s
garden anywhere. How did the dead man get into the garden? Fourth
difficulty: Given the same conditions, how did Brayne get out of the
garden?”
“And the
fifth,” said Neil, with eyes fixed on the English priest who
was coming slowly up the path.
“Is a trifle, I
suppose,” said the doctor, “but I think an odd one. When
I first saw how the head had been slashed, I supposed the assassin
had struck more than once. But on examination I found many cuts
across the truncated section; in other words, they were struck after
the head was off. Did Brayne hate his foe so fiendishly that he stood
sabring his body in the moonlight?”
“Horrible!”
said O’Brien, and shuddered.
The little priest, Brown, had arrived
while they were talking, and had waited, with characteristic shyness,
till they had finished. Then he said awkwardly:
“I say, I’m
sorry to interrupt. But I was sent to tell you the news!”
“News?”
repeated Simon, and stared at him rather painfully through his
glasses.
“Yes, I’m
sorry,” said Father Brown mildly. “There’s been
another murder, you know.”
Both men on the seat sprang up, leaving
it rocking.
“And, what’s
stranger still,” continued the priest, with his dull eye on the
rhododendrons, “it’s the same disgusting sort; it’s
another beheading. They found the second head actually bleeding into
the river, a few yards along Brayne’s road to Paris; so they
suppose that he—”
“Great Heaven!”
cried O’Brien. “Is Brayne a monomaniac?”
“There are
American vendettas,” said the priest impassively. Then he
added: “They want you to come to the library and see it.”
Commandant O’Brien followed the
others towards the inquest, feeling decidedly sick. As a soldier, he
loathed all this secretive carnage; where were these extravagant
amputations going to stop? First one head was hacked off, and then
another; in this case (he told himself bitterly) it was not true that
two heads were better than one. As he crossed the study he almost
staggered at a shocking coincidence. Upon Valentin’s table lay
the coloured picture of yet a third bleeding head; and it was the
head of Valentin himself. A second glance showed him it was only a
Nationalist paper, called The Guillotine, which every week showed one
of its political opponents with rolling eyes and writhing features
just after execution; for Valentin was an anti-clerical of some note.
But O’Brien was an Irishman, with a kind of chastity even in
his sins; and his gorge rose against that great brutality of the
intellect which belongs only to France. He felt Paris as a whole,
from the grotesques on the Gothic churches to the gross caricatures
in the newspapers. He remembered the gigantic jests of the
Revolution. He saw the whole city as one ugly energy, from the
sanguinary sketch lying on Valentin’s table up to where, above
a mountain and forest of gargoyles, the great devil grins on Notre
Dame.
The library was long, low, and dark;
what light entered it shot from under low blinds and had still some
of the ruddy tinge of morning. Valentin and his servant Ivan were
waiting for them at the upper end of a long, slightly-sloping desk,
on which lay the mortal remains, looking enormous in the twilight.
The big black figure and yellow face of the man found in the garden
confronted them essentially unchanged. The second head, which had
been fished from among the river reeds that morning, lay streaming
and dripping beside it; Valentin’s men were still seeking to
recover the rest of this second corpse, which was supposed to be
afloat. Father Brown, who did not seem to share O’Brien’s
sensibilities in the least, went up to the second head and examined
it with his blinking care. It was little more than a mop of wet white
hair, fringed with silver fire in the red and level morning light;
the face, which seemed of an ugly, empurpled and perhaps criminal
type, had been much battered against trees or stones as it tossed in
the water.
“Good morning,
Commandant O’Brien,” said Valentin, with quiet
cordiality. “You have heard of Brayne’s last experiment
in butchery, I suppose?”
Father Brown was still bending over the
head with white hair, and he said, without looking up:
“I suppose it
is quite certain that Brayne cut off this head, too.”
“Well, it seems
common sense,” said Valentin, with his hands in his pockets.
“Killed in the same way as the other. Found within a few yards
of the other. And sliced by the same weapon which we know he carried
away.”
“Yes, yes; I
know,” replied Father Brown submissively. “Yet, you know,
I doubt whether Brayne could have cut off this head.”
“Why not?”
inquired Dr. Simon, with a rational stare.
“Well, doctor,”
said the priest, looking up blinking, “can a man cut off his
own head? I don’t know.”
O’Brien felt an insane universe
crashing about his ears; but the doctor sprang forward with impetuous
practicality and pushed back the wet white hair.
“Oh, there’s
no doubt it’s Brayne,” said the priest quietly. “He
had exactly that chip in the left ear.”
The detective, who had been regarding
the priest with steady and glittering eyes, opened his clenched mouth
and said sharply: “You seem to know a lot about him, Father
Brown.”
“I do,”
said the little man simply. “I’ve been about with him for
some weeks. He was thinking of joining our church.”
The star of the fanatic sprang into
Valentin’s eyes; he strode towards the priest with clenched
hands. “And, perhaps,” he cried, with a blasting sneer,
“perhaps he was also thinking of leaving all his money to your
church.”
“Perhaps he
was,” said Brown stolidly; “it is possible.”
“In that case,”
cried Valentin, with a dreadful smile, “you may indeed know a
great deal about him. About his life and about his—”
Commandant O’Brien laid a hand on
Valentin’s arm. “Drop that slanderous rubbish, Valentin,”
he said, “or there may be more swords yet.”
But Valentin (under the steady, humble
gaze of the priest) had already recovered himself. “Well,”
he said shortly, “people’s private opinions can wait. You
gentlemen are still bound by your promise to stay; you must enforce
it on yourselves—and on each other. Ivan here will tell you
anything more you want to know; I must get to business and write to
the authorities. We can’t keep this quiet any longer. I shall
be writing in my study if there is any more news.”
“Is there any
more news, Ivan?” asked Dr. Simon, as the chief of police
strode out of the room.
“Only one more
thing, I think, sir,” said Ivan, wrinkling up his grey old
face, “but that’s important, too, in its way. There’s
that old buffer you found on the lawn,” and he pointed without
pretence of reverence at the big black body with the yellow head.
“We’ve found out who he is, anyhow.”
“Indeed!”
cried the astonished doctor, “and who is he?”
“His name was
Arnold Becker,” said the under-detective, “though he went
by many aliases. He was a wandering sort of scamp, and is known to
have been in America; so that was where Brayne got his knife into
him. We didn’t have much to do with him ourselves, for he
worked mostly in Germany. We’ve communicated, of course, with
the German police. But, oddly enough, there was a twin brother of
his, named Louis Becker, whom we had a great deal to do with. In
fact, we found it necessary to guillotine him only yesterday. Well,
it’s a rum thing, gentlemen, but when I saw that fellow flat on
the lawn I had the greatest jump of my life. If I hadn’t seen
Louis Becker guillotined with my own eyes, I’d have sworn it
was Louis Becker lying there in the grass. Then, of course, I
remembered his twin brother in Germany, and following up the clue—”
The explanatory Ivan stopped, for the
excellent reason that nobody was listening to him. The Commandant and
the doctor were both staring at Father Brown, who had sprung stiffly
to his feet, and was holding his temples tight like a man in sudden
and violent pain.
“Stop, stop,
stop!” he cried; “stop talking a minute, for I see half.
Will God give me strength? Will my brain make the one jump and see
all? Heaven help me! I used to be fairly good at thinking. I could
paraphrase any page in Aquinas once. Will my head split—or will
it see? I see half—I only see half.”
He buried his head in his hands, and
stood in a sort of rigid torture of thought or prayer, while the
other three could only go on staring at this last prodigy of their
wild twelve hours.
When Father Brown’s hands fell
they showed a face quite fresh and serious, like a child’s. He
heaved a huge sigh, and said: “Let us get this said and done
with as quickly as possible. Look here, this will be the quickest way
to convince you all of the truth.” He turned to the doctor.
“Dr. Simon,” he said, “you have a strong
head-piece, and I heard you this morning asking the five hardest
questions about this business. Well, if you will ask them again, I
will answer them.”
Simon’s pince-nez dropped from his
nose in his doubt and wonder, but he answered at once. “Well,
the first question, you know, is why a man should kill another with a
clumsy sabre at all when a man can kill with a bodkin?”
“A man cannot
behead with a bodkin,” said Brown calmly, “and for this
murder beheading was absolutely necessary.”
“Why?”
asked O’Brien, with interest.
“And the next
question?” asked Father Brown.
“Well, why
didn’t the man cry out or anything?” asked the doctor;
“sabres in gardens are certainly unusual.”
“Twigs,”
said the priest gloomily, and turned to the window which looked on
the scene of death. “No one saw the point of the twigs. Why
should they lie on that lawn (look at it) so far from any tree? They
were not snapped off; they were chopped off. The murderer occupied
his enemy with some tricks with the sabre, showing how he could cut a
branch in mid-air, or what-not. Then, while his enemy bent down to
see the result, a silent slash, and the head fell.”
“Well,”
said the doctor slowly, “that seems plausible enough. But my
next two questions will stump anyone.”
The priest still stood looking
critically out of the window and waited.
“You know how
all the garden was sealed up like an air-tight chamber,” went
on the doctor. “Well, how did the strange man get into the
garden?”
Without turning round, the little priest
answered: “There never was any strange man in the garden.”
There was a silence, and then a sudden
cackle of almost childish laughter relieved the strain. The absurdity
of Brown’s remark moved Ivan to open taunts.
“Oh!” he
cried; “then we didn’t lug a great fat corpse on to a
sofa last night? He hadn’t got into the garden, I suppose?”
“Got into the
garden?” repeated Brown reflectively. “No, not entirely.”
“Hang it all,”
cried Simon, “a man gets into a garden, or he doesn’t.”
“Not
necessarily,” said the priest, with a faint smile. “What
is the nest question, doctor?”
“I fancy you’re
ill,” exclaimed Dr. Simon sharply; “but I’ll ask
the next question if you like. How did Brayne get out of the garden?”
“He didn’t
get out of the garden,” said the priest, still looking out of
the window.
“Didn’t
get out of the garden?” exploded Simon.
“Not
completely,” said Father Brown.
Simon shook his fists in a frenzy of
French logic. “A man gets out of a garden, or he doesn’t,”
he cried.
“Not always,”
said Father Brown.
Dr. Simon sprang to his feet
impatiently. “I have no time to spare on such senseless talk,”
he cried angrily. “If you can’t understand a man being on
one side of a wall or the other, I won’t trouble you further.”
“Doctor,”
said the cleric very gently, “we have always got on very
pleasantly together. If only for the sake of old friendship, stop and
tell me your fifth question.”
The impatient Simon sank into a chair by
the door and said briefly: “The head and shoulders were cut
about in a queer way. It seemed to be done after death.”
“Yes,”
said the motionless priest, “it was done so as to make you
assume exactly the one simple falsehood that you did assume. It was
done to make you take for granted that the head belonged to the
body.”
The borderland of the brain, where all
the monsters are made, moved horribly in the Gaelic O’Brien. He
felt the chaotic presence of all the horse-men and fish-women that
man’s unnatural fancy has begotten. A voice older than his
first fathers seemed saying in his ear: “Keep out of the
monstrous garden where grows the tree with double fruit. Avoid the
evil garden where died the man with two heads.” Yet, while
these shameful symbolic shapes passed across the ancient mirror of
his Irish soul, his Frenchified intellect was quite alert, and was
watching the odd priest as closely and incredulously as all the rest.
Father Brown had turned round at last,
and stood against the window, with his face in dense shadow; but even
in that shadow they could see it was pale as ashes. Nevertheless, he
spoke quite sensibly, as if there were no Gaelic souls on earth.
“Gentlemen,”
he said, “you did not find the strange body of Becker in the
garden. You did not find any strange body in the garden. In face of
Dr. Simon’s rationalism, I still affirm that Becker was only
partly present. Look here!” (pointing to the black bulk of the
mysterious corpse) “you never saw that man in your lives. Did
you ever see this man?”
He rapidly rolled away the bald, yellow
head of the unknown, and put in its place the white-maned head beside
it. And there, complete, unified, unmistakable, lay Julius K. Brayne.
“The murderer,”
went on Brown quietly, “hacked off his enemy’s head and
flung the sword far over the wall. But he was too clever to fling the
sword only. He flung the head over the wall also. Then he had only to
clap on another head to the corpse, and (as he insisted on a private
inquest) you all imagined a totally new man.”
“Clap on
another head!” said O’Brien staring. “What other
head? Heads don’t grow on garden bushes, do they?”
“No,”
said Father Brown huskily, and looking at his boots; “there is
only one place where they grow. They grow in the basket of the
guillotine, beside which the chief of police, Aristide Valentin, was
standing not an hour before the murder. Oh, my friends, hear me a
minute more before you tear me in pieces. Valentin is an honest man,
if being mad for an arguable cause is honesty. But did you never see
in that cold, grey eye of his that he is mad! He would do anything,
anything, to break what he calls the superstition of the Cross. He
has fought for it and starved for it, and now he has murdered for it.
Brayne’s crazy millions had hitherto been scattered among so
many sects that they did little to alter the balance of things. But
Valentin heard a whisper that Brayne, like so many scatter-brained
sceptics, was drifting to us; and that was quite a different thing.
Brayne would pour supplies into the impoverished and pugnacious
Church of France; he would support six Nationalist newspapers like
The Guillotine. The battle was already balanced on a point, and the
fanatic took flame at the risk. He resolved to destroy the
millionaire, and he did it as one would expect the greatest of
detectives to commit his only crime. He abstracted the severed head
of Becker on some criminological excuse, and took it home in his
official box. He had that last argument with Brayne, that Lord
Galloway did not hear the end of; that failing, he led him out into
the sealed garden, talked about swordsmanship, used twigs and a sabre
for illustration, and—”
Ivan of the Scar sprang up. “You
lunatic,” he yelled; “you’ll go to my master now,
if I take you by—”
“Why, I was
going there,” said Brown heavily; “I must ask him to
confess, and all that.”
Driving the unhappy Brown before them
like a hostage or sacrifice, they rushed together into the sudden
stillness of Valentin’s study.
The great detective sat at his desk
apparently too occupied to hear their turbulent entrance. They paused
a moment, and then something in the look of that upright and elegant
back made the doctor run forward suddenly. A touch and a glance
showed him that there was a small box of pills at Valentin’s
elbow, and that Valentin was dead in his chair; and on the blind face
of the suicide was more than the pride of Cato.
The Queer Feet
If you meet a member of that select
club, “The Twelve True Fishermen,” entering the Vernon
Hotel for the annual club dinner, you will observe, as he takes off
his overcoat, that his evening coat is green and not black. If
(supposing that you have the star-defying audacity to address such a
being) you ask him why, he will probably answer that he does it to
avoid being mistaken for a waiter. You will then retire crushed. But
you will leave behind you a mystery as yet unsolved and a tale worth
telling.
If (to pursue the same vein of
improbable conjecture) you were to meet a mild, hard-working little
priest, named Father Brown, and were to ask him what he thought was
the most singular luck of his life, he would probably reply that upon
the whole his best stroke was at the Vernon Hotel, where he had
averted a crime and, perhaps, saved a soul, merely by listening to a
few footsteps in a passage. He is perhaps a little proud of this wild
and wonderful guess of his, and it is possible that he might refer to
it. But since it is immeasurably unlikely that you will ever rise
high enough in the social world to find “The Twelve True
Fishermen,” or that you will ever sink low enough among slums
and criminals to find Father Brown, I fear you will never hear the
story at all unless you hear it from me.
The Vernon Hotel at which The Twelve
True Fishermen held their annual dinners was an institution such as
can only exist in an oligarchical society which has almost gone mad
on good manners. It was that topsy-turvy product—an “exclusive”
commercial enterprise. That is, it was a thing which paid not by
attracting people, but actually by turning people away. In the heart
of a plutocracy tradesmen become cunning enough to be more fastidious
than their customers. They positively create difficulties so that
their wealthy and weary clients may spend money and diplomacy in
overcoming them. If there were a fashionable hotel in London which no
man could enter who was under six foot, society would meekly make up
parties of six-foot men to dine in it. If there were an expensive
restaurant which by a mere caprice of its proprietor was only open on
Thursday afternoon, it would be crowded on Thursday afternoon. The
Vernon Hotel stood, as if by accident, in the corner of a square in
Belgravia. It was a small hotel; and a very inconvenient one. But its
very inconveniences were considered as walls protecting a particular
class. One inconvenience, in particular, was held to be of vital
importance: the fact that practically only twenty-four people could
dine in the place at once. The only big dinner table was the
celebrated terrace table, which stood open to the air on a sort of
veranda overlooking one of the most exquisite old gardens in London.
Thus it happened that even the twenty-four seats at this table could
only be enjoyed in warm weather; and this making the enjoyment yet
more difficult made it yet more desired. The existing owner of the
hotel was a Jew named Lever; and he made nearly a million out of it,
by making it difficult to get into. Of course he combined with this
limitation in the scope of his enterprise the most careful polish in
its performance. The wines and cooking were really as good as any in
Europe, and the demeanour of the attendants exactly mirrored the
fixed mood of the English upper class. The proprietor knew all his
waiters like the fingers on his hand; there were only fifteen of them
all told. It was much easier to become a Member of Parliament than to
become a waiter in that hotel. Each waiter was trained in terrible
silence and smoothness, as if he were a gentleman’s servant.
And, indeed, there was generally at least one waiter to every
gentleman who dined.
The club of The Twelve True Fishermen
would not have consented to dine anywhere but in such a place, for it
insisted on a luxurious privacy; and would have been quite upset by
the mere thought that any other club was even dining in the same
building. On the occasion of their annual dinner the Fishermen were
in the habit of exposing all their treasures, as if they were in a
private house, especially the celebrated set of fish knives and forks
which were, as it were, the insignia of the society, each being
exquisitely wrought in silver in the form of a fish, and each loaded
at the hilt with one large pearl. These were always laid out for the
fish course, and the fish course was always the most magnificent in
that magnificent repast. The society had a vast number of ceremonies
and observances, but it had no history and no object; that was where
it was so very aristocratic. You did not have to be anything in order
to be one of the Twelve Fishers; unless you were already a certain
sort of person, you never even heard of them. It had been in
existence twelve years. Its president was Mr. Audley. Its
vice-president was the Duke of Chester.
If I have in any degree conveyed the
atmosphere of this appalling hotel, the reader may feel a natural
wonder as to how I came to know anything about it, and may even
speculate as to how so ordinary a person as my friend Father Brown
came to find himself in that golden galley. As far as that is
concerned, my story is simple, or even vulgar. There is in the world
a very aged rioter and demagogue who breaks into the most refined
retreats with the dreadful information that all men are brothers, and
wherever this leveller went on his pale horse it was Father Brown’s
trade to follow. One of the waiters, an Italian, had been struck down
with a paralytic stroke that afternoon; and his Jewish employer,
marvelling mildly at such superstitions, had consented to send for
the nearest Popish priest. With what the waiter confessed to Father
Brown we are not concerned, for the excellent reason that that cleric
kept it to himself; but apparently it involved him in writing out a
note or statement for the conveying of some message or the righting
of some wrong. Father Brown, therefore, with a meek impudence which
he would have shown equally in Buckingham Palace, asked to be
provided with a room and writing materials. Mr. Lever was torn in
two. He was a kind man, and had also that bad imitation of kindness,
the dislike of any difficulty or scene. At the same time the presence
of one unusual stranger in his hotel that evening was like a speck of
dirt on something just cleaned. There was never any borderland or
anteroom in the Vernon Hotel, no people waiting in the hall, no
customers coming in on chance. There were fifteen waiters. There were
twelve guests. It would be as startling to find a new guest in the
hotel that night as to find a new brother taking breakfast or tea in
one’s own family. Moreover, the priest’s appearance was
second-rate and his clothes muddy; a mere glimpse of him afar off
might precipitate a crisis in the club. Mr. Lever at last hit on a
plan to cover, since he might not obliterate, the disgrace. When you
enter (as you never will) the Vernon Hotel, you pass down a short
passage decorated with a few dingy but important pictures, and come
to the main vestibule and lounge which opens on your right into
passages leading to the public rooms, and on your left to a similar
passage pointing to the kitchens and offices of the hotel.
Immediately on your left hand is the corner of a glass office, which
abuts upon the lounge—a house within a house, so to speak, like
the old hotel bar which probably once occupied its place.
In this office sat the representative of
the proprietor (nobody in this place ever appeared in person if he
could help it), and just beyond the office, on the way to the
servants’ quarters, was the gentlemen’s cloak room, the
last boundary of the gentlemen’s domain. But between the office
and the cloak room was a small private room without other outlet,
sometimes used by the proprietor for delicate and important matters,
such as lending a duke a thousand pounds or declining to lend him
sixpence. It is a mark of the magnificent tolerance of Mr. Lever that
he permitted this holy place to be for about half an hour profaned by
a mere priest, scribbling away on a piece of paper. The story which
Father Brown was writing down was very likely a much better story
than this one, only it will never be known. I can merely state that
it was very nearly as long, and that the last two or three paragraphs
of it were the least exciting and absorbing.
For it was by the time that he had
reached these that the priest began a little to allow his thoughts to
wander and his animal senses, which were commonly keen, to awaken.
The time of darkness and dinner was drawing on; his own forgotten
little room was without a light, and perhaps the gathering gloom, as
occasionally happens, sharpened the sense of sound. As Father Brown
wrote the last and least essential part of his document, he caught
himself writing to the rhythm of a recurrent noise outside, just as
one sometimes thinks to the tune of a railway train. When he became
conscious of the thing he found what it was: only the ordinary patter
of feet passing the door, which in an hotel was no very unlikely
matter. Nevertheless, he stared at the darkened ceiling, and listened
to the sound. After he had listened for a few seconds dreamily, he
got to his feet and listened intently, with his head a little on one
side. Then he sat down again and buried his brow in his hands, now
not merely listening, but listening and thinking also.
The footsteps outside at any given
moment were such as one might hear in any hotel; and yet, taken as a
whole, there was something very strange about them. There were no
other footsteps. It was always a very silent house, for the few
familiar guests went at once to their own apartments, and the
well-trained waiters were told to be almost invisible until they were
wanted. One could not conceive any place where there was less reason
to apprehend anything irregular. But these footsteps were so odd that
one could not decide to call them regular or irregular. Father Brown
followed them with his finger on the edge of the table, like a man
trying to learn a tune on the piano.
First, there came a long rush of rapid
little steps, such as a light man might make in winning a walking
race. At a certain point they stopped and changed to a sort of slow,
swinging stamp, numbering not a quarter of the steps, but occupying
about the same time. The moment the last echoing stamp had died away
would come again the run or ripple of light, hurrying feet, and then
again the thud of the heavier walking. It was certainly the same pair
of boots, partly because (as has been said) there were no other boots
about, and partly because they had a small but unmistakable creak in
them. Father Brown had the kind of head that cannot help asking
questions; and on this apparently trivial question his head almost
split. He had seen men run in order to jump. He had seen men run in
order to slide. But why on earth should a man run in order to walk?
Or, again, why should he walk in order to run? Yet no other
description would cover the antics of this invisible pair of legs.
The man was either walking very fast down one-half of the corridor in
order to walk very slow down the other half; or he was walking very
slow at one end to have the rapture of walking fast at the other.
Neither suggestion seemed to make much sense. His brain was growing
darker and darker, like his room.
Yet, as he began to think steadily, the
very blackness of his cell seemed to make his thoughts more vivid; he
began to see as in a kind of vision the fantastic feet capering along
the corridor in unnatural or symbolic attitudes. Was it a heathen
religious dance? Or some entirely new kind of scientific exercise?
Father Brown began to ask himself with more exactness what the steps
suggested. Taking the slow step first: it certainly was not the step
of the proprietor. Men of his type walk with a rapid waddle, or they
sit still. It could not be any servant or messenger waiting for
directions. It did not sound like it. The poorer orders (in an
oligarchy) sometimes lurch about when they are slightly drunk, but
generally, and especially in such gorgeous scenes, they stand or sit
in constrained attitudes. No; that heavy yet springy step, with a
kind of careless emphasis, not specially noisy, yet not caring what
noise it made, belonged to only one of the animals of this earth. It
was a gentleman of western Europe, and probably one who had never
worked for his living.
Just as he came to this solid certainty,
the step changed to the quicker one, and ran past the door as
feverishly as a rat. The listener remarked that though this step was
much swifter it was also much more noiseless, almost as if the man
were walking on tiptoe. Yet it was not associated in his mind with
secrecy, but with something else—something that he could not
remember. He was maddened by one of those half-memories that make a
man feel half-witted. Surely he had heard that strange, swift walking
somewhere. Suddenly he sprang to his feet with a new idea in his
head, and walked to the door. His room had no direct outlet on the
passage, but let on one side into the glass office, and on the other
into the cloak room beyond. He tried the door into the office, and
found it locked. Then he looked at the window, now a square pane full
of purple cloud cleft by livid sunset, and for an instant he smelt
evil as a dog smells rats.
The rational part of him (whether the
wiser or not) regained its supremacy. He remembered that the
proprietor had told him that he should lock the door, and would come
later to release him. He told himself that twenty things he had not
thought of might explain the eccentric sounds outside; he reminded
himself that there was just enough light left to finish his own
proper work. Bringing his paper to the window so as to catch the last
stormy evening light, he resolutely plunged once more into the almost
completed record. He had written for about twenty minutes, bending
closer and closer to his paper in the lessening light; then suddenly
he sat upright. He had heard the strange feet once more.
This time they had a third oddity.
Previously the unknown man had walked, with levity indeed and
lightning quickness, but he had walked. This time he ran. One could
hear the swift, soft, bounding steps coming along the corridor, like
the pads of a fleeing and leaping panther. Whoever was coming was a
very strong, active man, in still yet tearing excitement. Yet, when
the sound had swept up to the office like a sort of whispering
whirlwind, it suddenly changed again to the old slow, swaggering
stamp.
Father Brown flung down his paper, and,
knowing the office door to be locked, went at once into the cloak
room on the other side. The attendant of this place was temporarily
absent, probably because the only guests were at dinner and his
office was a sinecure. After groping through a grey forest of
overcoats, he found that the dim cloak room opened on the lighted
corridor in the form of a sort of counter or half-door, like most of
the counters across which we have all handed umbrellas and received
tickets. There was a light immediately above the semicircular arch of
this opening. It threw little illumination on Father Brown himself,
who seemed a mere dark outline against the dim sunset window behind
him. But it threw an almost theatrical light on the man who stood
outside the cloak room in the corridor.
He was an elegant man in very plain
evening dress; tall, but with an air of not taking up much room; one
felt that he could have slid along like a shadow where many smaller
men would have been obvious and obstructive. His face, now flung back
in the lamplight, was swarthy and vivacious, the face of a foreigner.
His figure was good, his manners good humoured and confident; a
critic could only say that his black coat was a shade below his
figure and manners, and even bulged and bagged in an odd way. The
moment he caught sight of Brown’s black silhouette against the
sunset, he tossed down a scrap of paper with a number and called out
with amiable authority: “I want my hat and coat, please; I find
I have to go away at once.”
Father Brown took the paper without a
word, and obediently went to look for the coat; it was not the first
menial work he had done in his life. He brought it and laid it on the
counter; meanwhile, the strange gentleman who had been feeling in his
waistcoat pocket, said laughing: “I haven’t got any
silver; you can keep this.” And he threw down half a sovereign,
and caught up his coat.
Father Brown’s figure remained
quite dark and still; but in that instant he had lost his head. His
head was always most valuable when he had lost it. In such moments he
put two and two together and made four million. Often the Catholic
Church (which is wedded to common sense) did not approve of it. Often
he did not approve of it himself. But it was real
inspiration—important at rare crises—when whosoever shall
lose his head the same shall save it.
“I think, sir,”
he said civilly, “that you have some silver in your pocket.”
The tall gentleman stared. “Hang
it,” he cried, “if I choose to give you gold, why should
you complain?”
“Because silver
is sometimes more valuable than gold,” said the priest mildly;
“that is, in large quantities.”
The stranger looked at him curiously.
Then he looked still more curiously up the passage towards the main
entrance. Then he looked back at Brown again, and then he looked very
carefully at the window beyond Brown’s head, still coloured
with the after-glow of the storm. Then he seemed to make up his mind.
He put one hand on the counter, vaulted over as easily as an acrobat
and towered above the priest, putting one tremendous hand upon his
collar.
“Stand still,”
he said, in a hacking whisper. “I don’t want to threaten
you, but—”
“I do want to
threaten you,” said Father Brown, in a voice like a rolling
drum, “I want to threaten you with the worm that dieth not, and
the fire that is not quenched.”
“You’re a
rum sort of cloak-room clerk,” said the other.
“I am a priest,
Monsieur Flambeau,” said Brown, “and I am ready to hear
your confession.”
The other stood gasping for a few
moments, and then staggered back into a chair.
The first two courses of the dinner of
The Twelve True Fishermen had proceeded with placid success. I do not
possess a copy of the menu; and if I did it would not convey anything
to anybody. It was written in a sort of super-French employed by
cooks, but quite unintelligible to Frenchmen. There was a tradition
in the club that the hors d’oeuvres should be various and
manifold to the point of madness. They were taken seriously because
they were avowedly useless extras, like the whole dinner and the
whole club. There was also a tradition that the soup course should be
light and unpretending—a sort of simple and austere vigil for
the feast of fish that was to come. The talk was that strange, slight
talk which governs the British Empire, which governs it in secret,
and yet would scarcely enlighten an ordinary Englishman even if he
could overhear it. Cabinet ministers on both sides were alluded to by
their Christian names with a sort of bored benignity. The Radical
Chancellor of the Exchequer, whom the whole Tory party was supposed
to be cursing for his extortions, was praised for his minor poetry,
or his saddle in the hunting field. The Tory leader, whom all
Liberals were supposed to hate as a tyrant, was discussed and, on the
whole, praised—as a Liberal. It seemed somehow that politicians
were very important. And yet, anything seemed important about them
except their politics. Mr. Audley, the chairman, was an amiable,
elderly man who still wore Gladstone collars; he was a kind of symbol
of all that phantasmal and yet fixed society. He had never done
anything—not even anything wrong. He was not fast; he was not
even particularly rich. He was simply in the thing; and there was an
end of it. No party could ignore him, and if he had wished to be in
the Cabinet he certainly would have been put there. The Duke of
Chester, the vice-president, was a young and rising politician. That
is to say, he was a pleasant youth, with flat, fair hair and a
freckled face, with moderate intelligence and enormous estates. In
public his appearances were always successful and his principle was
simple enough. When he thought of a joke he made it, and was called
brilliant. When he could not think of a joke he said that this was no
time for trifling, and was called able. In private, in a club of his
own class, he was simply quite pleasantly frank and silly, like a
schoolboy. Mr. Audley, never having been in politics, treated them a
little more seriously. Sometimes he even embarrassed the company by
phrases suggesting that there was some difference between a Liberal
and a Conservative. He himself was a Conservative, even in private
life. He had a roll of grey hair over the back of his collar, like
certain old-fashioned statesmen, and seen from behind he looked like
the man the empire wants. Seen from the front he looked like a mild,
self-indulgent bachelor, with rooms in the Albany—which he was.
As has been remarked, there were
twenty-four seats at the terrace table, and only twelve members of
the club. Thus they could occupy the terrace in the most luxurious
style of all, being ranged along the inner side of the table, with no
one opposite, commanding an uninterrupted view of the garden, the
colours of which were still vivid, though evening was closing in
somewhat luridly for the time of year. The chairman sat in the centre
of the line, and the vice-president at the right-hand end of it. When
the twelve guests first trooped into their seats it was the custom
(for some unknown reason) for all the fifteen waiters to stand lining
the wall like troops presenting arms to the king, while the fat
proprietor stood and bowed to the club with radiant surprise, as if
he had never heard of them before. But before the first chink of
knife and fork this army of retainers had vanished, only the one or
two required to collect and distribute the plates darting about in
deathly silence. Mr. Lever, the proprietor, of course had disappeared
in convulsions of courtesy long before. It would be exaggerative,
indeed irreverent, to say that he ever positively appeared again. But
when the important course, the fish course, was being brought on,
there was—how shall I put it?—a vivid shadow, a
projection of his personality, which told that he was hovering near.
The sacred fish course consisted (to the eyes of the vulgar) in a
sort of monstrous pudding, about the size and shape of a wedding
cake, in which some considerable number of interesting fishes had
finally lost the shapes which God had given to them. The Twelve True
Fishermen took up their celebrated fish knives and fish forks, and
approached it as gravely as if every inch of the pudding cost as much
as the silver fork it was eaten with. So it did, for all I know. This
course was dealt with in eager and devouring silence; and it was only
when his plate was nearly empty that the young duke made the ritual
remark: “They can’t do this anywhere but here.”
“Nowhere,”
said Mr. Audley, in a deep bass voice, turning to the speaker and
nodding his venerable head a number of times. “Nowhere,
assuredly, except here. It was represented to me that at the Cafe
Anglais—”
Here he was interrupted and even
agitated for a moment by the removal of his plate, but he recaptured
the valuable thread of his thoughts. “It was represented to me
that the same could be done at the Cafe Anglais. Nothing like it,
sir,” he said, shaking his head ruthlessly, like a hanging
judge. “Nothing like it.”
“Overrated
place,” said a certain Colonel Pound, speaking (by the look of
him) for the first time for some months.
“Oh, I don’t
know,” said the Duke of Chester, who was an optimist, “it’s
jolly good for some things. You can’t beat it at—”
A waiter came swiftly along the room,
and then stopped dead. His stoppage was as silent as his tread; but
all those vague and kindly gentlemen were so used to the utter
smoothness of the unseen machinery which surrounded and supported
their lives, that a waiter doing anything unexpected was a start and
a jar. They felt as you and I would feel if the inanimate world
disobeyed—if a chair ran away from us.
The waiter stood staring a few seconds,
while there deepened on every face at table a strange shame which is
wholly the product of our time. It is the combination of modern
humanitarianism with the horrible modern abyss between the souls of
the rich and poor. A genuine historic aristocrat would have thrown
things at the waiter, beginning with empty bottles, and very probably
ending with money. A genuine democrat would have asked him, with
comrade-like clearness of speech, what the devil he was doing. But
these modern plutocrats could not bear a poor man near to them,
either as a slave or as a friend. That something had gone wrong with
the servants was merely a dull, hot embarrassment. They did not want
to be brutal, and they dreaded the need to be benevolent. They wanted
the thing, whatever it was, to be over. It was over. The waiter,
after standing for some seconds rigid, like a cataleptic, turned
round and ran madly out of the room.
When he reappeared in the room, or
rather in the doorway, it was in company with another waiter, with
whom he whispered and gesticulated with southern fierceness. Then the
first waiter went away, leaving the second waiter, and reappeared
with a third waiter. By the time a fourth waiter had joined this
hurried synod, Mr. Audley felt it necessary to break the silence in
the interests of Tact. He used a very loud cough, instead of a
presidential hammer, and said: “Splendid work young Moocher’s
doing in Burmah. Now, no other nation in the world could have—”
A fifth waiter had sped towards him like
an arrow, and was whispering in his ear: “So sorry. Important!
Might the proprietor speak to you?”
The chairman turned in disorder, and
with a dazed stare saw Mr. Lever coming towards them with his
lumbering quickness. The gait of the good proprietor was indeed his
usual gait, but his face was by no means usual. Generally it was a
genial copper-brown; now it was a sickly yellow.
“You will
pardon me, Mr. Audley,” he said, with asthmatic breathlessness.
“I have great apprehensions. Your fish-plates, they are cleared
away with the knife and fork on them!”
“Well, I hope
so,” said the chairman, with some warmth.
“You see him?”
panted the excited hotel keeper; “you see the waiter who took
them away? You know him?”
“Know the
waiter?” answered Mr. Audley indignantly. “Certainly
not!”
Mr. Lever opened his hands with a
gesture of agony. “I never send him,” he said. “I
know not when or why he come. I send my waiter to take away the
plates, and he find them already away.”
Mr. Audley still looked rather too
bewildered to be really the man the empire wants; none of the company
could say anything except the man of wood—Colonel Pound—who
seemed galvanised into an unnatural life. He rose rigidly from his
chair, leaving all the rest sitting, screwed his eyeglass into his
eye, and spoke in a raucous undertone as if he had half-forgotten how
to speak. “Do you mean,” he said, “that somebody
has stolen our silver fish service?”
The proprietor repeated the open-handed
gesture with even greater helplessness and in a flash all the men at
the table were on their feet.
“Are all your
waiters here?” demanded the colonel, in his low, harsh accent.
“Yes; they’re
all here. I noticed it myself,” cried the young duke, pushing
his boyish face into the inmost ring. “Always count ’em
as I come in; they look so queer standing up against the wall.”
“But surely one
cannot exactly remember,” began Mr. Audley, with heavy
hesitation.
“I remember
exactly, I tell you,” cried the duke excitedly. “There
never have been more than fifteen waiters at this place, and there
were no more than fifteen tonight, I’ll swear; no more and no
less.”
The proprietor turned upon him, quaking
in a kind of palsy of surprise. “You say—you say,”
he stammered, “that you see all my fifteen waiters?”
“As usual,”
assented the duke. “What is the matter with that!”
“Nothing,”
said Lever, with a deepening accent, “only you did not. For one
of zem is dead upstairs.”
There was a shocking stillness for an
instant in that room. It may be (so supernatural is the word death)
that each of those idle men looked for a second at his soul, and saw
it as a small dried pea. One of them—the duke, I think—even
said with the idiotic kindness of wealth: “Is there anything we
can do?”
“He has had a
priest,” said the Jew, not untouched.
Then, as to the clang of doom, they
awoke to their own position. For a few weird seconds they had really
felt as if the fifteenth waiter might be the ghost of the dead man
upstairs. They had been dumb under that oppression, for ghosts were
to them an embarrassment, like beggars. But the remembrance of the
silver broke the spell of the miraculous; broke it abruptly and with
a brutal reaction. The colonel flung over his chair and strode to the
door. “If there was a fifteenth man here, friends,” he
said, “that fifteenth fellow was a thief. Down at once to the
front and back doors and secure everything; then we’ll talk.
The twenty-four pearls of the club are worth recovering.”
Mr. Audley seemed at first to hesitate
about whether it was gentlemanly to be in such a hurry about
anything; but, seeing the duke dash down the stairs with youthful
energy, he followed with a more mature motion.
At the same instant a sixth waiter ran
into the room, and declared that he had found the pile of fish plates
on a sideboard, with no trace of the silver.
The crowd of diners and attendants that
tumbled helter-skelter down the passages divided into two groups.
Most of the Fishermen followed the proprietor to the front room to
demand news of any exit. Colonel Pound, with the chairman, the
vice-president, and one or two others darted down the corridor
leading to the servants’ quarters, as the more likely line of
escape. As they did so they passed the dim alcove or cavern of the
cloak room, and saw a short, black-coated figure, presumably an
attendant, standing a little way back in the shadow of it.
“Hallo, there!”
called out the duke. “Have you seen anyone pass?”
The short figure did not answer the
question directly, but merely said: “Perhaps I have got what
you are looking for, gentlemen.”
They paused, wavering and wondering,
while he quietly went to the back of the cloak room, and came back
with both hands full of shining silver, which he laid out on the
counter as calmly as a salesman. It took the form of a dozen quaintly
shaped forks and knives.
“You—you—”
began the colonel, quite thrown off his balance at last. Then he
peered into the dim little room and saw two things: first, that the
short, black-clad man was dressed like a clergyman; and, second, that
the window of the room behind him was burst, as if someone had passed
violently through. “Valuable things to deposit in a cloak room,
aren’t they?” remarked the clergyman, with cheerful
composure.
“Did—did
you steal those things?” stammered Mr. Audley, with staring
eyes.
“If I did,”
said the cleric pleasantly, “at least I am bringing them back
again.”
“But you
didn’t,” said Colonel Pound, still staring at the broken
window.
“To make a
clean breast of it, I didn’t,” said the other, with some
humour. And he seated himself quite gravely on a stool. “But
you know who did,” said the, colonel.
“I don’t
know his real name,” said the priest placidly, “but I
know something of his fighting weight, and a great deal about his
spiritual difficulties. I formed the physical estimate when he was
trying to throttle me, and the moral estimate when he repented.”
“Oh, I
say—repented!” cried young Chester, with a sort of crow
of laughter.
Father Brown got to his feet, putting
his hands behind him. “Odd, isn’t it,” he said,
“that a thief and a vagabond should repent, when so many who
are rich and secure remain hard and frivolous, and without fruit for
God or man? But there, if you will excuse me, you trespass a little
upon my province. If you doubt the penitence as a practical fact,
there are your knives and forks. You are The Twelve True Fishers, and
there are all your silver fish. But He has made me a fisher of men.”
“Did you catch
this man?” asked the colonel, frowning.
Father Brown looked him full in his
frowning face. “Yes,” he said, “I caught him, with
an unseen hook and an invisible line which is long enough to let him
wander to the ends of the world, and still to bring him back with a
twitch upon the thread.”
There was a long silence. All the other
men present drifted away to carry the recovered silver to their
comrades, or to consult the proprietor about the queer condition of
affairs. But the grim-faced colonel still sat sideways on the
counter, swinging his long, lank legs and biting his dark moustache.
At last he said quietly to the priest:
“He must have been a clever fellow, but I think I know a
cleverer.”
“He was a
clever fellow,” answered the other, “but I am not quite
sure of what other you mean.”
“I mean you,”
said the colonel, with a short laugh. “I don’t want to
get the fellow jailed; make yourself easy about that. But I’d
give a good many silver forks to know exactly how you fell into this
affair, and how you got the stuff out of him. I reckon you’re
the most up-to-date devil of the present company.”
Father Brown seemed rather to like the
saturnine candour of the soldier. “Well,” he said,
smiling, “I mustn’t tell you anything of the man’s
identity, or his own story, of course; but there’s no
particular reason why I shouldn’t tell you of the mere outside
facts which I found out for myself.”
He hopped over the barrier with
unexpected activity, and sat beside Colonel Pound, kicking his short
legs like a little boy on a gate. He began to tell the story as
easily as if he were telling it to an old friend by a Christmas fire.
“You see,
colonel,” he said, “I was shut up in that small room
there doing some writing, when I heard a pair of feet in this passage
doing a dance that was as queer as the dance of death. First came
quick, funny little steps, like a man walking on tiptoe for a wager;
then came slow, careless, creaking steps, as of a big man walking
about with a cigar. But they were both made by the same feet, I
swear, and they came in rotation; first the run and then the walk,
and then the run again. I wondered at first idly and then wildly why
a man should act these two parts at once. One walk I knew; it was
just like yours, colonel. It was the walk of a well-fed gentleman
waiting for something, who strolls about rather because he is
physically alert than because he is mentally impatient. I knew that I
knew the other walk, too, but I could not remember what it was. What
wild creature had I met on my travels that tore along on tiptoe in
that extraordinary style? Then I heard a clink of plates somewhere;
and the answer stood up as plain as St. Peter’s. It was the
walk of a waiter—that walk with the body slanted forward, the
eyes looking down, the ball of the toe spurning away the ground, the
coat tails and napkin flying. Then I thought for a minute and a half
more. And I believe I saw the manner of the crime, as clearly as if I
were going to commit it.”
Colonel Pound looked at him keenly, but
the speaker’s mild grey eyes were fixed upon the ceiling with
almost empty wistfulness.
“A crime,”
he said slowly, “is like any other work of art. Don’t
look surprised; crimes are by no means the only works of art that
come from an infernal workshop. But every work of art, divine or
diabolic, has one indispensable mark—I mean, that the centre of
it is simple, however much the fulfilment may be complicated. Thus,
in Hamlet, let us say, the grotesqueness of the grave-digger, the
flowers of the mad girl, the fantastic finery of Osric, the pallor of
the ghost and the grin of the skull are all oddities in a sort of
tangled wreath round one plain tragic figure of a man in black. Well,
this also,” he said, getting slowly down from his seat with a
smile, “this also is the plain tragedy of a man in black. Yes,”
he went on, seeing the colonel look up in some wonder, “the
whole of this tale turns on a black coat. In this, as in Hamlet,
there are the rococo excrescences—yourselves, let us say. There
is the dead waiter, who was there when he could not be there. There
is the invisible hand that swept your table clear of silver and
melted into air. But every clever crime is founded ultimately on some
one quite simple fact—some fact that is not itself mysterious.
The mystification comes in covering it up, in leading men’s
thoughts away from it. This large and subtle and (in the ordinary
course) most profitable crime, was built on the plain fact that a
gentleman’s evening dress is the same as a waiter’s. All
the rest was acting, and thundering good acting, too.”
“Still,”
said the colonel, getting up and frowning at his boots, “I am
not sure that I understand.”
“Colonel,”
said Father Brown, “I tell you that this archangel of impudence
who stole your forks walked up and down this passage twenty times in
the blaze of all the lamps, in the glare of all the eyes. He did not
go and hide in dim corners where suspicion might have searched for
him. He kept constantly on the move in the lighted corridors, and
everywhere that he went he seemed to be there by right. Don’t
ask me what he was like; you have seen him yourself six or seven
times tonight. You were waiting with all the other grand people in
the reception room at the end of the passage there, with the terrace
just beyond. Whenever he came among you gentlemen, he came in the
lightning style of a waiter, with bent head, flapping napkin and
flying feet. He shot out on to the terrace, did something to the
table cloth, and shot back again towards the office and the waiters’
quarters. By the time he had come under the eye of the office clerk
and the waiters he had become another man in every inch of his body,
in every instinctive gesture. He strolled among the servants with the
absent-minded insolence which they have all seen in their patrons. It
was no new thing to them that a swell from the dinner party should
pace all parts of the house like an animal at the Zoo; they know that
nothing marks the Smart Set more than a habit of walking where one
chooses. When he was magnificently weary of walking down that
particular passage he would wheel round and pace back past the
office; in the shadow of the arch just beyond he was altered as by a
blast of magic, and went hurrying forward again among the Twelve
Fishermen, an obsequious attendant. Why should the gentlemen look at
a chance waiter? Why should the waiters suspect a first-rate walking
gentleman? Once or twice he played the coolest tricks. In the
proprietor’s private quarters he called out breezily for a
syphon of soda water, saying he was thirsty. He said genially that he
would carry it himself, and he did; he carried it quickly and
correctly through the thick of you, a waiter with an obvious errand.
Of course, it could not have been kept up long, but it only had to be
kept up till the end of the fish course.
“His worst
moment was when the waiters stood in a row; but even then he
contrived to lean against the wall just round the corner in such a
way that for that important instant the waiters thought him a
gentleman, while the gentlemen thought him a waiter. The rest went
like winking. If any waiter caught him away from the table, that
waiter caught a languid aristocrat. He had only to time himself two
minutes before the fish was cleared, become a swift servant, and
clear it himself. He put the plates down on a sideboard, stuffed the
silver in his breast pocket, giving it a bulgy look, and ran like a
hare (I heard him coming) till he came to the cloak room. There he
had only to be a plutocrat again—a plutocrat called away
suddenly on business. He had only to give his ticket to the
cloak-room attendant, and go out again elegantly as he had come in.
Only—only I happened to be the cloak-room attendant.”
“What did you
do to him?” cried the colonel, with unusual intensity. “What
did he tell you?”
“I beg your
pardon,” said the priest immovably, “that is where the
story ends.”
“And the
interesting story begins,” muttered Pound. “I think I
understand his professional trick. But I don’t seem to have got
hold of yours.”
“I must be
going,” said Father Brown.
They walked together along the passage
to the entrance hall, where they saw the fresh, freckled face of the
Duke of Chester, who was bounding buoyantly along towards them.
“Come along,
Pound,” he cried breathlessly. “I’ve been looking
for you everywhere. The dinner’s going again in spanking style,
and old Audley has got to make a speech in honour of the forks being
saved. We want to start some new ceremony, don’t you know, to
commemorate the occasion. I say, you really got the goods back, what
do you suggest?”
“Why,”
said the colonel, eyeing him with a certain sardonic approval, “I
should suggest that henceforward we wear green coats, instead of
black. One never knows what mistakes may arise when one looks so like
a waiter.”
“Oh, hang it
all!” said the young man, “a gentleman never looks like a
waiter.”
“Nor a waiter
like a gentleman, I suppose,” said Colonel Pound, with the same
lowering laughter on his face. “Reverend sir, your friend must
have been very smart to act the gentleman.”
Father Brown buttoned up his commonplace
overcoat to the neck, for the night was stormy, and took his
commonplace umbrella from the stand.
“Yes,” he
said; “it must be very hard work to be a gentleman; but, do you
know, I have sometimes thought that it may be almost as laborious to
be a waiter.”
And saying “Good evening,”
he pushed open the heavy doors of that palace of pleasures. The
golden gates closed behind him, and he went at a brisk walk through
the damp, dark streets in search of a penny omnibus.
The Flying Stars
“The most
beautiful crime I ever committed,” Flambeau would say in his
highly moral old age, “was also, by a singular coincidence, my
last. It was committed at Christmas. As an artist I had always
attempted to provide crimes suitable to the special season or
landscapes in which I found myself, choosing this or that terrace or
garden for a catastrophe, as if for a statuary group. Thus squires
should be swindled in long rooms panelled with oak; while Jews, on
the other hand, should rather find themselves unexpectedly penniless
among the lights and screens of the Cafe Riche. Thus, in England, if
I wished to relieve a dean of his riches (which is not so easy as you
might suppose), I wished to frame him, if I make myself clear, in the
green lawns and grey towers of some cathedral town. Similarly, in
France, when I had got money out of a rich and wicked peasant (which
is almost impossible), it gratified me to get his indignant head
relieved against a grey line of clipped poplars, and those solemn
plains of Gaul over which broods the mighty spirit of Millet.
“Well, my last
crime was a Christmas crime, a cheery, cosy, English middle-class
crime; a crime of Charles Dickens. I did it in a good old
middle-class house near Putney, a house with a crescent of carriage
drive, a house with a stable by the side of it, a house with the name
on the two outer gates, a house with a monkey tree. Enough, you know
the species. I really think my imitation of Dickens’s style was
dexterous and literary. It seems almost a pity I repented the same
evening.”
Flambeau would then proceed to tell the
story from the inside; and even from the inside it was odd. Seen from
the outside it was perfectly incomprehensible, and it is from the
outside that the stranger must study it. From this standpoint the
drama may be said to have begun when the front doors of the house
with the stable opened on the garden with the monkey tree, and a
young girl came out with bread to feed the birds on the afternoon of
Boxing Day. She had a pretty face, with brave brown eyes; but her
figure was beyond conjecture, for she was so wrapped up in brown furs
that it was hard to say which was hair and which was fur. But for the
attractive face she might have been a small toddling bear.
The winter afternoon was reddening
towards evening, and already a ruby light was rolled over the
bloomless beds, filling them, as it were, with the ghosts of the dead
roses. On one side of the house stood the stable, on the other an
alley or cloister of laurels led to the larger garden behind. The
young lady, having scattered bread for the birds (for the fourth or
fifth time that day, because the dog ate it), passed unobtrusively
down the lane of laurels and into a glimmering plantation of
evergreens behind. Here she gave an exclamation of wonder, real or
ritual, and looking up at the high garden wall above her, beheld it
fantastically bestridden by a somewhat fantastic figure.
“Oh, don’t
jump, Mr. Crook,” she called out in some alarm; “it’s
much too high.”
The individual riding the party wall
like an aerial horse was a tall, angular young man, with dark hair
sticking up like a hair brush, intelligent and even distinguished
lineaments, but a sallow and almost alien complexion. This showed the
more plainly because he wore an aggressive red tie, the only part of
his costume of which he seemed to take any care. Perhaps it was a
symbol. He took no notice of the girl’s alarmed adjuration, but
leapt like a grasshopper to the ground beside her, where he might
very well have broken his legs.
“I think I was
meant to be a burglar,” he said placidly, “and I have no
doubt I should have been if I hadn’t happened to be born in
that nice house next door. I can’t see any harm in it, anyhow.”
“How can you
say such things!” she remonstrated.
“Well,”
said the young man, “if you’re born on the wrong side of
the wall, I can’t see that it’s wrong to climb over it.”
“I never know
what you will say or do next,” she said.
“I don’t
often know myself,” replied Mr. Crook; “but then I am on
the right side of the wall now.”
“And which is
the right side of the wall?” asked the young lady, smiling.
“Whichever side
you are on,” said the young man named Crook.
As they went together through the
laurels towards the front garden a motor horn sounded thrice, coming
nearer and nearer, and a car of splendid speed, great elegance, and a
pale green colour swept up to the front doors like a bird and stood
throbbing.
“Hullo, hullo!”
said the young man with the red tie, “here’s somebody
born on the right side, anyhow. I didn’t know, Miss Adams, that
your Santa Claus was so modern as this.”
“Oh, that’s
my godfather, Sir Leopold Fischer. He always comes on Boxing Day.”
Then, after an innocent pause, which
unconsciously betrayed some lack of enthusiasm, Ruby Adams added:
“He is very
kind.”
John Crook, journalist, had heard of
that eminent City magnate; and it was not his fault if the City
magnate had not heard of him; for in certain articles in The Clarion
or The New Age Sir Leopold had been dealt with austerely. But he said
nothing and grimly watched the unloading of the motor-car, which was
rather a long process. A large, neat chauffeur in green got out from
the front, and a small, neat manservant in grey got out from the
back, and between them they deposited Sir Leopold on the doorstep and
began to unpack him, like some very carefully protected parcel. Rugs
enough to stock a bazaar, furs of all the beasts of the forest, and
scarves of all the colours of the rainbow were unwrapped one by one,
till they revealed something resembling the human form; the form of a
friendly, but foreign-looking old gentleman, with a grey goat-like
beard and a beaming smile, who rubbed his big fur gloves together.
Long before this revelation was complete
the two big doors of the porch had opened in the middle, and Colonel
Adams (father of the furry young lady) had come out himself to invite
his eminent guest inside. He was a tall, sunburnt, and very silent
man, who wore a red smoking-cap like a fez, making him look like one
of the English Sirdars or Pashas in Egypt. With him was his
brother-in-law, lately come from Canada, a big and rather boisterous
young gentleman-farmer, with a yellow beard, by name James Blount.
With him also was the more insignificant figure of the priest from
the neighbouring Roman Church; for the colonel’s late wife had
been a Catholic, and the children, as is common in such cases, had
been trained to follow her. Everything seemed undistinguished about
the priest, even down to his name, which was Brown; yet the colonel
had always found something companionable about him, and frequently
asked him to such family gatherings.
In the large entrance hall of the house
there was ample room even for Sir Leopold and the removal of his
wraps. Porch and vestibule, indeed, were unduly large in proportion
to the house, and formed, as it were, a big room with the front door
at one end, and the bottom of the staircase at the other. In front of
the large hall fire, over which hung the colonel’s sword, the
process was completed and the company, including the saturnine Crook,
presented to Sir Leopold Fischer. That venerable financier, however,
still seemed struggling with portions of his well-lined attire, and
at length produced from a very interior tail-coat pocket, a black
oval case which he radiantly explained to be his Christmas present
for his god-daughter. With an unaffected vain-glory that had
something disarming about it he held out the case before them all; it
flew open at a touch and half-blinded them. It was just as if a
crystal fountain had spurted in their eyes. In a nest of orange
velvet lay like three eggs, three white and vivid diamonds that
seemed to set the very air on fire all round them. Fischer stood
beaming benevolently and drinking deep of the astonishment and
ecstasy of the girl, the grim admiration and gruff thanks of the
colonel, the wonder of the whole group.
“I’ll put
’em back now, my dear,” said Fischer, returning the case
to the tails of his coat. “I had to be careful of ’em
coming down. They’re the three great African diamonds called
‘The Flying Stars,’ because they’ve been stolen so
often. All the big criminals are on the track; but even the rough men
about in the streets and hotels could hardly have kept their hands
off them. I might have lost them on the road here. It was quite
possible.”
“Quite natural,
I should say,” growled the man in the red tie. “I
shouldn’t blame ’em if they had taken ’em. When
they ask for bread, and you don’t even give them a stone, I
think they might take the stone for themselves.”
“I won’t
have you talking like that,” cried the girl, who was in a
curious glow. “You’ve only talked like that since you
became a horrid what’s-his-name. You know what I mean. What do
you call a man who wants to embrace the chimney-sweep?”
“A saint,”
said Father Brown.
“I think,”
said Sir Leopold, with a supercilious smile, “that Ruby means a
Socialist.”
“A radical does
not mean a man who lives on radishes,” remarked Crook, with
some impatience; “and a Conservative does not mean a man who
preserves jam. Neither, I assure you, does a Socialist mean a man who
desires a social evening with the chimney-sweep. A Socialist means a
man who wants all the chimneys swept and all the chimney-sweeps paid
for it.”
“But who won’t
allow you,” put in the priest in a low voice, “to own
your own soot.”
Crook looked at him with an eye of
interest and even respect. “Does one want to own soot?”
he asked.
“One might,”
answered Brown, with speculation in his eye. “I’ve heard
that gardeners use it. And I once made six children happy at
Christmas when the conjuror didn’t come, entirely with
soot—applied externally.”
“Oh, splendid,”
cried Ruby. “Oh, I wish you’d do it to this company.”
The boisterous Canadian, Mr. Blount, was
lifting his loud voice in applause, and the astonished financier his
(in some considerable deprecation), when a knock sounded at the
double front doors. The priest opened them, and they showed again the
front garden of evergreens, monkey-tree and all, now gathering gloom
against a gorgeous violet sunset. The scene thus framed was so
coloured and quaint, like a back scene in a play, that they forgot a
moment the insignificant figure standing in the door. He was
dusty-looking and in a frayed coat, evidently a common messenger.
“Any of you gentlemen Mr. Blount?” he asked, and held
forward a letter doubtfully. Mr. Blount started, and stopped in his
shout of assent. Ripping up the envelope with evident astonishment he
read it; his face clouded a little, and then cleared, and he turned
to his brother-in-law and host.
“I’m sick
at being such a nuisance, colonel,” he said, with the cheery
colonial conventions; “but would it upset you if an old
acquaintance called on me here tonight on business? In point of fact
it’s Florian, that famous French acrobat and comic actor; I
knew him years ago out West (he was a French-Canadian by birth), and
he seems to have business for me, though I hardly guess what.”
“Of course, of
course,” replied the colonel carelessly—“My dear
chap, any friend of yours. No doubt he will prove an acquisition.”
“He’ll
black his face, if that’s what you mean,” cried Blount,
laughing. “I don’t doubt he’d black everyone else’s
eyes. I don’t care; I’m not refined. I like the jolly old
pantomime where a man sits on his top hat.”
“Not on mine,
please,” said Sir Leopold Fischer, with dignity.
“Well, well,”
observed Crook, airily, “don’t let’s quarrel. There
are lower jokes than sitting on a top hat.”
Dislike of the red-tied youth, born of
his predatory opinions and evident intimacy with the pretty godchild,
led Fischer to say, in his most sarcastic, magisterial manner: “No
doubt you have found something much lower than sitting on a top hat.
What is it, pray?”
“Letting a top
hat sit on you, for instance,” said the Socialist.
“Now, now,
now,” cried the Canadian farmer with his barbarian benevolence,
“don’t let’s spoil a jolly evening. What I say is,
let’s do something for the company tonight. Not blacking faces
or sitting on hats, if you don’t like those—but something
of the sort. Why couldn’t we have a proper old English
pantomime—clown, columbine, and so on. I saw one when I left
England at twelve years old, and it’s blazed in my brain like a
bonfire ever since. I came back to the old country only last year,
and I find the thing’s extinct. Nothing but a lot of snivelling
fairy plays. I want a hot poker and a policeman made into sausages,
and they give me princesses moralising by moonlight, Blue Birds, or
something. Blue Beard’s more in my line, and him I like best
when he turned into the pantaloon.”
“I’m all
for making a policeman into sausages,” said John Crook. “It’s
a better definition of Socialism than some recently given. But surely
the get-up would be too big a business.”
“Not a scrap,”
cried Blount, quite carried away. “A harlequinade’s the
quickest thing we can do, for two reasons. First, one can gag to any
degree; and, second, all the objects are household things—tables
and towel-horses and washing baskets, and things like that.”
“That’s
true,” admitted Crook, nodding eagerly and walking about. “But
I’m afraid I can’t have my policeman’s uniform?
Haven’t killed a policeman lately.”
Blount frowned thoughtfully a space, and
then smote his thigh. “Yes, we can!” he cried. “I’ve
got Florian’s address here, and he knows every costumier in
London. I’ll phone him to bring a police dress when he comes.”
And he went bounding away to the telephone.
“Oh, it’s
glorious, godfather,” cried Ruby, almost dancing. “I’ll
be columbine and you shall be pantaloon.”
The millionaire held himself stiff with
a sort of heathen solemnity. “I think, my dear,” he said,
“you must get someone else for pantaloon.”
“I will be
pantaloon, if you like,” said Colonel Adams, taking his cigar
out of his mouth, and speaking for the first and last time.
“You ought to
have a statue,” cried the Canadian, as he came back, radiant,
from the telephone. “There, we are all fitted. Mr. Crook shall
be clown; he’s a journalist and knows all the oldest jokes. I
can be harlequin, that only wants long legs and jumping about. My
friend Florian ‘phones he’s bringing the police costume;
he’s changing on the way. We can act it in this very hall, the
audience sitting on those broad stairs opposite, one row above
another. These front doors can be the back scene, either open or
shut. Shut, you see an English interior. Open, a moonlit garden. It
all goes by magic.” And snatching a chance piece of billiard
chalk from his pocket, he ran it across the hall floor, half-way
between the front door and the staircase, to mark the line of the
footlights.
How even such a banquet of bosh was got
ready in the time remained a riddle. But they went at it with that
mixture of recklessness and industry that lives when youth is in a
house; and youth was in that house that night, though not all may
have isolated the two faces and hearts from which it flamed. As
always happens, the invention grew wilder and wilder through the very
tameness of the bourgeois conventions from which it had to create.
The columbine looked charming in an outstanding skirt that strangely
resembled the large lamp-shade in the drawing-room. The clown and
pantaloon made themselves white with flour from the cook, and red
with rouge from some other domestic, who remained (like all true
Christian benefactors) anonymous. The harlequin, already clad in
silver paper out of cigar boxes, was, with difficulty, prevented from
smashing the old Victorian lustre chandeliers, that he might cover
himself with resplendent crystals. In fact he would certainly have
done so, had not Ruby unearthed some old pantomime paste jewels she
had worn at a fancy dress party as the Queen of Diamonds. Indeed, her
uncle, James Blount, was getting almost out of hand in his
excitement; he was like a schoolboy. He put a paper donkey’s
head unexpectedly on Father Brown, who bore it patiently, and even
found some private manner of moving his ears. He even essayed to put
the paper donkey’s tail to the coat-tails of Sir Leopold
Fischer. This, however, was frowned down. “Uncle is too
absurd,” cried Ruby to Crook, round whose shoulders she had
seriously placed a string of sausages. “Why is he so wild?”
“He is
harlequin to your columbine,” said Crook. “I am only the
clown who makes the old jokes.”
“I wish you
were the harlequin,” she said, and left the string of sausages
swinging.
Father Brown, though he knew every
detail done behind the scenes, and had even evoked applause by his
transformation of a pillow into a pantomime baby, went round to the
front and sat among the audience with all the solemn expectation of a
child at his first matinee. The spectators were few, relations, one
or two local friends, and the servants; Sir Leopold sat in the front
seat, his full and still fur-collared figure largely obscuring the
view of the little cleric behind him; but it has never been settled
by artistic authorities whether the cleric lost much. The pantomime
was utterly chaotic, yet not contemptible; there ran through it a
rage of improvisation which came chiefly from Crook the clown.
Commonly he was a clever man, and he was inspired tonight with a wild
omniscience, a folly wiser than the world, that which comes to a
young man who has seen for an instant a particular expression on a
particular face. He was supposed to be the clown, but he was really
almost everything else, the author (so far as there was an author),
the prompter, the scene-painter, the scene-shifter, and, above all,
the orchestra. At abrupt intervals in the outrageous performance he
would hurl himself in full costume at the piano and bang out some
popular music equally absurd and appropriate.
The climax of this, as of all else, was
the moment when the two front doors at the back of the scene flew
open, showing the lovely moonlit garden, but showing more prominently
the famous professional guest; the great Florian, dressed up as a
policeman. The clown at the piano played the constabulary chorus in
the “Pirates of Penzance,” but it was drowned in the
deafening applause, for every gesture of the great comic actor was an
admirable though restrained version of the carriage and manner of the
police. The harlequin leapt upon him and hit him over the helmet; the
pianist playing “Where did you get that hat?” he faced
about in admirably simulated astonishment, and then the leaping
harlequin hit him again (the pianist suggesting a few bars of “Then
we had another one”). Then the harlequin rushed right into the
arms of the policeman and fell on top of him, amid a roar of
applause. Then it was that the strange actor gave that celebrated
imitation of a dead man, of which the fame still lingers round
Putney. It was almost impossible to believe that a living person
could appear so limp.
The athletic harlequin swung him about
like a sack or twisted or tossed him like an Indian club; all the
time to the most maddeningly ludicrous tunes from the piano. When the
harlequin heaved the comic constable heavily off the floor the clown
played “I arise from dreams of thee.” When he shuffled
him across his back, “With my bundle on my shoulder,” and
when the harlequin finally let fall the policeman with a most
convincing thud, the lunatic at the instrument struck into a jingling
measure with some words which are still believed to have been, “I
sent a letter to my love and on the way I dropped it.”
At about this limit of mental anarchy
Father Brown’s view was obscured altogether; for the City
magnate in front of him rose to his full height and thrust his hands
savagely into all his pockets. Then he sat down nervously, still
fumbling, and then stood up again. For an instant it seemed seriously
likely that he would stride across the footlights; then he turned a
glare at the clown playing the piano; and then he burst in silence
out of the room.
The priest had only watched for a few
more minutes the absurd but not inelegant dance of the amateur
harlequin over his splendidly unconscious foe. With real though rude
art, the harlequin danced slowly backwards out of the door into the
garden, which was full of moonlight and stillness. The vamped dress
of silver paper and paste, which had been too glaring in the
footlights, looked more and more magical and silvery as it danced
away under a brilliant moon. The audience was closing in with a
cataract of applause, when Brown felt his arm abruptly touched, and
he was asked in a whisper to come into the colonel’s study.
He followed his summoner with increasing
doubt, which was not dispelled by a solemn comicality in the scene of
the study. There sat Colonel Adams, still unaffectedly dressed as a
pantaloon, with the knobbed whalebone nodding above his brow, but
with his poor old eyes sad enough to have sobered a Saturnalia. Sir
Leopold Fischer was leaning against the mantelpiece and heaving with
all the importance of panic.
“This is a very
painful matter, Father Brown,” said Adams. “The truth is,
those diamonds we all saw this afternoon seem to have vanished from
my friend’s tail-coat pocket. And as you—”
“As I,”
supplemented Father Brown, with a broad grin, “was sitting just
behind him—”
“Nothing of the
sort shall be suggested,” said Colonel Adams, with a firm look
at Fischer, which rather implied that some such thing had been
suggested. “I only ask you to give me the assistance that any
gentleman might give.”
“Which is
turning out his pockets,” said Father Brown, and proceeded to
do so, displaying seven and sixpence, a return ticket, a small silver
crucifix, a small breviary, and a stick of chocolate.
The colonel looked at him long, and then
said, “Do you know, I should like to see the inside of your
head more than the inside of your pockets. My daughter is one of your
people, I know; well, she has lately—” and he stopped.
“She has
lately,” cried out old Fischer, “opened her father’s
house to a cut-throat Socialist, who says openly he would steal
anything from a richer man. This is the end of it. Here is the richer
man—and none the richer.”
“If you want
the inside of my head you can have it,” said Brown rather
wearily. “What it’s worth you can say afterwards. But the
first thing I find in that disused pocket is this: that men who mean
to steal diamonds don’t talk Socialism. They are more likely,”
he added demurely, “to denounce it.”
Both the others shifted sharply and the
priest went on:
“You see, we
know these people, more or less. That Socialist would no more steal a
diamond than a Pyramid. We ought to look at once to the one man we
don’t know. The fellow acting the policeman—Florian.
Where is he exactly at this minute, I wonder.”
The pantaloon sprang erect and strode
out of the room. An interlude ensued, during which the millionaire
stared at the priest, and the priest at his breviary; then the
pantaloon returned and said, with staccato gravity, “The
policeman is still lying on the stage. The curtain has gone up and
down six times; he is still lying there.”
Father Brown dropped his book and stood
staring with a look of blank mental ruin. Very slowly a light began
to creep in his grey eyes, and then he made the scarcely obvious
answer.
“Please forgive
me, colonel, but when did your wife die?”
“Wife!”
replied the staring soldier, “she died this year two months.
Her brother James arrived just a week too late to see her.”
The little priest bounded like a rabbit
shot. “Come on!” he cried in quite unusual excitement.
“Come on! We’ve got to go and look at that policeman!”
They rushed on to the now curtained
stage, breaking rudely past the columbine and clown (who seemed
whispering quite contentedly), and Father Brown bent over the
prostrate comic policeman.
“Chloroform,”
he said as he rose; “I only guessed it just now.”
There was a startled stillness, and then
the colonel said slowly, “Please say seriously what all this
means.”
Father Brown suddenly shouted with
laughter, then stopped, and only struggled with it for instants
during the rest of his speech. “Gentlemen,” he gasped,
“there’s not much time to talk. I must run after the
criminal. But this great French actor who played the policeman—this
clever corpse the harlequin waltzed with and dandled and threw
about—he was—” His voice again failed him, and he
turned his back to run.
“He was?”
called Fischer inquiringly.
“A real
policeman,” said Father Brown, and ran away into the dark.
There were hollows and bowers at the
extreme end of that leafy garden, in which the laurels and other
immortal shrubs showed against sapphire sky and silver moon, even in
that midwinter, warm colours as of the south. The green gaiety of the
waving laurels, the rich purple indigo of the night, the moon like a
monstrous crystal, make an almost irresponsible romantic picture; and
among the top branches of the garden trees a strange figure is
climbing, who looks not so much romantic as impossible. He sparkles
from head to heel, as if clad in ten million moons; the real moon
catches him at every movement and sets a new inch of him on fire. But
he swings, flashing and successful, from the short tree in this
garden to the tall, rambling tree in the other, and only stops there
because a shade has slid under the smaller tree and has unmistakably
called up to him.
“Well,
Flambeau,” says the voice, “you really look like a Flying
Star; but that always means a Falling Star at last.”
The silver, sparkling figure above seems
to lean forward in the laurels and, confident of escape, listens to
the little figure below.
“You never did
anything better, Flambeau. It was clever to come from Canada (with a
Paris ticket, I suppose) just a week after Mrs. Adams died, when no
one was in a mood to ask questions. It was cleverer to have marked
down the Flying Stars and the very day of Fischer’s coming. But
there’s no cleverness, but mere genius, in what followed.
Stealing the stones, I suppose, was nothing to you. You could have
done it by sleight of hand in a hundred other ways besides that
pretence of putting a paper donkey’s tail to Fischer’s
coat. But in the rest you eclipsed yourself.”
The silvery figure among the green
leaves seems to linger as if hypnotised, though his escape is easy
behind him; he is staring at the man below.
“Oh, yes,”
says the man below, “I know all about it. I know you not only
forced the pantomime, but put it to a double use. You were going to
steal the stones quietly; news came by an accomplice that you were
already suspected, and a capable police officer was coming to rout
you up that very night. A common thief would have been thankful for
the warning and fled; but you are a poet. You already had the clever
notion of hiding the jewels in a blaze of false stage jewellery. Now,
you saw that if the dress were a harlequin’s the appearance of
a policeman would be quite in keeping. The worthy officer started
from Putney police station to find you, and walked into the queerest
trap ever set in this world. When the front door opened he walked
straight on to the stage of a Christmas pantomime, where he could be
kicked, clubbed, stunned and drugged by the dancing harlequin, amid
roars of laughter from all the most respectable people in Putney. Oh,
you will never do anything better. And now, by the way, you might
give me back those diamonds.”
The green branch on which the glittering
figure swung, rustled as if in astonishment; but the voice went on:
“I want you to
give them back, Flambeau, and I want you to give up this life. There
is still youth and honour and humour in you; don’t fancy they
will last in that trade. Men may keep a sort of level of good, but no
man has ever been able to keep on one level of evil. That road goes
down and down. The kind man drinks and turns cruel; the frank man
kills and lies about it. Many a man I’ve known started like you
to be an honest outlaw, a merry robber of the rich, and ended stamped
into slime. Maurice Blum started out as an anarchist of principle, a
father of the poor; he ended a greasy spy and tale-bearer that both
sides used and despised. Harry Burke started his free money movement
sincerely enough; now he’s sponging on a half-starved sister
for endless brandies and sodas. Lord Amber went into wild society in
a sort of chivalry; now he’s paying blackmail to the lowest
vultures in London. Captain Barillon was the great gentleman-apache
before your time; he died in a madhouse, screaming with fear of the
“narks” and receivers that had betrayed him and hunted
him down. I know the woods look very free behind you, Flambeau; I
know that in a flash you could melt into them like a monkey. But some
day you will be an old grey monkey, Flambeau. You will sit up in your
free forest cold at heart and close to death, and the tree-tops will
be very bare.”
Everything continued still, as if the
small man below held the other in the tree in some long invisible
leash; and he went on:
“Your downward
steps have begun. You used to boast of doing nothing mean, but you
are doing something mean tonight. You are leaving suspicion on an
honest boy with a good deal against him already; you are separating
him from the woman he loves and who loves him. But you will do meaner
things than that before you die.”
Three flashing diamonds fell from the
tree to the turf. The small man stooped to pick them up, and when he
looked up again the green cage of the tree was emptied of its silver
bird.
The restoration of the gems
(accidentally picked up by Father Brown, of all people) ended the
evening in uproarious triumph; and Sir Leopold, in his height of good
humour, even told the priest that though he himself had broader
views, he could respect those whose creed required them to be
cloistered and ignorant of this world.
The Invisible Man
In the cool blue twilight of two steep
streets in Camden Town, the shop at the corner, a confectioner’s,
glowed like the butt of a cigar. One should rather say, perhaps, like
the butt of a firework, for the light was of many colours and some
complexity, broken up by many mirrors and dancing on many gilt and
gaily-coloured cakes and sweetmeats. Against this one fiery glass
were glued the noses of many gutter-snipes, for the chocolates were
all wrapped in those red and gold and green metallic colours which
are almost better than chocolate itself; and the huge white
wedding-cake in the window was somehow at once remote and satisfying,
just as if the whole North Pole were good to eat. Such rainbow
provocations could naturally collect the youth of the neighbourhood
up to the ages of ten or twelve. But this corner was also attractive
to youth at a later stage; and a young man, not less than
twenty-four, was staring into the same shop window. To him, also, the
shop was of fiery charm, but this attraction was not wholly to be
explained by chocolates; which, however, he was far from despising.
He was a tall, burly, red-haired young
man, with a resolute face but a listless manner. He carried under his
arm a flat, grey portfolio of black-and-white sketches, which he had
sold with more or less success to publishers ever since his uncle
(who was an admiral) had disinherited him for Socialism, because of a
lecture which he had delivered against that economic theory. His name
was John Turnbull Angus.
Entering at last, he walked through the
confectioner’s shop to the back room, which was a sort of
pastry-cook restaurant, merely raising his hat to the young lady who
was serving there. She was a dark, elegant, alert girl in black, with
a high colour and very quick, dark eyes; and after the ordinary
interval she followed him into the inner room to take his order.
His order was evidently a usual one. “I
want, please,” he said with precision, “one halfpenny bun
and a small cup of black coffee.” An instant before the girl
could turn away he added, “Also, I want you to marry me.”
The young lady of the shop stiffened
suddenly and said, “Those are jokes I don’t allow.”
The red-haired young man lifted grey
eyes of an unexpected gravity.
“Really and
truly,” he said, “it’s as serious—as serious
as the halfpenny bun. It is expensive, like the bun; one pays for it.
It is indigestible, like the bun. It hurts.”
The dark young lady had never taken her
dark eyes off him, but seemed to be studying him with almost tragic
exactitude. At the end of her scrutiny she had something like the
shadow of a smile, and she sat down in a chair.
“Don’t
you think,” observed Angus, absently, “that it’s
rather cruel to eat these halfpenny buns? They might grow up into
penny buns. I shall give up these brutal sports when we are married.”
The dark young lady rose from her chair
and walked to the window, evidently in a state of strong but not
unsympathetic cogitation. When at last she swung round again with an
air of resolution she was bewildered to observe that the young man
was carefully laying out on the table various objects from the
shop-window. They included a pyramid of highly coloured sweets,
several plates of sandwiches, and the two decanters containing that
mysterious port and sherry which are peculiar to pastry-cooks. In the
middle of this neat arrangement he had carefully let down the
enormous load of white sugared cake which had been the huge ornament
of the window.
“What on earth
are you doing?” she asked.
“Duty, my dear
Laura,” he began.
“Oh, for the
Lord’s sake, stop a minute,” she cried, “and don’t
talk to me in that way. I mean, what is all that?”
“A ceremonial
meal, Miss Hope.”
“And what is
that?” she asked impatiently, pointing to the mountain of
sugar.
“The
wedding-cake, Mrs. Angus,” he said.
The girl marched to that article,
removed it with some clatter, and put it back in the shop window; she
then returned, and, putting her elegant elbows on the table, regarded
the young man not unfavourably but with considerable exasperation.
“You don’t
give me any time to think,” she said.
“I’m not
such a fool,” he answered; “that’s my Christian
humility.”
She was still looking at him; but she
had grown considerably graver behind the smile.
“Mr. Angus,”
she said steadily, “before there is a minute more of this
nonsense I must tell you something about myself as shortly as I
can.’”
“Delighted,”
replied Angus gravely. “You might tell me something about
myself, too, while you are about it.”
“Oh, do hold
your tongue and listen,” she said. “It’s nothing
that I’m ashamed of, and it isn’t even anything that I’m
specially sorry about. But what would you say if there were something
that is no business of mine and yet is my nightmare?”
“In that case,”
said the man seriously, “I should suggest that you bring back
the cake.”
“Well, you must
listen to the story first,” said Laura, persistently. “To
begin with, I must tell you that my father owned the inn called the
‘Red Fish’ at Ludbury, and I used to serve people in the
bar.”
“I have often
wondered,” he said, “why there was a kind of a Christian
air about this one confectioner’s shop.”
“Ludbury is a
sleepy, grassy little hole in the Eastern Counties, and the only kind
of people who ever came to the ‘Red Fish’ were occasional
commercial travellers, and for the rest, the most awful people you
can see, only you’ve never seen them. I mean little, loungy
men, who had just enough to live on and had nothing to do but lean
about in bar-rooms and bet on horses, in bad clothes that were just
too good for them. Even these wretched young rotters were not very
common at our house; but there were two of them that were a lot too
common—common in every sort of way. They both lived on money of
their own, and were wearisomely idle and over-dressed. But yet I was
a bit sorry for them, because I half believe they slunk into our
little empty bar because each of them had a slight deformity; the
sort of thing that some yokels laugh at. It wasn’t exactly a
deformity either; it was more an oddity. One of them was a
surprisingly small man, something like a dwarf, or at least like a
jockey. He was not at all jockeyish to look at, though; he had a
round black head and a well-trimmed black beard, bright eyes like a
bird’s; he jingled money in his pockets; he jangled a great
gold watch chain; and he never turned up except dressed just too much
like a gentleman to be one. He was no fool though, though a futile
idler; he was curiously clever at all kinds of things that couldn’t
be the slightest use; a sort of impromptu conjuring; making fifteen
matches set fire to each other like a regular firework; or cutting a
banana or some such thing into a dancing doll. His name was Isidore
Smythe; and I can see him still, with his little dark face, just
coming up to the counter, making a jumping kangaroo out of five
cigars.
“The other
fellow was more silent and more ordinary; but somehow he alarmed me
much more than poor little Smythe. He was very tall and slight, and
light-haired; his nose had a high bridge, and he might almost have
been handsome in a spectral sort of way; but he had one of the most
appalling squints I have ever seen or heard of. When he looked
straight at you, you didn’t know where you were yourself, let
alone what he was looking at. I fancy this sort of disfigurement
embittered the poor chap a little; for while Smythe was ready to show
off his monkey tricks anywhere, James Welkin (that was the squinting
man’s name) never did anything except soak in our bar parlour,
and go for great walks by himself in the flat, grey country all
round. All the same, I think Smythe, too, was a little sensitive
about being so small, though he carried it off more smartly. And so
it was that I was really puzzled, as well as startled, and very
sorry, when they both offered to marry me in the same week.
“Well, I did
what I’ve since thought was perhaps a silly thing. But, after
all, these freaks were my friends in a way; and I had a horror of
their thinking I refused them for the real reason, which was that
they were so impossibly ugly. So I made up some gas of another sort,
about never meaning to marry anyone who hadn’t carved his way
in the world. I said it was a point of principle with me not to live
on money that was just inherited like theirs. Two days after I had
talked in this well-meaning sort of way, the whole trouble began. The
first thing I heard was that both of them had gone off to seek their
fortunes, as if they were in some silly fairy tale.
“Well, I’ve
never seen either of them from that day to this. But I’ve had
two letters from the little man called Smythe, and really they were
rather exciting.”
“Ever heard of
the other man?” asked Angus.
“No, he never
wrote,” said the girl, after an instant’s hesitation.
“Smythe’s first letter was simply to say that he had
started out walking with Welkin to London; but Welkin was such a good
walker that the little man dropped out of it, and took a rest by the
roadside. He happened to be picked up by some travelling show, and,
partly because he was nearly a dwarf, and partly because he was
really a clever little wretch, he got on quite well in the show
business, and was soon sent up to the Aquarium, to do some tricks
that I forget. That was his first letter. His second was much more of
a startler, and I only got it last week.”
The man called Angus emptied his
coffee-cup and regarded her with mild and patient eyes. Her own mouth
took a slight twist of laughter as she resumed, “I suppose
you’ve seen on the hoardings all about this ‘Smythe’s
Silent Service’? Or you must be the only person that hasn’t.
Oh, I don’t know much about it, it’s some clockwork
invention for doing all the housework by machinery. You know the sort
of thing: ‘Press a Button—A Butler who Never Drinks.’
‘Turn a Handle—Ten Housemaids who Never Flirt.’ You
must have seen the advertisements. Well, whatever these machines are,
they are making pots of money; and they are making it all for that
little imp whom I knew down in Ludbury. I can’t help feeling
pleased the poor little chap has fallen on his feet; but the plain
fact is, I’m in terror of his turning up any minute and telling
me he’s carved his way in the world—as he certainly has.”
“And the other
man?” repeated Angus with a sort of obstinate quietude.
Laura Hope got to her feet suddenly. “My
friend,” she said, “I think you are a witch. Yes, you are
quite right. I have not seen a line of the other man’s writing;
and I have no more notion than the dead of what or where he is. But
it is of him that I am frightened. It is he who is all about my path.
It is he who has half driven me mad. Indeed, I think he has driven me
mad; for I have felt him where he could not have been, and I have
heard his voice when he could not have spoken.”
“Well, my
dear,” said the young man, cheerfully, “if he were Satan
himself, he is done for now you have told somebody. One goes mad all
alone, old girl. But when was it you fancied you felt and heard our
squinting friend?”
“I heard James
Welkin laugh as plainly as I hear you speak,” said the girl,
steadily. “There was nobody there, for I stood just outside the
shop at the corner, and could see down both streets at once. I had
forgotten how he laughed, though his laugh was as odd as his squint.
I had not thought of him for nearly a year. But it’s a solemn
truth that a few seconds later the first letter came from his rival.”
“Did you ever
make the spectre speak or squeak, or anything?” asked Angus,
with some interest.
Laura suddenly shuddered, and then said,
with an unshaken voice, “Yes. Just when I had finished reading
the second letter from Isidore Smythe announcing his success. Just
then, I heard Welkin say, ‘He shan’t have you, though.’
It was quite plain, as if he were in the room. It is awful, I think I
must be mad.”
“If you really
were mad,” said the young man, “you would think you must
be sane. But certainly there seems to me to be something a little rum
about this unseen gentleman. Two heads are better than one—I
spare you allusions to any other organs and really, if you would
allow me, as a sturdy, practical man, to bring back the wedding-cake
out of the window—”
Even as he spoke, there was a sort of
steely shriek in the street outside, and a small motor, driven at
devilish speed, shot up to the door of the shop and stuck there. In
the same flash of time a small man in a shiny top hat stood stamping
in the outer room.
Angus, who had hitherto maintained
hilarious ease from motives of mental hygiene, revealed the strain of
his soul by striding abruptly out of the inner room and confronting
the new-comer. A glance at him was quite sufficient to confirm the
savage guesswork of a man in love. This very dapper but dwarfish
figure, with the spike of black beard carried insolently forward, the
clever unrestful eyes, the neat but very nervous fingers, could be
none other than the man just described to him: Isidore Smythe, who
made dolls out of banana skins and match-boxes; Isidore Smythe, who
made millions out of undrinking butlers and unflirting housemaids of
metal. For a moment the two men, instinctively understanding each
other’s air of possession, looked at each other with that
curious cold generosity which is the soul of rivalry.
Mr. Smythe, however, made no allusion to
the ultimate ground of their antagonism, but said simply and
explosively, “Has Miss Hope seen that thing on the window?”
“On the
window?” repeated the staring Angus.
“There’s
no time to explain other things,” said the small millionaire
shortly. “There’s some tomfoolery going on here that has
to be investigated.”
He pointed his polished walking-stick at
the window, recently depleted by the bridal preparations of Mr.
Angus; and that gentleman was astonished to see along the front of
the glass a long strip of paper pasted, which had certainly not been
on the window when he looked through it some time before. Following
the energetic Smythe outside into the street, he found that some yard
and a half of stamp paper had been carefully gummed along the glass
outside, and on this was written in straggly characters, “If
you marry Smythe, he will die.”
“Laura,”
said Angus, putting his big red head into the shop, “you’re
not mad.”
“It’s the
writing of that fellow Welkin,” said Smythe gruffly. “I
haven’t seen him for years, but he’s always bothering me.
Five times in the last fortnight he’s had threatening letters
left at my flat, and I can’t even find out who leaves them, let
alone if it is Welkin himself. The porter of the flats swears that no
suspicious characters have been seen, and here he has pasted up a
sort of dado on a public shop window, while the people in the shop—”
“Quite so,”
said Angus modestly, “while the people in the shop were having
tea. Well, sir, I can assure you I appreciate your common sense in
dealing so directly with the matter. We can talk about other things
afterwards. The fellow cannot be very far off yet, for I swear there
was no paper there when I went last to the window, ten or fifteen
minutes ago. On the other hand, he’s too far off to be chased,
as we don’t even know the direction. If you’ll take my
advice, Mr. Smythe, you’ll put this at once in the hands of
some energetic inquiry man, private rather than public. I know an
extremely clever fellow, who has set up in business five minutes from
here in your car. His name’s Flambeau, and though his youth was
a bit stormy, he’s a strictly honest man now, and his brains
are worth money. He lives in Lucknow Mansions, Hampstead.”
“That is odd,”
said the little man, arching his black eyebrows. “I live,
myself, in Himylaya Mansions, round the corner. Perhaps you might
care to come with me; I can go to my rooms and sort out these queer
Welkin documents, while you run round and get your friend the
detective.”
“You are very
good,” said Angus politely. “Well, the sooner we act the
better.”
Both men, with a queer kind of impromptu
fairness, took the same sort of formal farewell of the lady, and both
jumped into the brisk little car. As Smythe took the handles and they
turned the great corner of the street, Angus was amused to see a
gigantesque poster of “Smythe’s Silent Service,”
with a picture of a huge headless iron doll, carrying a saucepan with
the legend, “A Cook Who is Never Cross.”
“I use them in
my own flat,” said the little black-bearded man, laughing,
“partly for advertisements, and partly for real convenience.
Honestly, and all above board, those big clockwork dolls of mine do
bring your coals or claret or a timetable quicker than any live
servants I’ve ever known, if you know which knob to press. But
I’ll never deny, between ourselves, that such servants have
their disadvantages, too.”
“Indeed?”
said Angus; “is there something they can’t do?”
“Yes,”
replied Smythe coolly; “they can’t tell me who left those
threatening letters at my flat.”
The man’s motor was small and
swift like himself; in fact, like his domestic service, it was of his
own invention. If he was an advertising quack, he was one who
believed in his own wares. The sense of something tiny and flying was
accentuated as they swept up long white curves of road in the dead
but open daylight of evening. Soon the white curves came sharper and
dizzier; they were upon ascending spirals, as they say in the modern
religions. For, indeed, they were cresting a corner of London which
is almost as precipitous as Edinburgh, if not quite so picturesque.
Terrace rose above terrace, and the special tower of flats they
sought, rose above them all to almost Egyptian height, gilt by the
level sunset. The change, as they turned the corner and entered the
crescent known as Himylaya Mansions, was as abrupt as the opening of
a window; for they found that pile of flats sitting above London as
above a green sea of slate. Opposite to the mansions, on the other
side of the gravel crescent, was a bushy enclosure more like a steep
hedge or dyke than a garden, and some way below that ran a strip of
artificial water, a sort of canal, like the moat of that embowered
fortress. As the car swept round the crescent it passed, at one
corner, the stray stall of a man selling chestnuts; and right away at
the other end of the curve, Angus could see a dim blue policeman
walking slowly. These were the only human shapes in that high
suburban solitude; but he had an irrational sense that they expressed
the speechless poetry of London. He felt as if they were figures in a
story.
The little car shot up to the right
house like a bullet, and shot out its owner like a bomb shell. He was
immediately inquiring of a tall commissionaire in shining braid, and
a short porter in shirt sleeves, whether anybody or anything had been
seeking his apartments. He was assured that nobody and nothing had
passed these officials since his last inquiries; whereupon he and the
slightly bewildered Angus were shot up in the lift like a rocket,
till they reached the top floor.
“Just come in
for a minute,” said the breathless Smythe. “I want to
show you those Welkin letters. Then you might run round the corner
and fetch your friend.” He pressed a button concealed in the
wall, and the door opened of itself.
It opened on a long, commodious
ante-room, of which the only arresting features, ordinarily speaking,
were the rows of tall half-human mechanical figures that stood up on
both sides like tailors’ dummies. Like tailors’ dummies
they were headless; and like tailors’ dummies they had a
handsome unnecessary humpiness in the shoulders, and a
pigeon-breasted protuberance of chest; but barring this, they were
not much more like a human figure than any automatic machine at a
station that is about the human height. They had two great hooks like
arms, for carrying trays; and they were painted pea-green, or
vermilion, or black for convenience of distinction; in every other
way they were only automatic machines and nobody would have looked
twice at them. On this occasion, at least, nobody did. For between
the two rows of these domestic dummies lay something more interesting
than most of the mechanics of the world. It was a white, tattered
scrap of paper scrawled with red ink; and the agile inventor had
snatched it up almost as soon as the door flew open. He handed it to
Angus without a word. The red ink on it actually was not dry, and the
message ran, “If you have been to see her today, I shall kill
you.”
There was a short silence, and then
Isidore Smythe said quietly, “Would you like a little whiskey?
I rather feel as if I should.”
“Thank you; I
should like a little Flambeau,” said Angus, gloomily. “This
business seems to me to be getting rather grave. I’m going
round at once to fetch him.”
“Right you
are,” said the other, with admirable cheerfulness. “Bring
him round here as quick as you can.”
But as Angus closed the front door
behind him he saw Smythe push back a button, and one of the clockwork
images glided from its place and slid along a groove in the floor
carrying a tray with syphon and decanter. There did seem something a
trifle weird about leaving the little man alone among those dead
servants, who were coming to life as the door closed.
Six steps down from Smythe’s
landing the man in shirt sleeves was doing something with a pail.
Angus stopped to extract a promise, fortified with a prospective
bribe, that he would remain in that place until the return with the
detective, and would keep count of any kind of stranger coming up
those stairs. Dashing down to the front hall he then laid similar
charges of vigilance on the commissionaire at the front door, from
whom he learned the simplifying circumstances that there was no back
door. Not content with this, he captured the floating policeman and
induced him to stand opposite the entrance and watch it; and finally
paused an instant for a pennyworth of chestnuts, and an inquiry as to
the probable length of the merchant’s stay in the
neighbourhood.
The chestnut seller, turning up the
collar of his coat, told him he should probably be moving shortly, as
he thought it was going to snow. Indeed, the evening was growing grey
and bitter, but Angus, with all his eloquence, proceeded to nail the
chestnut man to his post.
“Keep yourself
warm on your own chestnuts,” he said earnestly. “Eat up
your whole stock; I’ll make it worth your while. I’ll
give you a sovereign if you’ll wait here till I come back, and
then tell me whether any man, woman, or child has gone into that
house where the commissionaire is standing.”
He then walked away smartly, with a last
look at the besieged tower.
“I’ve
made a ring round that room, anyhow,” he said. “They
can’t all four of them be Mr. Welkin’s accomplices.”
Lucknow Mansions were, so to speak, on a
lower platform of that hill of houses, of which Himylaya Mansions
might be called the peak. Mr. Flambeau’s semi-official flat was
on the ground floor, and presented in every way a marked contrast to
the American machinery and cold hotel-like luxury of the flat of the
Silent Service. Flambeau, who was a friend of Angus, received him in
a rococo artistic den behind his office, of which the ornaments were
sabres, harquebuses, Eastern curiosities, flasks of Italian wine,
savage cooking-pots, a plumy Persian cat, and a small dusty-looking
Roman Catholic priest, who looked particularly out of place.
“This is my
friend Father Brown,” said Flambeau. “I’ve often
wanted you to meet him. Splendid weather, this; a little cold for
Southerners like me.”
“Yes, I think
it will keep clear,” said Angus, sitting down on a
violet-striped Eastern ottoman.
“No,”
said the priest quietly, “it has begun to snow.”
And, indeed, as he spoke, the first few
flakes, foreseen by the man of chestnuts, began to drift across the
darkening windowpane.
“Well,”
said Angus heavily. “I’m afraid I’ve come on
business, and rather jumpy business at that. The fact is, Flambeau,
within a stone’s throw of your house is a fellow who badly
wants your help; he’s perpetually being haunted and threatened
by an invisible enemy—a scoundrel whom nobody has even seen.”
As Angus proceeded to tell the whole tale of Smythe and Welkin,
beginning with Laura’s story, and going on with his own, the
supernatural laugh at the corner of two empty streets, the strange
distinct words spoken in an empty room, Flambeau grew more and more
vividly concerned, and the little priest seemed to be left out of it,
like a piece of furniture. When it came to the scribbled stamp-paper
pasted on the window, Flambeau rose, seeming to fill the room with
his huge shoulders.
“If you don’t
mind,” he said, “I think you had better tell me the rest
on the nearest road to this man’s house. It strikes me,
somehow, that there is no time to be lost.”
“Delighted,”
said Angus, rising also, “though he’s safe enough for the
present, for I’ve set four men to watch the only hole to his
burrow.”
They turned out into the street, the
small priest trundling after them with the docility of a small dog.
He merely said, in a cheerful way, like one making conversation, “How
quick the snow gets thick on the ground.”
As they threaded the steep side streets
already powdered with silver, Angus finished his story; and by the
time they reached the crescent with the towering flats, he had
leisure to turn his attention to the four sentinels. The chestnut
seller, both before and after receiving a sovereign, swore stubbornly
that he had watched the door and seen no visitor enter. The policeman
was even more emphatic. He said he had had experience of crooks of
all kinds, in top hats and in rags; he wasn’t so green as to
expect suspicious characters to look suspicious; he looked out for
anybody, and, so help him, there had been nobody. And when all three
men gathered round the gilded commissionaire, who still stood smiling
astride of the porch, the verdict was more final still.
“I’ve got
a right to ask any man, duke or dustman, what he wants in these
flats,” said the genial and gold-laced giant, “and I’ll
swear there’s been nobody to ask since this gentleman went
away.”
The unimportant Father Brown, who stood
back, looking modestly at the pavement, here ventured to say meekly,
“Has nobody been up and down stairs, then, since the snow began
to fall? It began while we were all round at Flambeau’s.”
“Nobody’s
been in here, sir, you can take it from me,” said the official,
with beaming authority.
“Then I wonder
what that is?” said the priest, and stared at the ground
blankly like a fish.
The others all looked down also; and
Flambeau used a fierce exclamation and a French gesture. For it was
unquestionably true that down the middle of the entrance guarded by
the man in gold lace, actually between the arrogant, stretched legs
of that colossus, ran a stringy pattern of grey footprints stamped
upon the white snow.
“God!”
cried Angus involuntarily, “the Invisible Man!”
Without another word he turned and
dashed up the stairs, with Flambeau following; but Father Brown still
stood looking about him in the snow-clad street as if he had lost
interest in his query.
Flambeau was plainly in a mood to break
down the door with his big shoulders; but the Scotchman, with more
reason, if less intuition, fumbled about on the frame of the door
till he found the invisible button; and the door swung slowly open.
It showed substantially the same serried
interior; the hall had grown darker, though it was still struck here
and there with the last crimson shafts of sunset, and one or two of
the headless machines had been moved from their places for this or
that purpose, and stood here and there about the twilit place. The
green and red of their coats were all darkened in the dusk; and their
likeness to human shapes slightly increased by their very
shapelessness. But in the middle of them all, exactly where the paper
with the red ink had lain, there lay something that looked like red
ink spilt out of its bottle. But it was not red ink.
With a French combination of reason and
violence Flambeau simply said “Murder!” and, plunging
into the flat, had explored, every corner and cupboard of it in five
minutes. But if he expected to find a corpse he found none. Isidore
Smythe was not in the place, either dead or alive. After the most
tearing search the two men met each other in the outer hall, with
streaming faces and staring eyes. “My friend,” said
Flambeau, talking French in his excitement, “not only is your
murderer invisible, but he makes invisible also the murdered man.”
Angus looked round at the dim room full
of dummies, and in some Celtic corner of his Scotch soul a shudder
started. One of the life-size dolls stood immediately overshadowing
the blood stain, summoned, perhaps, by the slain man an instant
before he fell. One of the high-shouldered hooks that served the
thing for arms, was a little lifted, and Angus had suddenly the
horrid fancy that poor Smythe’s own iron child had struck him
down. Matter had rebelled, and these machines had killed their
master. But even so, what had they done with him?
“Eaten him?”
said the nightmare at his ear; and he sickened for an instant at the
idea of rent, human remains absorbed and crushed into all that
acephalous clockwork.
He recovered his mental health by an
emphatic effort, and said to Flambeau, “Well, there it is. The
poor fellow has evaporated like a cloud and left a red streak on the
floor. The tale does not belong to this world.”
“There is only
one thing to be done,” said Flambeau, “whether it belongs
to this world or the other. I must go down and talk to my friend.”
They descended, passing the man with the
pail, who again asseverated that he had let no intruder pass, down to
the commissionaire and the hovering chestnut man, who rigidly
reasserted their own watchfulness. But when Angus looked round for
his fourth confirmation he could not see it, and called out with some
nervousness, “Where is the policeman?”
“I beg your
pardon,” said Father Brown; “that is my fault. I just
sent him down the road to investigate something—that I just
thought worth investigating.”
“Well, we want
him back pretty soon,” said Angus abruptly, “for the
wretched man upstairs has not only been murdered, but wiped out.”
“How?”
asked the priest.
“Father,”
said Flambeau, after a pause, “upon my soul I believe it is
more in your department than mine. No friend or foe has entered the
house, but Smythe is gone, as if stolen by the fairies. If that is
not supernatural, I—”
As he spoke they were all checked by an
unusual sight; the big blue policeman came round the corner of the
crescent, running. He came straight up to Brown.
“You’re
right, sir,” he panted, “they’ve just found poor
Mr. Smythe’s body in the canal down below.”
Angus put his hand wildly to his head.
“Did he run down and drown himself?” he asked.
“He never came
down, I’ll swear,” said the constable, “and he
wasn’t drowned either, for he died of a great stab over the
heart.”
“And yet you
saw no one enter?” said Flambeau in a grave voice.
“Let us walk
down the road a little,” said the priest.
As they reached the other end of the
crescent he observed abruptly, “Stupid of me! I forgot to ask
the policeman something. I wonder if they found a light brown sack.”
“Why a light
brown sack?” asked Angus, astonished.
“Because if it
was any other coloured sack, the case must begin over again,”
said Father Brown; “but if it was a light brown sack, why, the
case is finished.”
“I am pleased
to hear it,” said Angus with hearty irony. “It hasn’t
begun, so far as I am concerned.”
“You must tell
us all about it,” said Flambeau with a strange heavy
simplicity, like a child.
Unconsciously they were walking with
quickening steps down the long sweep of road on the other side of the
high crescent, Father Brown leading briskly, though in silence. At
last he said with an almost touching vagueness, “Well, I’m
afraid you’ll think it so prosy. We always begin at the
abstract end of things, and you can’t begin this story anywhere
else.
“Have you ever
noticed this—that people never answer what you say? They answer
what you mean—or what they think you mean. Suppose one lady
says to another in a country house, ‘Is anybody staying with
you?’ the lady doesn’t answer ‘Yes; the butler, the
three footmen, the parlourmaid, and so on,’ though the
parlourmaid may be in the room, or the butler behind her chair. She
says ‘There is nobody staying with us,’ meaning nobody of
the sort you mean. But suppose a doctor inquiring into an epidemic
asks, ‘Who is staying in the house?’ then the lady will
remember the butler, the parlourmaid, and the rest. All language is
used like that; you never get a question answered literally, even
when you get it answered truly. When those four quite honest men said
that no man had gone into the Mansions, they did not really mean that
no man had gone into them. They meant no man whom they could suspect
of being your man. A man did go into the house, and did come out of
it, but they never noticed him.”
“An invisible
man?” inquired Angus, raising his red eyebrows. “A
mentally invisible man,” said Father Brown.
A minute or two after he resumed in the
same unassuming voice, like a man thinking his way. “Of course
you can’t think of such a man, until you do think of him.
That’s where his cleverness comes in. But I came to think of
him through two or three little things in the tale Mr. Angus told us.
First, there was the fact that this Welkin went for long walks. And
then there was the vast lot of stamp paper on the window. And then,
most of all, there were the two things the young lady said—things
that couldn’t be true. Don’t get annoyed,” he added
hastily, noting a sudden movement of the Scotchman’s head; “she
thought they were true. A person can’t be quite alone in a
street a second before she receives a letter. She can’t be
quite alone in a street when she starts reading a letter just
received. There must be somebody pretty near her; he must be mentally
invisible.”
“Why must there
be somebody near her?” asked Angus.
“Because,”
said Father Brown, “barring carrier-pigeons, somebody must have
brought her the letter.”
“Do you really
mean to say,” asked Flambeau, with energy, “that Welkin
carried his rival’s letters to his lady?”
“Yes,”
said the priest. “Welkin carried his rival’s letters to
his lady. You see, he had to.”
“Oh, I can’t
stand much more of this,” exploded Flambeau. “Who is this
fellow? What does he look like? What is the usual get-up of a
mentally invisible man?”
“He is dressed
rather handsomely in red, blue and gold,” replied the priest
promptly with precision, “and in this striking, and even showy,
costume he entered Himylaya Mansions under eight human eyes; he
killed Smythe in cold blood, and came down into the street again
carrying the dead body in his arms—”
“Reverend sir,”
cried Angus, standing still, “are you raving mad, or am I?”
“You are not
mad,” said Brown, “only a little unobservant. You have
not noticed such a man as this, for example.”
He took three quick strides forward, and
put his hand on the shoulder of an ordinary passing postman who had
bustled by them unnoticed under the shade of the trees.
“Nobody ever
notices postmen somehow,” he said thoughtfully; “yet they
have passions like other men, and even carry large bags where a small
corpse can be stowed quite easily.”
The postman, instead of turning
naturally, had ducked and tumbled against the garden fence. He was a
lean fair-bearded man of very ordinary appearance, but as he turned
an alarmed face over his shoulder, all three men were fixed with an
almost fiendish squint.
Flambeau went back to his sabres, purple
rugs and Persian cat, having many things to attend to. John Turnbull
Angus went back to the lady at the shop, with whom that imprudent
young man contrives to be extremely comfortable. But Father Brown
walked those snow-covered hills under the stars for many hours with a
murderer, and what they said to each other will never be known.
The Honour of Israel Gow
A stormy evening of olive and silver was
closing in, as Father Brown, wrapped in a grey Scotch plaid, came to
the end of a grey Scotch valley and beheld the strange castle of
Glengyle. It stopped one end of the glen or hollow like a blind
alley; and it looked like the end of the world. Rising in steep roofs
and spires of seagreen slate in the manner of the old French-Scotch
chateaux, it reminded an Englishman of the sinister steeple-hats of
witches in fairy tales; and the pine woods that rocked round the
green turrets looked, by comparison, as black as numberless flocks of
ravens. This note of a dreamy, almost a sleepy devilry, was no mere
fancy from the landscape. For there did rest on the place one of
those clouds of pride and madness and mysterious sorrow which lie
more heavily on the noble houses of Scotland than on any other of the
children of men. For Scotland has a double dose of the poison called
heredity; the sense of blood in the aristocrat, and the sense of doom
in the Calvinist.
The priest had snatched a day from his
business at Glasgow to meet his friend Flambeau, the amateur
detective, who was at Glengyle Castle with another more formal
officer investigating the life and death of the late Earl of
Glengyle. That mysterious person was the last representative of a
race whose valour, insanity, and violent cunning had made them
terrible even among the sinister nobility of their nation in the
sixteenth century. None were deeper in that labyrinthine ambition, in
chamber within chamber of that palace of lies that was built up
around Mary Queen of Scots.
The rhyme in the country-side attested
the motive and the result of their machinations candidly:
As
green sap to the simmer trees
Is
red gold to the Ogilvies.
For many centuries there had never been
a decent lord in Glengyle Castle; and with the Victorian era one
would have thought that all eccentricities were exhausted. The last
Glengyle, however, satisfied his tribal tradition by doing the only
thing that was left for him to do; he disappeared. I do not mean that
he went abroad; by all accounts he was still in the castle, if he was
anywhere. But though his name was in the church register and the big
red Peerage, nobody ever saw him under the sun.
If anyone saw him it was a solitary
man-servant, something between a groom and a gardener. He was so deaf
that the more business-like assumed him to be dumb; while the more
penetrating declared him to be half-witted. A gaunt, red-haired
labourer, with a dogged jaw and chin, but quite blank blue eyes, he
went by the name of Israel Gow, and was the one silent servant on
that deserted estate. But the energy with which he dug potatoes, and
the regularity with which he disappeared into the kitchen gave people
an impression that he was providing for the meals of a superior, and
that the strange earl was still concealed in the castle. If society
needed any further proof that he was there, the servant persistently
asserted that he was not at home. One morning the provost and the
minister (for the Glengyles were Presbyterian) were summoned to the
castle. There they found that the gardener, groom and cook had added
to his many professions that of an undertaker, and had nailed up his
noble master in a coffin. With how much or how little further inquiry
this odd fact was passed, did not as yet very plainly appear; for the
thing had never been legally investigated till Flambeau had gone
north two or three days before. By then the body of Lord Glengyle (if
it was the body) had lain for some time in the little churchyard on
the hill.
As Father Brown passed through the dim
garden and came under the shadow of the chateau, the clouds were
thick and the whole air damp and thundery. Against the last stripe of
the green-gold sunset he saw a black human silhouette; a man in a
chimney-pot hat, with a big spade over his shoulder. The combination
was queerly suggestive of a sexton; but when Brown remembered the
deaf servant who dug potatoes, he thought it natural enough. He knew
something of the Scotch peasant; he knew the respectability which
might well feel it necessary to wear “blacks” for an
official inquiry; he knew also the economy that would not lose an
hour’s digging for that. Even the man’s start and
suspicious stare as the priest went by were consonant enough with the
vigilance and jealousy of such a type.
The great door was opened by Flambeau
himself, who had with him a lean man with iron-grey hair and papers
in his hand: Inspector Craven from Scotland Yard. The entrance hall
was mostly stripped and empty; but the pale, sneering faces of one or
two of the wicked Ogilvies looked down out of black periwigs and
blackening canvas.
Following them into an inner room,
Father Brown found that the allies had been seated at a long oak
table, of which their end was covered with scribbled papers, flanked
with whisky and cigars. Through the whole of its remaining length it
was occupied by detached objects arranged at intervals; objects about
as inexplicable as any objects could be. One looked like a small heap
of glittering broken glass. Another looked like a high heap of brown
dust. A third appeared to be a plain stick of wood.
“You seem to
have a sort of geological museum here,” he said, as he sat
down, jerking his head briefly in the direction of the brown dust and
the crystalline fragments.
“Not a
geological museum,” replied Flambeau; “say a
psychological museum.”
“Oh, for the
Lord’s sake,” cried the police detective laughing, “don’t
let’s begin with such long words.”
“Don’t
you know what psychology means?” asked Flambeau with friendly
surprise. “Psychology means being off your chump.”
“Still I hardly
follow,” replied the official.
“Well,”
said Flambeau, with decision, “I mean that we’ve only
found out one thing about Lord Glengyle. He was a maniac.”
The black silhouette of Gow with his top
hat and spade passed the window, dimly outlined against the darkening
sky. Father Brown stared passively at it and answered:
“I can
understand there must have been something odd about the man, or he
wouldn’t have buried himself alive—nor been in such a
hurry to bury himself dead. But what makes you think it was lunacy?”
“Well,”
said Flambeau, “you just listen to the list of things Mr.
Craven has found in the house.”
“We must get a
candle,” said Craven, suddenly. “A storm is getting up,
and it’s too dark to read.”
“Have you found
any candles,” asked Brown smiling, “among your oddities?”
Flambeau raised a grave face, and fixed
his dark eyes on his friend.
“That is
curious, too,” he said. “Twenty-five candles, and not a
trace of a candlestick.”
In the rapidly darkening room and
rapidly rising wind, Brown went along the table to where a bundle of
wax candles lay among the other scrappy exhibits. As he did so he
bent accidentally over the heap of red-brown dust; and a sharp sneeze
cracked the silence.
“Hullo!”
he said, “snuff!”
He took one of the candles, lit it
carefully, came back and stuck it in the neck of the whisky bottle.
The unrestful night air, blowing through the crazy window, waved the
long flame like a banner. And on every side of the castle they could
hear the miles and miles of black pine wood seething like a black sea
around a rock.
“I will read
the inventory,” began Craven gravely, picking up one of the
papers, “the inventory of what we found loose and unexplained
in the castle. You are to understand that the place generally was
dismantled and neglected; but one or two rooms had plainly been
inhabited in a simple but not squalid style by somebody; somebody who
was not the servant Gow. The list is as follows:
“First item. A
very considerable hoard of precious stones, nearly all diamonds, and
all of them loose, without any setting whatever. Of course, it is
natural that the Ogilvies should have family jewels; but those are
exactly the jewels that are almost always set in particular articles
of ornament. The Ogilvies would seem to have kept theirs loose in
their pockets, like coppers.
“Second item.
Heaps and heaps of loose snuff, not kept in a horn, or even a pouch,
but lying in heaps on the mantelpieces, on the sideboard, on the
piano, anywhere. It looks as if the old gentleman would not take the
trouble to look in a pocket or lift a lid.
“Third item.
Here and there about the house curious little heaps of minute pieces
of metal, some like steel springs and some in the form of microscopic
wheels. As if they had gutted some mechanical toy.
“Fourth item.
The wax candles, which have to be stuck in bottle necks because there
is nothing else to stick them in. Now I wish you to note how very
much queerer all this is than anything we anticipated. For the
central riddle we are prepared; we have all seen at a glance that
there was something wrong about the last earl. We have come here to
find out whether he really lived here, whether he really died here,
whether that red-haired scarecrow who did his burying had anything to
do with his dying. But suppose the worst in all this, the most lurid
or melodramatic solution you like. Suppose the servant really killed
the master, or suppose the master isn’t really dead, or suppose
the master is dressed up as the servant, or suppose the servant is
buried for the master; invent what Wilkie Collins’ tragedy you
like, and you still have not explained a candle without a
candlestick, or why an elderly gentleman of good family should
habitually spill snuff on the piano. The core of the tale we could
imagine; it is the fringes that are mysterious. By no stretch of
fancy can the human mind connect together snuff and diamonds and wax
and loose clockwork.”
“I think I see
the connection,” said the priest. “This Glengyle was mad
against the French Revolution. He was an enthusiast for the ancien
regime, and was trying to re-enact literally the family life of the
last Bourbons. He had snuff because it was the eighteenth century
luxury; wax candles, because they were the eighteenth century
lighting; the mechanical bits of iron represent the locksmith hobby
of Louis XVI; the diamonds are for the Diamond Necklace of Marie
Antoinette.”
Both the other men were staring at him
with round eyes. “What a perfectly extraordinary notion!”
cried Flambeau. “Do you really think that is the truth?”
“I am perfectly
sure it isn’t,” answered Father Brown, “only you
said that nobody could connect snuff and diamonds and clockwork and
candles. I give you that connection off-hand. The real truth, I am
very sure, lies deeper.”
He paused a moment and listened to the
wailing of the wind in the turrets. Then he said, “The late
Earl of Glengyle was a thief. He lived a second and darker life as a
desperate housebreaker. He did not have any candlesticks because he
only used these candles cut short in the little lantern he carried.
The snuff he employed as the fiercest French criminals have used
pepper: to fling it suddenly in dense masses in the face of a captor
or pursuer. But the final proof is in the curious coincidence of the
diamonds and the small steel wheels. Surely that makes everything
plain to you? Diamonds and small steel wheels are the only two
instruments with which you can cut out a pane of glass.”
The bough of a broken pine tree lashed
heavily in the blast against the windowpane behind them, as if in
parody of a burglar, but they did not turn round. Their eyes were
fastened on Father Brown.
“Diamonds and
small wheels,” repeated Craven ruminating. “Is that all
that makes you think it the true explanation?”
“I don’t
think it the true explanation,” replied the priest placidly;
“but you said that nobody could connect the four things. The
true tale, of course, is something much more humdrum. Glengyle had
found, or thought he had found, precious stones on his estate.
Somebody had bamboozled him with those loose brilliants, saying they
were found in the castle caverns. The little wheels are some
diamond-cutting affair. He had to do the thing very roughly and in a
small way, with the help of a few shepherds or rude fellows on these
hills. Snuff is the one great luxury of such Scotch shepherds; it’s
the one thing with which you can bribe them. They didn’t have
candlesticks because they didn’t want them; they held the
candles in their hands when they explored the caves.”
“Is that all?”
asked Flambeau after a long pause. “Have we got to the dull
truth at last?”
“Oh, no,”
said Father Brown.
As the wind died in the most distant
pine woods with a long hoot as of mockery Father Brown, with an
utterly impassive face, went on:
“I only
suggested that because you said one could not plausibly connect snuff
with clockwork or candles with bright stones. Ten false philosophies
will fit the universe; ten false theories will fit Glengyle Castle.
But we want the real explanation of the castle and the universe. But
are there no other exhibits?”
Craven laughed, and Flambeau rose
smiling to his feet and strolled down the long table.
“Items five,
six, seven, etc.,” he said, “and certainly more varied
than instructive. A curious collection, not of lead pencils, but of
the lead out of lead pencils. A senseless stick of bamboo, with the
top rather splintered. It might be the instrument of the crime. Only,
there isn’t any crime. The only other things are a few old
missals and little Catholic pictures, which the Ogilvies kept, I
suppose, from the Middle Ages—their family pride being stronger
than their Puritanism. We only put them in the museum because they
seem curiously cut about and defaced.”
The heady tempest without drove a
dreadful wrack of clouds across Glengyle and threw the long room into
darkness as Father Brown picked up the little illuminated pages to
examine them. He spoke before the drift of darkness had passed; but
it was the voice of an utterly new man.
“Mr. Craven,”
said he, talking like a man ten years younger, “you have got a
legal warrant, haven’t you, to go up and examine that grave?
The sooner we do it the better, and get to the bottom of this
horrible affair. If I were you I should start now.”
“Now,”
repeated the astonished detective, “and why now?”
“Because this
is serious,” answered Brown; “this is not spilt snuff or
loose pebbles, that might be there for a hundred reasons. There is
only one reason I know of for this being done; and the reason goes
down to the roots of the world. These religious pictures are not just
dirtied or torn or scrawled over, which might be done in idleness or
bigotry, by children or by Protestants. These have been treated very
carefully—and very queerly. In every place where the great
ornamented name of God comes in the old illuminations it has been
elaborately taken out. The only other thing that has been removed is
the halo round the head of the Child Jesus. Therefore, I say, let us
get our warrant and our spade and our hatchet, and go up and break
open that coffin.”
“What do you
mean?” demanded the London officer.
“I mean,”
answered the little priest, and his voice seemed to rise slightly in
the roar of the gale. “I mean that the great devil of the
universe may be sitting on the top tower of this castle at this
moment, as big as a hundred elephants, and roaring like the
Apocalypse. There is black magic somewhere at the bottom of this.”
“Black magic,”
repeated Flambeau in a low voice, for he was too enlightened a man
not to know of such things; “but what can these other things
mean?”
“Oh, something
damnable, I suppose,” replied Brown impatiently. “How
should I know? How can I guess all their mazes down below? Perhaps
you can make a torture out of snuff and bamboo. Perhaps lunatics lust
after wax and steel filings. Perhaps there is a maddening drug made
of lead pencils! Our shortest cut to the mystery is up the hill to
the grave.”
His comrades hardly knew that they had
obeyed and followed him till a blast of the night wind nearly flung
them on their faces in the garden. Nevertheless they had obeyed him
like automata; for Craven found a hatchet in his hand, and the
warrant in his pocket; Flambeau was carrying the heavy spade of the
strange gardener; Father Brown was carrying the little gilt book from
which had been torn the name of God.
The path up the hill to the churchyard
was crooked but short; only under that stress of wind it seemed
laborious and long. Far as the eye could see, farther and farther as
they mounted the slope, were seas beyond seas of pines, now all
aslope one way under the wind. And that universal gesture seemed as
vain as it was vast, as vain as if that wind were whistling about
some unpeopled and purposeless planet. Through all that infinite
growth of grey-blue forests sang, shrill and high, that ancient
sorrow that is in the heart of all heathen things. One could fancy
that the voices from the under world of unfathomable foliage were
cries of the lost and wandering pagan gods: gods who had gone roaming
in that irrational forest, and who will never find their way back to
heaven.
“You see,”
said Father Brown in low but easy tone, “Scotch people before
Scotland existed were a curious lot. In fact, they’re a curious
lot still. But in the prehistoric times I fancy they really
worshipped demons. That,” he added genially, “is why they
jumped at the Puritan theology.”
“My friend,”
said Flambeau, turning in a kind of fury, “what does all that
snuff mean?”
“My friend,”
replied Brown, with equal seriousness, “there is one mark of
all genuine religions: materialism. Now, devil-worship is a perfectly
genuine religion.”
They had come up on the grassy scalp of
the hill, one of the few bald spots that stood clear of the crashing
and roaring pine forest. A mean enclosure, partly timber and partly
wire, rattled in the tempest to tell them the border of the
graveyard. But by the time Inspector Craven had come to the corner of
the grave, and Flambeau had planted his spade point downwards and
leaned on it, they were both almost as shaken as the shaky wood and
wire. At the foot of the grave grew great tall thistles, grey and
silver in their decay. Once or twice, when a ball of thistledown
broke under the breeze and flew past him, Craven jumped slightly as
if it had been an arrow.
Flambeau drove the blade of his spade
through the whistling grass into the wet clay below. Then he seemed
to stop and lean on it as on a staff.
“Go on,”
said the priest very gently. “We are only trying to find the
truth. What are you afraid of?”
“I am afraid of
finding it,” said Flambeau.
The London detective spoke suddenly in a
high crowing voice that was meant to be conversational and cheery. “I
wonder why he really did hide himself like that. Something nasty, I
suppose; was he a leper?”
“Something
worse than that,” said Flambeau.
“And what do
you imagine,” asked the other, “would be worse than a
leper?”
“I don’t
imagine it,” said Flambeau.
He dug for some dreadful minutes in
silence, and then said in a choked voice, “I’m afraid of
his not being the right shape.”
“Nor was that
piece of paper, you know,” said Father Brown quietly, “and
we survived even that piece of paper.”
Flambeau dug on with a blind energy. But
the tempest had shouldered away the choking grey clouds that clung to
the hills like smoke and revealed grey fields of faint starlight
before he cleared the shape of a rude timber coffin, and somehow
tipped it up upon the turf. Craven stepped forward with his axe; a
thistle-top touched him, and he flinched. Then he took a firmer
stride, and hacked and wrenched with an energy like Flambeau’s
till the lid was torn off, and all that was there lay glimmering in
the grey starlight.
“Bones,”
said Craven; and then he added, “but it is a man,” as if
that were something unexpected.
“Is he,”
asked Flambeau in a voice that went oddly up and down, “is he
all right?”
“Seems so,”
said the officer huskily, bending over the obscure and decaying
skeleton in the box. “Wait a minute.”
A vast heave went over Flambeau’s
huge figure. “And now I come to think of it,” he cried,
“why in the name of madness shouldn’t he be all right?
What is it gets hold of a man on these cursed cold mountains? I think
it’s the black, brainless repetition; all these forests, and
over all an ancient horror of unconsciousness. It’s like the
dream of an atheist. Pine-trees and more pine-trees and millions more
pine-trees—”
“God!”
cried the man by the coffin, “but he hasn’t got a head.”
While the others stood rigid the priest,
for the first time, showed a leap of startled concern.
“No head!”
he repeated. “No head?” as if he had almost expected some
other deficiency.
Half-witted visions of a headless baby
born to Glengyle, of a headless youth hiding himself in the castle,
of a headless man pacing those ancient halls or that gorgeous garden,
passed in panorama through their minds. But even in that stiffened
instant the tale took no root in them and seemed to have no reason in
it. They stood listening to the loud woods and the shrieking sky
quite foolishly, like exhausted animals. Thought seemed to be
something enormous that had suddenly slipped out of their grasp.
“There are
three headless men,” said Father Brown, “standing round
this open grave.”
The pale detective from London opened
his mouth to speak, and left it open like a yokel, while a long
scream of wind tore the sky; then he looked at the axe in his hands
as if it did not belong to him, and dropped it.
“Father,”
said Flambeau in that infantile and heavy voice he used very seldom,
“what are we to do?”
His friend’s reply came with the
pent promptitude of a gun going off.
“Sleep!”
cried Father Brown. “Sleep. We have come to the end of the
ways. Do you know what sleep is? Do you know that every man who
sleeps believes in God? It is a sacrament; for it is an act of faith
and it is a food. And we need a sacrament, if only a natural one.
Something has fallen on us that falls very seldom on men; perhaps the
worst thing that can fall on them.”
Craven’s parted lips came together
to say, “What do you mean?”
The priest had turned his face to the
castle as he answered: “We have found the truth; and the truth
makes no sense.”
He went down the path in front of them
with a plunging and reckless step very rare with him, and when they
reached the castle again he threw himself upon sleep with the
simplicity of a dog.
Despite his mystic praise of slumber,
Father Brown was up earlier than anyone else except the silent
gardener; and was found smoking a big pipe and watching that expert
at his speechless labours in the kitchen garden. Towards daybreak the
rocking storm had ended in roaring rains, and the day came with a
curious freshness. The gardener seemed even to have been conversing,
but at sight of the detectives he planted his spade sullenly in a bed
and, saying something about his breakfast, shifted along the lines of
cabbages and shut himself in the kitchen. “He’s a
valuable man, that,” said Father Brown. “He does the
potatoes amazingly. Still,” he added, with a dispassionate
charity, “he has his faults; which of us hasn’t? He
doesn’t dig this bank quite regularly. There, for instance,”
and he stamped suddenly on one spot. “I’m really very
doubtful about that potato.”
“And why?”
asked Craven, amused with the little man’s hobby.
“I’m
doubtful about it,” said the other, “because old Gow was
doubtful about it himself. He put his spade in methodically in every
place but just this. There must be a mighty fine potato just here.”
Flambeau pulled up the spade and
impetuously drove it into the place. He turned up, under a load of
soil, something that did not look like a potato, but rather like a
monstrous, over-domed mushroom. But it struck the spade with a cold
click; it rolled over like a ball, and grinned up at them.
“The Earl of
Glengyle,” said Brown sadly, and looked down heavily at the
skull.
Then, after a momentary meditation, he
plucked the spade from Flambeau, and, saying “We must hide it
again,” clamped the skull down in the earth. Then he leaned his
little body and huge head on the great handle of the spade, that
stood up stiffly in the earth, and his eyes were empty and his
forehead full of wrinkles. “If one could only conceive,”
he muttered, “the meaning of this last monstrosity.” And
leaning on the large spade handle, he buried his brows in his hands,
as men do in church.
All the corners of the sky were
brightening into blue and silver; the birds were chattering in the
tiny garden trees; so loud it seemed as if the trees themselves were
talking. But the three men were silent enough.
“Well, I give
it all up,” said Flambeau at last boisterously. “My brain
and this world don’t fit each other; and there’s an end
of it. Snuff, spoilt Prayer Books, and the insides of musical
boxes—what—”
Brown threw up his bothered brow and
rapped on the spade handle with an intolerance quite unusual with
him. “Oh, tut, tut, tut, tut!” he cried. “All that
is as plain as a pikestaff. I understood the snuff and clockwork, and
so on, when I first opened my eyes this morning. And since then I’ve
had it out with old Gow, the gardener, who is neither so deaf nor so
stupid as he pretends. There’s nothing amiss about the loose
items. I was wrong about the torn mass-book, too; there’s no
harm in that. But it’s this last business. Desecrating graves
and stealing dead men’s heads—surely there’s harm
in that? Surely there’s black magic still in that? That doesn’t
fit in to the quite simple story of the snuff and the candles.”
And, striding about again, he smoked moodily.
“My friend,”
said Flambeau, with a grim humour, “you must be careful with me
and remember I was once a criminal. The great advantage of that
estate was that I always made up the story myself, and acted it as
quick as I chose. This detective business of waiting about is too
much for my French impatience. All my life, for good or evil, I have
done things at the instant; I always fought duels the next morning; I
always paid bills on the nail; I never even put off a visit to the
dentist—”
Father Brown’s pipe fell out of
his mouth and broke into three pieces on the gravel path. He stood
rolling his eyes, the exact picture of an idiot. “Lord, what a
turnip I am!” he kept saying. “Lord, what a turnip!”
Then, in a somewhat groggy kind of way, he began to laugh.
“The dentist!”
he repeated. “Six hours in the spiritual abyss, and all because
I never thought of the dentist! Such a simple, such a beautiful and
peaceful thought! Friends, we have passed a night in hell; but now
the sun is risen, the birds are singing, and the radiant form of the
dentist consoles the world.”
“I will get
some sense out of this,” cried Flambeau, striding forward, “if
I use the tortures of the Inquisition.”
Father Brown repressed what appeared to
be a momentary disposition to dance on the now sunlit lawn and cried
quite piteously, like a child, “Oh, let me be silly a little.
You don’t know how unhappy I have been. And now I know that
there has been no deep sin in this business at all. Only a little
lunacy, perhaps—and who minds that?”
He spun round once more, then faced them
with gravity.
“This is not a
story of crime,” he said; “rather it is the story of a
strange and crooked honesty. We are dealing with the one man on
earth, perhaps, who has taken no more than his due. It is a study in
the savage living logic that has been the religion of this race.
“That old local
rhyme about the house of Glengyle—
As
green sap to the simmer trees
Is
red gold to the Ogilvies—
was literal as well as metaphorical. It
did not merely mean that the Glengyles sought for wealth; it was also
true that they literally gathered gold; they had a huge collection of
ornaments and utensils in that metal. They were, in fact, misers
whose mania took that turn. In the light of that fact, run through
all the things we found in the castle. Diamonds without their gold
rings; candles without their gold candlesticks; snuff without the
gold snuff-boxes; pencil-leads without the gold pencil-cases; a
walking stick without its gold top; clockwork without the gold
clocks—or rather watches. And, mad as it sounds, because the
halos and the name of God in the old missals were of real gold; these
also were taken away.”
The garden seemed to brighten, the grass
to grow gayer in the strengthening sun, as the crazy truth was told.
Flambeau lit a cigarette as his friend went on.
“Were taken
away,” continued Father Brown; “were taken away—but
not stolen. Thieves would never have left this mystery. Thieves would
have taken the gold snuff-boxes, snuff and all; the gold
pencil-cases, lead and all. We have to deal with a man with a
peculiar conscience, but certainly a conscience. I found that mad
moralist this morning in the kitchen garden yonder, and I heard the
whole story.
“The late
Archibald Ogilvie was the nearest approach to a good man ever born at
Glengyle. But his bitter virtue took the turn of the misanthrope; he
moped over the dishonesty of his ancestors, from which, somehow, he
generalised a dishonesty of all men. More especially he distrusted
philanthropy or free-giving; and he swore if he could find one man
who took his exact rights he should have all the gold of Glengyle.
Having delivered this defiance to humanity he shut himself up,
without the smallest expectation of its being answered. One day,
however, a deaf and seemingly senseless lad from a distant village
brought him a belated telegram; and Glengyle, in his acrid
pleasantry, gave him a new farthing. At least he thought he had done
so, but when he turned over his change he found the new farthing
still there and a sovereign gone. The accident offered him vistas of
sneering speculation. Either way, the boy would show the greasy greed
of the species. Either he would vanish, a thief stealing a coin; or
he would sneak back with it virtuously, a snob seeking a reward. In
the middle of that night Lord Glengyle was knocked up out of his
bed—for he lived alone—and forced to open the door to the
deaf idiot. The idiot brought with him, not the sovereign, but
exactly nineteen shillings and eleven-pence three-farthings in
change.
“Then the wild
exactitude of this action took hold of the mad lord’s brain
like fire. He swore he was Diogenes, that had long sought an honest
man, and at last had found one. He made a new will, which I have
seen. He took the literal youth into his huge, neglected house, and
trained him up as his solitary servant and—after an odd
manner—his heir. And whatever that queer creature understands,
he understood absolutely his lord’s two fixed ideas: first,
that the letter of right is everything; and second, that he himself
was to have the gold of Glengyle. So far, that is all; and that is
simple. He has stripped the house of gold, and taken not a grain that
was not gold; not so much as a grain of snuff. He lifted the gold
leaf off an old illumination, fully satisfied that he left the rest
unspoilt. All that I understood; but I could not understand this
skull business. I was really uneasy about that human head buried
among the potatoes. It distressed me—till Flambeau said the
word.
“It will be all
right. He will put the skull back in the grave, when he has taken the
gold out of the tooth.”
And, indeed, when Flambeau crossed the
hill that morning, he saw that strange being, the just miser, digging
at the desecrated grave, the plaid round his throat thrashing out in
the mountain wind; the sober top hat on his head.
The Wrong Shape
Certain of the great roads going north
out of London continue far into the country a sort of attenuated and
interrupted spectre of a street, with great gaps in the building, but
preserving the line. Here will be a group of shops, followed by a
fenced field or paddock, and then a famous public-house, and then
perhaps a market garden or a nursery garden, and then one large
private house, and then another field and another inn, and so on. If
anyone walks along one of these roads he will pass a house which will
probably catch his eye, though he may not be able to explain its
attraction. It is a long, low house, running parallel with the road,
painted mostly white and pale green, with a veranda and sun-blinds,
and porches capped with those quaint sort of cupolas like wooden
umbrellas that one sees in some old-fashioned houses. In fact, it is
an old-fashioned house, very English and very suburban in the good
old wealthy Clapham sense. And yet the house has a look of having
been built chiefly for the hot weather. Looking at its white paint
and sun-blinds one thinks vaguely of pugarees and even of palm trees.
I cannot trace the feeling to its root; perhaps the place was built
by an Anglo-Indian.
Anyone passing this house, I say, would
be namelessly fascinated by it; would feel that it was a place about
which some story was to be told. And he would have been right, as you
shall shortly hear. For this is the story—the story of the
strange things that did really happen in it in the Whitsuntide of the
year 18—:
Anyone passing the
house on the Thursday before Whit-Sunday at about half-past four p.m.
would have seen the front door open, and Father
Brown, of the small church of St. Mungo, come out smoking a large
pipe in company with a very tall French friend of his called
Flambeau, who was smoking a very small cigarette. These persons may
or may not be of interest to the reader, but the truth is that they
were not the only interesting things that were displayed when the
front door of the white-and-green house was opened. There are further
peculiarities about this house, which must be described to start
with, not only that the reader may understand this tragic tale, but
also that he may realise what it was that the opening of the door
revealed.
The whole house was built upon the plan
of a T, but a T with a very long cross piece and a very short tail
piece. The long cross piece was the frontage that ran along in face
of the street, with the front door in the middle; it was two stories
high, and contained nearly all the important rooms. The short tail
piece, which ran out at the back immediately opposite the front door,
was one story high, and consisted only of two long rooms, the one
leading into the other. The first of these two rooms was the study in
which the celebrated Mr. Quinton wrote his wild Oriental poems and
romances. The farther room was a glass conservatory full of tropical
blossoms of quite unique and almost monstrous beauty, and on such
afternoons as these glowing with gorgeous sunlight. Thus when the
hall door was open, many a passer-by literally stopped to stare and
gasp; for he looked down a perspective of rich apartments to
something really like a transformation scene in a fairy play: purple
clouds and golden suns and crimson stars that were at once
scorchingly vivid and yet transparent and far away.
Leonard Quinton, the poet, had himself
most carefully arranged this effect; and it is doubtful whether he so
perfectly expressed his personality in any of his poems. For he was a
man who drank and bathed in colours, who indulged his lust for colour
somewhat to the neglect of form—even of good form. This it was
that had turned his genius so wholly to eastern art and imagery; to
those bewildering carpets or blinding embroideries in which all the
colours seem fallen into a fortunate chaos, having nothing to typify
or to teach. He had attempted, not perhaps with complete artistic
success, but with acknowledged imagination and invention, to compose
epics and love stories reflecting the riot of violent and even cruel
colour; tales of tropical heavens of burning gold or blood-red
copper; of eastern heroes who rode with twelve-turbaned mitres upon
elephants painted purple or peacock green; of gigantic jewels that a
hundred negroes could not carry, but which burned with ancient and
strange-hued fires.
In short (to put the matter from the
more common point of view), he dealt much in eastern heavens, rather
worse than most western hells; in eastern monarchs, whom we might
possibly call maniacs; and in eastern jewels which a Bond Street
jeweller (if the hundred staggering negroes brought them into his
shop) might possibly not regard as genuine. Quinton was a genius, if
a morbid one; and even his morbidity appeared more in his life than
in his work. In temperament he was weak and waspish, and his health
had suffered heavily from oriental experiments with opium. His wife—a
handsome, hard-working, and, indeed, over-worked woman objected to
the opium, but objected much more to a live Indian hermit in white
and yellow robes, whom her husband insisted on entertaining for
months together, a Virgil to guide his spirit through the heavens and
the hells of the east.
It was out of this artistic household
that Father Brown and his friend stepped on to the door-step; and to
judge from their faces, they stepped out of it with much relief.
Flambeau had known Quinton in wild student days in Paris, and they
had renewed the acquaintance for a week-end; but apart from
Flambeau’s more responsible developments of late, he did not
get on well with the poet now. Choking oneself with opium and writing
little erotic verses on vellum was not his notion of how a gentleman
should go to the devil. As the two paused on the door-step, before
taking a turn in the garden, the front garden gate was thrown open
with violence, and a young man with a billycock hat on the back of
his head tumbled up the steps in his eagerness. He was a
dissipated-looking youth with a gorgeous red necktie all awry, as if
he had slept in it, and he kept fidgeting and lashing about with one
of those little jointed canes.
“I say,”
he said breathlessly, “I want to see old Quinton. I must see
him. Has he gone?”
“Mr. Quinton is
in, I believe,” said Father Brown, cleaning his pipe, “but
I do not know if you can see him. The doctor is with him at present.”
The young man, who seemed not to be
perfectly sober, stumbled into the hall; and at the same moment the
doctor came out of Quinton’s study, shutting the door and
beginning to put on his gloves.
“See Mr.
Quinton?” said the doctor coolly. “No, I’m afraid
you can’t. In fact, you mustn’t on any account. Nobody
must see him; I’ve just given him his sleeping draught.”
“No, but look
here, old chap,” said the youth in the red tie, trying
affectionately to capture the doctor by the lapels of his coat. “Look
here. I’m simply sewn up, I tell you. I—”
“It’s no
good, Mr. Atkinson,” said the doctor, forcing him to fall back;
“when you can alter the effects of a drug I’ll alter my
decision,” and, settling on his hat, he stepped out into the
sunlight with the other two. He was a bull-necked, good-tempered
little man with a small moustache, inexpressibly ordinary, yet giving
an impression of capacity.
The young man in the billycock, who did
not seem to be gifted with any tact in dealing with people beyond the
general idea of clutching hold of their coats, stood outside the
door, as dazed as if he had been thrown out bodily, and silently
watched the other three walk away together through the garden.
“That was a
sound, spanking lie I told just now,” remarked the medical man,
laughing. “In point of fact, poor Quinton doesn’t have
his sleeping draught for nearly half an hour. But I’m not going
to have him bothered with that little beast, who only wants to borrow
money that he wouldn’t pay back if he could. He’s a dirty
little scamp, though he is Mrs. Quinton’s brother, and she’s
as fine a woman as ever walked.”
“Yes,”
said Father Brown. “She’s a good woman.”
“So I propose
to hang about the garden till the creature has cleared off,”
went on the doctor, “and then I’ll go in to Quinton with
the medicine. Atkinson can’t get in, because I locked the
door.”
“In that case,
Dr. Harris,” said Flambeau, “we might as well walk round
at the back by the end of the conservatory. There’s no entrance
to it that way, but it’s worth seeing, even from the outside.”
“Yes, and I
might get a squint at my patient,” laughed the doctor, “for
he prefers to lie on an ottoman right at the end of the conservatory
amid all those blood-red poinsettias; it would give me the creeps.
But what are you doing?”
Father Brown had stopped for a moment,
and picked up out of the long grass, where it had almost been wholly
hidden, a queer, crooked Oriental knife, inlaid exquisitely in
coloured stones and metals.
“What is this?”
asked Father Brown, regarding it with some disfavour.
“Oh, Quinton’s,
I suppose,” said Dr. Harris carelessly; “he has all sorts
of Chinese knickknacks about the place. Or perhaps it belongs to that
mild Hindoo of his whom he keeps on a string.”
“What Hindoo?”
asked Father Brown, still staring at the dagger in his hand.
“Oh, some
Indian conjuror,” said the doctor lightly; “a fraud, of
course.”
“You don’t
believe in magic?” asked Father Brown, without looking up.
“O crickey!
magic!” said the doctor.
“It’s
very beautiful,” said the priest in a low, dreaming voice; “the
colours are very beautiful. But it’s the wrong shape.”
“What for?”
asked Flambeau, staring.
“For anything.
It’s the wrong shape in the abstract. Don’t you ever feel
that about Eastern art? The colours are intoxicatingly lovely; but
the shapes are mean and bad—deliberately mean and bad. I have
seen wicked things in a Turkey carpet.”
“Mon Dieu!”
cried Flambeau, laughing.
“They are
letters and symbols in a language I don’t know; but I know they
stand for evil words,” went on the priest, his voice growing
lower and lower. “The lines go wrong on purpose—like
serpents doubling to escape.”
“What the devil
are you talking about?” said the doctor with a loud laugh.
Flambeau spoke quietly to him in answer.
“The Father sometimes gets this mystic’s cloud on him,”
he said; “but I give you fair warning that I have never known
him to have it except when there was some evil quite near.”
“Oh, rats!”
said the scientist.
“Why, look at
it,” cried Father Brown, holding out the crooked knife at arm’s
length, as if it were some glittering snake. “Don’t you
see it is the wrong shape? Don’t you see that it has no hearty
and plain purpose? It does not point like a spear. It does not sweep
like a scythe. It does not look like a weapon. It looks like an
instrument of torture.”
“Well, as you
don’t seem to like it,” said the jolly Harris, “it
had better be taken back to its owner. Haven’t we come to the
end of this confounded conservatory yet? This house is the wrong
shape, if you like.”
“You don’t
understand,” said Father Brown, shaking his head. “The
shape of this house is quaint—it is even laughable. But there
is nothing wrong about it.”
As they spoke they came round the curve
of glass that ended the conservatory, an uninterrupted curve, for
there was neither door nor window by which to enter at that end. The
glass, however, was clear, and the sun still bright, though beginning
to set; and they could see not only the flamboyant blossoms inside,
but the frail figure of the poet in a brown velvet coat lying
languidly on the sofa, having, apparently, fallen half asleep over a
book. He was a pale, slight man, with loose, chestnut hair and a
fringe of beard that was the paradox of his face, for the beard made
him look less manly. These traits were well known to all three of
them; but even had it not been so, it may be doubted whether they
would have looked at Quinton just then. Their eyes were riveted on
another object.
Exactly in their path, immediately
outside the round end of the glass building, was standing a tall man,
whose drapery fell to his feet in faultless white, and whose bare,
brown skull, face, and neck gleamed in the setting sun like splendid
bronze. He was looking through the glass at the sleeper, and he was
more motionless than a mountain.
“Who is that?”
cried Father Brown, stepping back with a hissing intake of his
breath.
“Oh, it is only
that Hindoo humbug,” growled Harris; “but I don’t
know what the deuce he’s doing here.”
“It looks like
hypnotism,” said Flambeau, biting his black moustache.
“Why are you
unmedical fellows always talking bosh about hypnotism?” cried
the doctor. “It looks a deal more like burglary.”
“Well, we will
speak to it, at any rate,” said Flambeau, who was always for
action. One long stride took him to the place where the Indian stood.
Bowing from his great height, which overtopped even the Oriental’s,
he said with placid impudence:
“Good evening,
sir. Do you want anything?”
Quite slowly, like a great ship turning
into a harbour, the great yellow face turned, and looked at last over
its white shoulder. They were startled to see that its yellow eyelids
were quite sealed, as in sleep. “Thank you,” said the
face in excellent English. “I want nothing.” Then, half
opening the lids, so as to show a slit of opalescent eyeball, he
repeated, “I want nothing.” Then he opened his eyes wide
with a startling stare, said, “I want nothing,” and went
rustling away into the rapidly darkening garden.
“The Christian
is more modest,” muttered Father Brown; “he wants
something.”
“What on earth
was he doing?” asked Flambeau, knitting his black brows and
lowering his voice.
“I should like
to talk to you later,” said Father Brown.
The sunlight was still a reality, but it
was the red light of evening, and the bulk of the garden trees and
bushes grew blacker and blacker against it. They turned round the end
of the conservatory, and walked in silence down the other side to get
round to the front door. As they went they seemed to wake something,
as one startles a bird, in the deeper corner between the study and
the main building; and again they saw the white-robed fakir slide out
of the shadow, and slip round towards the front door. To their
surprise, however, he had not been alone. They found themselves
abruptly pulled up and forced to banish their bewilderment by the
appearance of Mrs. Quinton, with her heavy golden hair and square
pale face, advancing on them out of the twilight. She looked a little
stern, but was entirely courteous.
“Good evening,
Dr. Harris,” was all she said.
“Good evening,
Mrs. Quinton,” said the little doctor heartily. “I am
just going to give your husband his sleeping draught.”
“Yes,”
she said in a clear voice. “I think it is quite time.”
And she smiled at them, and went sweeping into the house.
“That woman’s
over-driven,” said Father Brown; “that’s the kind
of woman that does her duty for twenty years, and then does something
dreadful.”
The little doctor looked at him for the
first time with an eye of interest. “Did you ever study
medicine?” he asked.
“You have to
know something of the mind as well as the body,” answered the
priest; “we have to know something of the body as well as the
mind.”
“Well,”
said the doctor, “I think I’ll go and give Quinton his
stuff.”
They had turned the corner of the front
facade, and were approaching the front doorway. As they turned into
it they saw the man in the white robe for the third time. He came so
straight towards the front door that it seemed quite incredible that
he had not just come out of the study opposite to it. Yet they knew
that the study door was locked.
Father Brown and Flambeau, however, kept
this weird contradiction to themselves, and Dr. Harris was not a man
to waste his thoughts on the impossible. He permitted the omnipresent
Asiatic to make his exit, and then stepped briskly into the hall.
There he found a figure which he had already forgotten. The inane
Atkinson was still hanging about, humming and poking things with his
knobby cane. The doctor’s face had a spasm of disgust and
decision, and he whispered rapidly to his companion: “I must
lock the door again, or this rat will get in. But I shall be out
again in two minutes.”
He rapidly unlocked the door and locked
it again behind him, just balking a blundering charge from the young
man in the billycock. The young man threw himself impatiently on a
hall chair. Flambeau looked at a Persian illumination on the wall;
Father Brown, who seemed in a sort of daze, dully eyed the door. In
about four minutes the door was opened again. Atkinson was quicker
this time. He sprang forward, held the door open for an instant, and
called out: “Oh, I say, Quinton, I want—”
From the other end of the study came the
clear voice of Quinton, in something between a yawn and a yell of
weary laughter.
“Oh, I know
what you want. Take it, and leave me in peace. I’m writing a
song about peacocks.”
Before the door closed half a sovereign
came flying through the aperture; and Atkinson, stumbling forward,
caught it with singular dexterity.
“So that’s
settled,” said the doctor, and, locking the door savagely, he
led the way out into the garden.
“Poor Leonard
can get a little peace now,” he added to Father Brown; “he’s
locked in all by himself for an hour or two.”
“Yes,”
answered the priest; “and his voice sounded jolly enough when
we left him.” Then he looked gravely round the garden, and saw
the loose figure of Atkinson standing and jingling the half-sovereign
in his pocket, and beyond, in the purple twilight, the figure of the
Indian sitting bolt upright upon a bank of grass with his face turned
towards the setting sun. Then he said abruptly: “Where is Mrs.
Quinton!”
“She has gone
up to her room,” said the doctor. “That is her shadow on
the blind.”
Father Brown looked up, and frowningly
scrutinised a dark outline at the gas-lit window.
“Yes,” he
said, “that is her shadow,” and he walked a yard or two
and threw himself upon a garden seat.
Flambeau sat down beside him; but the
doctor was one of those energetic people who live naturally on their
legs. He walked away, smoking, into the twilight, and the two friends
were left together.
“My father,”
said Flambeau in French, “what is the matter with you?”
Father Brown was silent and motionless
for half a minute, then he said: “Superstition is irreligious,
but there is something in the air of this place. I think it’s
that Indian—at least, partly.”
He sank into silence, and watched the
distant outline of the Indian, who still sat rigid as if in prayer.
At first sight he seemed motionless, but as Father Brown watched him
he saw that the man swayed ever so slightly with a rhythmic movement,
just as the dark tree-tops swayed ever so slightly in the wind that
was creeping up the dim garden paths and shuffling the fallen leaves
a little.
The landscape was growing rapidly dark,
as if for a storm, but they could still see all the figures in their
various places. Atkinson was leaning against a tree with a listless
face; Quinton’s wife was still at her window; the doctor had
gone strolling round the end of the conservatory; they could see his
cigar like a will-o’-the-wisp; and the fakir still sat rigid
and yet rocking, while the trees above him began to rock and almost
to roar. Storm was certainly coming.
“When that
Indian spoke to us,” went on Brown in a conversational
undertone, “I had a sort of vision, a vision of him and all his
universe. Yet he only said the same thing three times. When first he
said ‘I want nothing,’ it meant only that he was
impenetrable, that Asia does not give itself away. Then he said
again, ‘I want nothing,’ and I knew that he meant that he
was sufficient to himself, like a cosmos, that he needed no God,
neither admitted any sins. And when he said the third time, ‘I
want nothing,’ he said it with blazing eyes. And I knew that he
meant literally what he said; that nothing was his desire and his
home; that he was weary for nothing as for wine; that annihilation,
the mere destruction of everything or anything—”
Two drops of rain fell; and for some
reason Flambeau started and looked up, as if they had stung him. And
the same instant the doctor down by the end of the conservatory began
running towards them, calling out something as he ran.
As he came among them like a bombshell
the restless Atkinson happened to be taking a turn nearer to the
house front; and the doctor clutched him by the collar in a
convulsive grip. “Foul play!” he cried; “what have
you been doing to him, you dog?”
The priest had sprung erect, and had the
voice of steel of a soldier in command.
“No fighting,”
he cried coolly; “we are enough to hold anyone we want to. What
is the matter, doctor?”
“Things are not
right with Quinton,” said the doctor, quite white. “I
could just see him through the glass, and I don’t like the way
he’s lying. It’s not as I left him, anyhow.”
“Let us go in
to him,” said Father Brown shortly. “You can leave Mr.
Atkinson alone. I have had him in sight since we heard Quinton’s
voice.”
“I will stop
here and watch him,” said Flambeau hurriedly. “You go in
and see.”
The doctor and the priest flew to the
study door, unlocked it, and fell into the room. In doing so they
nearly fell over the large mahogany table in the centre at which the
poet usually wrote; for the place was lit only by a small fire kept
for the invalid. In the middle of this table lay a single sheet of
paper, evidently left there on purpose. The doctor snatched it up,
glanced at it, handed it to Father Brown, and crying, “Good
God, look at that!” plunged toward the glass room beyond, where
the terrible tropic flowers still seemed to keep a crimson memory of
the sunset.
Father Brown read the words three times
before he put down the paper. The words were: “I die by my own
hand; yet I die murdered!” They were in the quite inimitable,
not to say illegible, handwriting of Leonard Quinton.
Then Father Brown, still keeping the
paper in his hand, strode towards the conservatory, only to meet his
medical friend coming back with a face of assurance and collapse.
“He’s done it,” said Harris.
They went together through the gorgeous
unnatural beauty of cactus and azalea and found Leonard Quinton, poet
and romancer, with his head hanging downward off his ottoman and his
red curls sweeping the ground. Into his left side was thrust the
queer dagger that they had picked up in the garden, and his limp hand
still rested on the hilt.
Outside the storm had come at one
stride, like the night in Coleridge, and garden and glass roof were
darkened with driving rain. Father Brown seemed to be studying the
paper more than the corpse; he held it close to his eyes; and seemed
trying to read it in the twilight. Then he held it up against the
faint light, and, as he did so, lightning stared at them for an
instant so white that the paper looked black against it.
Darkness full of thunder followed, and
after the thunder Father Brown’s voice said out of the dark:
“Doctor, this paper is the wrong shape.”
“What do you
mean?” asked Doctor Harris, with a frowning stare.
“It isn’t
square,” answered Brown. “It has a sort of edge snipped
off at the corner. What does it mean?”
“How the deuce
should I know?” growled the doctor. “Shall we move this
poor chap, do you think? He’s quite dead.”
“No,”
answered the priest; “we must leave him as he lies and send for
the police.” But he was still scrutinising the paper.
As they went back through the study he
stopped by the table and picked up a small pair of nail scissors.
“Ah,” he said, with a sort of relief, “this is what
he did it with. But yet—” And he knitted his brows.
“Oh, stop
fooling with that scrap of paper,” said the doctor
emphatically. “It was a fad of his. He had hundreds of them. He
cut all his paper like that,” as he pointed to a stack of
sermon paper still unused on another and smaller table. Father Brown
went up to it and held up a sheet. It was the same irregular shape.
“Quite so,”
he said. “And here I see the corners that were snipped off.”
And to the indignation of his colleague he began to count them.
“That’s
all right,” he said, with an apologetic smile. “Twenty-three
sheets cut and twenty-two corners cut off them. And as I see you are
impatient we will rejoin the others.”
“Who is to tell
his wife?” asked Dr. Harris. “Will you go and tell her
now, while I send a servant for the police?”
“As you will,”
said Father Brown indifferently. And he went out to the hall door.
Here also he found a drama, though of a
more grotesque sort. It showed nothing less than his big friend
Flambeau in an attitude to which he had long been unaccustomed, while
upon the pathway at the bottom of the steps was sprawling with his
boots in the air the amiable Atkinson, his billycock hat and walking
cane sent flying in opposite directions along the path. Atkinson had
at length wearied of Flambeau’s almost paternal custody, and
had endeavoured to knock him down, which was by no means a smooth
game to play with the Roi des Apaches, even after that monarch’s
abdication.
Flambeau was about to leap upon his
enemy and secure him once more, when the priest patted him easily on
the shoulder.
“Make it up
with Mr. Atkinson, my friend,” he said. “Beg a mutual
pardon and say ‘Good night.’ We need not detain him any
longer.” Then, as Atkinson rose somewhat doubtfully and
gathered his hat and stick and went towards the garden gate, Father
Brown said in a more serious voice: “Where is that Indian?”
They all three (for the doctor had
joined them) turned involuntarily towards the dim grassy bank amid
the tossing trees purple with twilight, where they had last seen the
brown man swaying in his strange prayers. The Indian was gone.
“Confound him,”
cried the doctor, stamping furiously. “Now I know that it was
that nigger that did it.”
“I thought you
didn’t believe in magic,” said Father Brown quietly.
“No more I
did,” said the doctor, rolling his eyes. “I only know
that I loathed that yellow devil when I thought he was a sham wizard.
And I shall loathe him more if I come to think he was a real one.”
“Well, his
having escaped is nothing,” said Flambeau. “For we could
have proved nothing and done nothing against him. One hardly goes to
the parish constable with a story of suicide imposed by witchcraft or
auto-suggestion.”
Meanwhile Father Brown had made his way
into the house, and now went to break the news to the wife of the
dead man.
When he came out again he looked a
little pale and tragic, but what passed between them in that
interview was never known, even when all was known.
Flambeau, who was talking quietly with
the doctor, was surprised to see his friend reappear so soon at his
elbow; but Brown took no notice, and merely drew the doctor apart.
“You have sent for the police, haven’t you?” he
asked.
“Yes,”
answered Harris. “They ought to be here in ten minutes.”
“Will you do me
a favour?” said the priest quietly. “The truth is, I make
a collection of these curious stories, which often contain, as in the
case of our Hindoo friend, elements which can hardly be put into a
police report. Now, I want you to write out a report of this case for
my private use. Yours is a clever trade,” he said, looking the
doctor gravely and steadily in the face. “I sometimes think
that you know some details of this matter which you have not thought
fit to mention. Mine is a confidential trade like yours, and I will
treat anything you write for me in strict confidence. But write the
whole.”
The doctor, who had been listening
thoughtfully with his head a little on one side, looked the priest in
the face for an instant, and said: “All right,” and went
into the study, closing the door behind him.
“Flambeau,”
said Father Brown, “there is a long seat there under the
veranda, where we can smoke out of the rain. You are my only friend
in the world, and I want to talk to you. Or, perhaps, be silent with
you.”
They established themselves comfortably
in the veranda seat; Father Brown, against his common habit, accepted
a good cigar and smoked it steadily in silence, while the rain
shrieked and rattled on the roof of the veranda.
“My friend,”
he said at length, “this is a very queer case. A very queer
case.”
“I should think
it was,” said Flambeau, with something like a shudder.
“You call it
queer, and I call it queer,” said the other, “and yet we
mean quite opposite things. The modern mind always mixes up two
different ideas: mystery in the sense of what is marvellous, and
mystery in the sense of what is complicated. That is half its
difficulty about miracles. A miracle is startling; but it is simple.
It is simple because it is a miracle. It is power coming directly
from God (or the devil) instead of indirectly through nature or human
wills. Now, you mean that this business is marvellous because it is
miraculous, because it is witchcraft worked by a wicked Indian.
Understand, I do not say that it was not spiritual or diabolic.
Heaven and hell only know by what surrounding influences strange sins
come into the lives of men. But for the present my point is this: If
it was pure magic, as you think, then it is marvellous; but it is not
mysterious—that is, it is not complicated. The quality of a
miracle is mysterious, but its manner is simple. Now, the manner of
this business has been the reverse of simple.”
The storm that had slackened for a
little seemed to be swelling again, and there came heavy movements as
of faint thunder. Father Brown let fall the ash of his cigar and went
on:
“There has been
in this incident,” he said, “a twisted, ugly, complex
quality that does not belong to the straight bolts either of heaven
or hell. As one knows the crooked track of a snail, I know the
crooked track of a man.”
The white lightning opened its enormous
eye in one wink, the sky shut up again, and the priest went on:
“Of all these
crooked things, the crookedest was the shape of that piece of paper.
It was crookeder than the dagger that killed him.”
“You mean the
paper on which Quinton confessed his suicide,” said Flambeau.
“I mean the
paper on which Quinton wrote, ‘I die by my own hand,’”
answered Father Brown. “The shape of that paper, my friend, was
the wrong shape; the wrong shape, if ever I have seen it in this
wicked world.”
“It only had a
corner snipped off,” said Flambeau, “and I understand
that all Quinton’s paper was cut that way.”
“It was a very
odd way,” said the other, “and a very bad way, to my
taste and fancy. Look here, Flambeau, this Quinton—God receive
his soul!—was perhaps a bit of a cur in some ways, but he
really was an artist, with the pencil as well as the pen. His
handwriting, though hard to read, was bold and beautiful. I can’t
prove what I say; I can’t prove anything. But I tell you with
the full force of conviction that he could never have cut that mean
little piece off a sheet of paper. If he had wanted to cut down paper
for some purpose of fitting in, or binding up, or what not, he would
have made quite a different slash with the scissors. Do you remember
the shape? It was a mean shape. It was a wrong shape. Like this.
Don’t you remember?”
And he waved his burning cigar before
him in the darkness, making irregular squares so rapidly that
Flambeau really seemed to see them as fiery hieroglyphics upon the
darkness—hieroglyphics such as his friend had spoken of, which
are undecipherable, yet can have no good meaning.
“But,”
said Flambeau, as the priest put his cigar in his mouth again and
leaned back, staring at the roof, “suppose somebody else did
use the scissors. Why should somebody else, cutting pieces off his
sermon paper, make Quinton commit suicide?”
Father Brown was still leaning back and
staring at the roof, but he took his cigar out of his mouth and said:
“Quinton never did commit suicide.”
Flambeau stared at him. “Why,
confound it all,” he cried, “then why did he confess to
suicide?”
The priest leant forward again, settled
his elbows on his knees, looked at the ground, and said, in a low,
distinct voice: “He never did confess to suicide.”
Flambeau laid his cigar down. “You
mean,” he said, “that the writing was forged?”
“No,”
said Father Brown. “Quinton wrote it all right.”
“Well, there
you are,” said the aggravated Flambeau; “Quinton wrote,
‘I die by my own hand,’ with his own hand on a plain
piece of paper.”
“Of the wrong
shape,” said the priest calmly.
“Oh, the shape
be damned!” cried Flambeau. “What has the shape to do
with it?”
“There were
twenty-three snipped papers,” resumed Brown unmoved, “and
only twenty-two pieces snipped off. Therefore one of the pieces had
been destroyed, probably that from the written paper. Does that
suggest anything to you?”
A light dawned on Flambeau’s face,
and he said: “There was something else written by Quinton, some
other words. ‘They will tell you I die by my own hand,’
or ‘Do not believe that—’”
“Hotter, as the
children say,” said his friend. “But the piece was hardly
half an inch across; there was no room for one word, let alone five.
Can you think of anything hardly bigger than a comma which the man
with hell in his heart had to tear away as a testimony against him?”
“I can think of
nothing,” said Flambeau at last.
“What about
quotation marks?” said the priest, and flung his cigar far into
the darkness like a shooting star.
All words had left the other man’s
mouth, and Father Brown said, like one going back to fundamentals:
“Leonard
Quinton was a romancer, and was writing an Oriental romance about
wizardry and hypnotism. He—”
At this moment the door opened briskly
behind them, and the doctor came out with his hat on. He put a long
envelope into the priest’s hands.
“That’s
the document you wanted,” he said, “and I must be getting
home. Good night.”
“Good night,”
said Father Brown, as the doctor walked briskly to the gate. He had
left the front door open, so that a shaft of gaslight fell upon them.
In the light of this Brown opened the envelope and read the following
words:
DEAR FATHER BROWN,—Vicisti
Galilee. Otherwise, damn your eyes, which are very penetrating ones.
Can it be possible that there is something in all that stuff of yours
after all?
I am a man who has ever since boyhood
believed in Nature and in all natural functions and instincts,
whether men called them moral or immoral. Long before I became a
doctor, when I was a schoolboy keeping mice and spiders, I believed
that to be a good animal is the best thing in the world. But just now
I am shaken; I have believed in Nature; but it seems as if Nature
could betray a man. Can there be anything in your bosh? I am really
getting morbid.
I loved Quinton’s wife. What
was there wrong in that? Nature told me to, and it’s love that
makes the world go round. I also thought quite sincerely that she
would be happier with a clean animal like me than with that
tormenting little lunatic. What was there wrong in that? I was only
facing facts, like a man of science. She would have been happier.
According to my own creed I was quite
free to kill Quinton, which was the best thing for everybody, even
himself. But as a healthy animal I had no notion of killing myself. I
resolved, therefore, that I would never do it until I saw a chance
that would leave me scot free. I saw that chance this morning.
I have been three times, all told,
into Quinton’s study today. The first time I went in he would
talk about nothing but the weird tale, called “The Cure of a
Saint,” which he was writing, which was all about how some
Indian hermit made an English colonel kill himself by thinking about
him. He showed me the last sheets, and even read me the last
paragraph, which was something like this: “The conqueror of the
Punjab, a mere yellow skeleton, but still gigantic, managed to lift
himself on his elbow and gasp in his nephew’s ear: ‘I die
by my own hand, yet I die murdered!’” It so happened by
one chance out of a hundred, that those last words were written at
the top of a new sheet of paper. I left the room, and went out into
the garden intoxicated with a frightful opportunity.
We walked round the house; and two
more things happened in my favour. You suspected an Indian, and you
found a dagger which the Indian might most probably use. Taking the
opportunity to stuff it in my pocket I went back to Quinton’s
study, locked the door, and gave him his sleeping draught. He was
against answering Atkinson at all, but I urged him to call out and
quiet the fellow, because I wanted a clear proof that Quinton was
alive when I left the room for the second time. Quinton lay down in
the conservatory, and I came through the study. I am a quick man with
my hands, and in a minute and a half I had done what I wanted to do.
I had emptied all the first part of Quinton’s romance into the
fireplace, where it burnt to ashes. Then I saw that the quotation
marks wouldn’t do, so I snipped them off, and to make it seem
likelier, snipped the whole quire to match. Then I came out with the
knowledge that Quinton’s confession of suicide lay on the front
table, while Quinton lay alive but asleep in the conservatory beyond.
The last act was a desperate one; you
can guess it: I pretended to have seen Quinton dead and rushed to his
room. I delayed you with the paper, and, being a quick man with my
hands, killed Quinton while you were looking at his confession of
suicide. He was half-asleep, being drugged, and I put his own hand on
the knife and drove it into his body. The knife was of so queer a
shape that no one but an operator could have calculated the angle
that would reach his heart. I wonder if you noticed this.
When I had done it, the extraordinary
thing happened. Nature deserted me. I felt ill. I felt just as if I
had done something wrong. I think my brain is breaking up; I feel
some sort of desperate pleasure in thinking I have told the thing to
somebody; that I shall not have to be alone with it if I marry and
have children. What is the matter with me? . . . Madness . . . or can
one have remorse, just as if one were in Byron’s poems! I
cannot write any more.
James
Erskine Harris.
Father Brown carefully folded up the
letter, and put it in his breast pocket just as there came a loud
peal at the gate bell, and the wet waterproofs of several policemen
gleamed in the road outside.
The Sins of Prince Saradine
When Flambeau took his month’s
holiday from his office in Westminster he took it in a small
sailing-boat, so small that it passed much of its time as a
rowing-boat. He took it, moreover, in little rivers in the Eastern
counties, rivers so small that the boat looked like a magic boat,
sailing on land through meadows and cornfields. The vessel was just
comfortable for two people; there was room only for necessities, and
Flambeau had stocked it with such things as his special philosophy
considered necessary. They reduced themselves, apparently, to four
essentials: tins of salmon, if he should want to eat; loaded
revolvers, if he should want to fight; a bottle of brandy, presumably
in case he should faint; and a priest, presumably in case he should
die. With this light luggage he crawled down the little Norfolk
rivers, intending to reach the Broads at last, but meanwhile
delighting in the overhanging gardens and meadows, the mirrored
mansions or villages, lingering to fish in the pools and corners, and
in some sense hugging the shore.
Like a true philosopher, Flambeau had no
aim in his holiday; but, like a true philosopher, he had an excuse.
He had a sort of half purpose, which he took just so seriously that
its success would crown the holiday, but just so lightly that its
failure would not spoil it. Years ago, when he had been a king of
thieves and the most famous figure in Paris, he had often received
wild communications of approval, denunciation, or even love; but one
had, somehow, stuck in his memory. It consisted simply of a
visiting-card, in an envelope with an English postmark. On the back
of the card was written in French and in green ink: “If you
ever retire and become respectable, come and see me. I want to meet
you, for I have met all the other great men of my time. That trick of
yours of getting one detective to arrest the other was the most
splendid scene in French history.” On the front of the card was
engraved in the formal fashion, “Prince Saradine, Reed House,
Reed Island, Norfolk.”
He had not troubled much about the
prince then, beyond ascertaining that he had been a brilliant and
fashionable figure in southern Italy. In his youth, it was said, he
had eloped with a married woman of high rank; the escapade was
scarcely startling in his social world, but it had clung to men’s
minds because of an additional tragedy: the alleged suicide of the
insulted husband, who appeared to have flung himself over a precipice
in Sicily. The prince then lived in Vienna for a time, but his more
recent years seemed to have been passed in perpetual and restless
travel. But when Flambeau, like the prince himself, had left European
celebrity and settled in England, it occurred to him that he might
pay a surprise visit to this eminent exile in the Norfolk Broads.
Whether he should find the place he had no idea; and, indeed, it was
sufficiently small and forgotten. But, as things fell out, he found
it much sooner than he expected.
They had moored their boat one night
under a bank veiled in high grasses and short pollarded trees. Sleep,
after heavy sculling, had come to them early, and by a corresponding
accident they awoke before it was light. To speak more strictly, they
awoke before it was daylight; for a large lemon moon was only just
setting in the forest of high grass above their heads, and the sky
was of a vivid violet-blue, nocturnal but bright. Both men had
simultaneously a reminiscence of childhood, of the elfin and
adventurous time when tall weeds close over us like woods. Standing
up thus against the large low moon, the daisies really seemed to be
giant daisies, the dandelions to be giant dandelions. Somehow it
reminded them of the dado of a nursery wall-paper. The drop of the
river-bed sufficed to sink them under the roots of all shrubs and
flowers and make them gaze upwards at the grass. “By Jove!”
said Flambeau, “it’s like being in fairyland.”
Father Brown sat bolt upright in the
boat and crossed himself. His movement was so abrupt that his friend
asked him, with a mild stare, what was the matter.
“The people who
wrote the mediaeval ballads,” answered the priest, “knew
more about fairies than you do. It isn’t only nice things that
happen in fairyland.”
“Oh, bosh!”
said Flambeau. “Only nice things could happen under such an
innocent moon. I am for pushing on now and seeing what does really
come. We may die and rot before we ever see again such a moon or such
a mood.”
“All right,”
said Father Brown. “I never said it was always wrong to enter
fairyland. I only said it was always dangerous.”
They pushed slowly up the brightening
river; the glowing violet of the sky and the pale gold of the moon
grew fainter and fainter, and faded into that vast colourless cosmos
that precedes the colours of the dawn. When the first faint stripes
of red and gold and grey split the horizon from end to end they were
broken by the black bulk of a town or village which sat on the river
just ahead of them. It was already an easy twilight, in which all
things were visible, when they came under the hanging roofs and
bridges of this riverside hamlet. The houses, with their long, low,
stooping roofs, seemed to come down to drink at the river, like huge
grey and red cattle. The broadening and whitening dawn had already
turned to working daylight before they saw any living creature on the
wharves and bridges of that silent town. Eventually they saw a very
placid and prosperous man in his shirt sleeves, with a face as round
as the recently sunken moon, and rays of red whisker around the low
arc of it, who was leaning on a post above the sluggish tide. By an
impulse not to be analysed, Flambeau rose to his full height in the
swaying boat and shouted at the man to ask if he knew Reed Island or
Reed House. The prosperous man’s smile grew slightly more
expansive, and he simply pointed up the river towards the next bend
of it. Flambeau went ahead without further speech.
The boat took many such grassy corners
and followed many such reedy and silent reaches of river; but before
the search had become monotonous they had swung round a specially
sharp angle and come into the silence of a sort of pool or lake, the
sight of which instinctively arrested them. For in the middle of this
wider piece of water, fringed on every side with rushes, lay a long,
low islet, along which ran a long, low house or bungalow built of
bamboo or some kind of tough tropic cane. The upstanding rods of
bamboo which made the walls were pale yellow, the sloping rods that
made the roof were of darker red or brown, otherwise the long house
was a thing of repetition and monotony. The early morning breeze
rustled the reeds round the island and sang in the strange ribbed
house as in a giant pan-pipe.
“By George!”
cried Flambeau; “here is the place, after all! Here is Reed
Island, if ever there was one. Here is Reed House, if it is anywhere.
I believe that fat man with whiskers was a fairy.”
“Perhaps,”
remarked Father Brown impartially. “If he was, he was a bad
fairy.”
But even as he spoke the impetuous
Flambeau had run his boat ashore in the rattling reeds, and they
stood in the long, quaint islet beside the odd and silent house.
The house stood with its back, as it
were, to the river and the only landing-stage; the main entrance was
on the other side, and looked down the long island garden. The
visitors approached it, therefore, by a small path running round
nearly three sides of the house, close under the low eaves. Through
three different windows on three different sides they looked in on
the same long, well-lit room, panelled in light wood, with a large
number of looking-glasses, and laid out as for an elegant lunch. The
front door, when they came round to it at last, was flanked by two
turquoise-blue flower pots. It was opened by a butler of the drearier
type—long, lean, grey and listless—who murmured that
Prince Saradine was from home at present, but was expected hourly;
the house being kept ready for him and his guests. The exhibition of
the card with the scrawl of green ink awoke a flicker of life in the
parchment face of the depressed retainer, and it was with a certain
shaky courtesy that he suggested that the strangers should remain.
“His Highness may be here any minute,” he said, “and
would be distressed to have just missed any gentleman he had invited.
We have orders always to keep a little cold lunch for him and his
friends, and I am sure he would wish it to be offered.”
Moved with curiosity to this minor
adventure, Flambeau assented gracefully, and followed the old man,
who ushered him ceremoniously into the long, lightly panelled room.
There was nothing very notable about it, except the rather unusual
alternation of many long, low windows with many long, low oblongs of
looking-glass, which gave a singular air of lightness and
unsubstantialness to the place. It was somehow like lunching out of
doors. One or two pictures of a quiet kind hung in the corners, one a
large grey photograph of a very young man in uniform, another a red
chalk sketch of two long-haired boys. Asked by Flambeau whether the
soldierly person was the prince, the butler answered shortly in the
negative; it was the prince’s younger brother, Captain Stephen
Saradine, he said. And with that the old man seemed to dry up
suddenly and lose all taste for conversation.
After lunch had tailed off with
exquisite coffee and liqueurs, the guests were introduced to the
garden, the library, and the housekeeper—a dark, handsome lady,
of no little majesty, and rather like a plutonic Madonna. It appeared
that she and the butler were the only survivors of the prince’s
original foreign menage the other servants now in the house being new
and collected in Norfolk by the housekeeper. This latter lady went by
the name of Mrs. Anthony, but she spoke with a slight Italian accent,
and Flambeau did not doubt that Anthony was a Norfolk version of some
more Latin name. Mr. Paul, the butler, also had a faintly foreign
air, but he was in tongue and training English, as are many of the
most polished men-servants of the cosmopolitan nobility.
Pretty and unique as it was, the place
had about it a curious luminous sadness. Hours passed in it like
days. The long, well-windowed rooms were full of daylight, but it
seemed a dead daylight. And through all other incidental noises, the
sound of talk, the clink of glasses, or the passing feet of servants,
they could hear on all sides of the house the melancholy noise of the
river.
“We have taken
a wrong turning, and come to a wrong place,” said Father Brown,
looking out of the window at the grey-green sedges and the silver
flood. “Never mind; one can sometimes do good by being the
right person in the wrong place.”
Father Brown, though commonly a silent,
was an oddly sympathetic little man, and in those few but endless
hours he unconsciously sank deeper into the secrets of Reed House
than his professional friend. He had that knack of friendly silence
which is so essential to gossip; and saying scarcely a word, he
probably obtained from his new acquaintances all that in any case
they would have told. The butler indeed was naturally
uncommunicative. He betrayed a sullen and almost animal affection for
his master; who, he said, had been very badly treated. The chief
offender seemed to be his highness’s brother, whose name alone
would lengthen the old man’s lantern jaws and pucker his parrot
nose into a sneer. Captain Stephen was a ne’er-do-weel,
apparently, and had drained his benevolent brother of hundreds and
thousands; forced him to fly from fashionable life and live quietly
in this retreat. That was all Paul, the butler, would say, and Paul
was obviously a partisan.
The Italian housekeeper was somewhat
more communicative, being, as Brown fancied, somewhat less content.
Her tone about her master was faintly acid; though not without a
certain awe. Flambeau and his friend were standing in the room of the
looking-glasses examining the red sketch of the two boys, when the
housekeeper swept in swiftly on some domestic errand. It was a
peculiarity of this glittering, glass-panelled place that anyone
entering was reflected in four or five mirrors at once; and Father
Brown, without turning round, stopped in the middle of a sentence of
family criticism. But Flambeau, who had his face close up to the
picture, was already saying in a loud voice, “The brothers
Saradine, I suppose. They both look innocent enough. It would be hard
to say which is the good brother and which the bad.” Then,
realising the lady’s presence, he turned the conversation with
some triviality, and strolled out into the garden. But Father Brown
still gazed steadily at the red crayon sketch; and Mrs. Anthony still
gazed steadily at Father Brown.
She had large and tragic brown eyes, and
her olive face glowed darkly with a curious and painful wonder—as
of one doubtful of a stranger’s identity or purpose. Whether
the little priest’s coat and creed touched some southern
memories of confession, or whether she fancied he knew more than he
did, she said to him in a low voice as to a fellow plotter, “He
is right enough in one way, your friend. He says it would be hard to
pick out the good and bad brothers. Oh, it would be hard, it would be
mighty hard, to pick out the good one.”
“I don’t
understand you,” said Father Brown, and began to move away.
The woman took a step nearer to him,
with thunderous brows and a sort of savage stoop, like a bull
lowering his horns.
“There isn’t
a good one,” she hissed. “There was badness enough in the
captain taking all that money, but I don’t think there was much
goodness in the prince giving it. The captain’s not the only
one with something against him.”
A light dawned on the cleric’s
averted face, and his mouth formed silently the word “blackmail.”
Even as he did so the woman turned an abrupt white face over her
shoulder and almost fell. The door had opened soundlessly and the
pale Paul stood like a ghost in the doorway. By the weird trick of
the reflecting walls, it seemed as if five Pauls had entered by five
doors simultaneously.
“His Highness,”
he said, “has just arrived.”
In the same flash the figure of a man
had passed outside the first window, crossing the sunlit pane like a
lighted stage. An instant later he passed at the second window and
the many mirrors repainted in successive frames the same eagle
profile and marching figure. He was erect and alert, but his hair was
white and his complexion of an odd ivory yellow. He had that short,
curved Roman nose which generally goes with long, lean cheeks and
chin, but these were partly masked by moustache and imperial. The
moustache was much darker than the beard, giving an effect slightly
theatrical, and he was dressed up to the same dashing part, having a
white top hat, an orchid in his coat, a yellow waistcoat and yellow
gloves which he flapped and swung as he walked. When he came round to
the front door they heard the stiff Paul open it, and heard the new
arrival say cheerfully, “Well, you see I have come.” The
stiff Mr. Paul bowed and answered in his inaudible manner; for a few
minutes their conversation could not be heard. Then the butler said,
“Everything is at your disposal;” and the glove-flapping
Prince Saradine came gaily into the room to greet them. They beheld
once more that spectral scene—five princes entering a room with
five doors.
The prince put the white hat and yellow
gloves on the table and offered his hand quite cordially.
“Delighted to
see you here, Mr. Flambeau,” he said. “Knowing you very
well by reputation, if that’s not an indiscreet remark.”
“Not at all,”
answered Flambeau, laughing. “I am not sensitive. Very few
reputations are gained by unsullied virtue.”
The prince flashed a sharp look at him
to see if the retort had any personal point; then he laughed also and
offered chairs to everyone, including himself.
“Pleasant
little place, this, I think,” he said with a detached air. “Not
much to do, I fear; but the fishing is really good.”
The priest, who was staring at him with
the grave stare of a baby, was haunted by some fancy that escaped
definition. He looked at the grey, carefully curled hair, yellow
white visage, and slim, somewhat foppish figure. These were not
unnatural, though perhaps a shade prononcé, like the outfit of
a figure behind the footlights. The nameless interest lay in
something else, in the very framework of the face; Brown was
tormented with a half memory of having seen it somewhere before. The
man looked like some old friend of his dressed up. Then he suddenly
remembered the mirrors, and put his fancy down to some psychological
effect of that multiplication of human masks.
Prince Saradine distributed his social
attentions between his guests with great gaiety and tact. Finding the
detective of a sporting turn and eager to employ his holiday, he
guided Flambeau and Flambeau’s boat down to the best fishing
spot in the stream, and was back in his own canoe in twenty minutes
to join Father Brown in the library and plunge equally politely into
the priest’s more philosophic pleasures. He seemed to know a
great deal both about the fishing and the books, though of these not
the most edifying; he spoke five or six languages, though chiefly the
slang of each. He had evidently lived in varied cities and very
motley societies, for some of his cheerfullest stories were about
gambling hells and opium dens, Australian bushrangers or Italian
brigands. Father Brown knew that the once-celebrated Saradine had
spent his last few years in almost ceaseless travel, but he had not
guessed that the travels were so disreputable or so amusing.
Indeed, with all his dignity of a man of
the world, Prince Saradine radiated to such sensitive observers as
the priest, a certain atmosphere of the restless and even the
unreliable. His face was fastidious, but his eye was wild; he had
little nervous tricks, like a man shaken by drink or drugs, and he
neither had, nor professed to have, his hand on the helm of household
affairs. All these were left to the two old servants, especially to
the butler, who was plainly the central pillar of the house. Mr.
Paul, indeed, was not so much a butler as a sort of steward or, even,
chamberlain; he dined privately, but with almost as much pomp as his
master; he was feared by all the servants; and he consulted with the
prince decorously, but somewhat unbendingly—rather as if he
were the prince’s solicitor. The sombre housekeeper was a mere
shadow in comparison; indeed, she seemed to efface herself and wait
only on the butler, and Brown heard no more of those volcanic
whispers which had half told him of the younger brother who
blackmailed the elder. Whether the prince was really being thus bled
by the absent captain, he could not be certain, but there was
something insecure and secretive about Saradine that made the tale by
no means incredible.
When they went once more into the long
hall with the windows and the mirrors, yellow evening was dropping
over the waters and the willowy banks; and a bittern sounded in the
distance like an elf upon his dwarfish drum. The same singular
sentiment of some sad and evil fairyland crossed the priest’s
mind again like a little grey cloud. “I wish Flambeau were
back,” he muttered.
“Do you believe
in doom?” asked the restless Prince Saradine suddenly.
“No,”
answered his guest. “I believe in Doomsday.”
The prince turned from the window and
stared at him in a singular manner, his face in shadow against the
sunset. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean that we
here are on the wrong side of the tapestry,” answered Father
Brown. “The things that happen here do not seem to mean
anything; they mean something somewhere else. Somewhere else
retribution will come on the real offender. Here it often seems to
fall on the wrong person.”
The prince made an inexplicable noise
like an animal; in his shadowed face the eyes were shining queerly. A
new and shrewd thought exploded silently in the other’s mind.
Was there another meaning in Saradine’s blend of brilliancy and
abruptness? Was the prince—Was he perfectly sane? He was
repeating, “The wrong person—the wrong person,”
many more times than was natural in a social exclamation.
Then Father Brown awoke tardily to a
second truth. In the mirrors before him he could see the silent door
standing open, and the silent Mr. Paul standing in it, with his usual
pallid impassiveness.
“I thought it
better to announce at once,” he said, with the same stiff
respectfulness as of an old family lawyer, “a boat rowed by six
men has come to the landing-stage, and there’s a gentleman
sitting in the stern.”
“A boat!”
repeated the prince; “a gentleman?” and he rose to his
feet.
There was a startled silence punctuated
only by the odd noise of the bird in the sedge; and then, before
anyone could speak again, a new face and figure passed in profile
round the three sunlit windows, as the prince had passed an hour or
two before. But except for the accident that both outlines were
aquiline, they had little in common. Instead of the new white topper
of Saradine, was a black one of antiquated or foreign shape; under it
was a young and very solemn face, clean shaven, blue about its
resolute chin, and carrying a faint suggestion of the young Napoleon.
The association was assisted by something old and odd about the whole
get-up, as of a man who had never troubled to change the fashions of
his fathers. He had a shabby blue frock coat, a red, soldierly
looking waistcoat, and a kind of coarse white trousers common among
the early Victorians, but strangely incongruous today. From all this
old clothes-shop his olive face stood out strangely young and
monstrously sincere.
“The deuce!”
said Prince Saradine, and clapping on his white hat he went to the
front door himself, flinging it open on the sunset garden.
By that time the new-comer and his
followers were drawn up on the lawn like a small stage army. The six
boatmen had pulled the boat well up on shore, and were guarding it
almost menacingly, holding their oars erect like spears. They were
swarthy men, and some of them wore earrings. But one of them stood
forward beside the olive-faced young man in the red waistcoat, and
carried a large black case of unfamiliar form.
“Your name,”
said the young man, “is Saradine?”
Saradine assented rather negligently.
The new-comer had dull, dog-like brown
eyes, as different as possible from the restless and glittering grey
eyes of the prince. But once again Father Brown was tortured with a
sense of having seen somewhere a replica of the face; and once again
he remembered the repetitions of the glass-panelled room, and put
down the coincidence to that. “Confound this crystal palace!”
he muttered. “One sees everything too many times. It’s
like a dream.”
“If you are
Prince Saradine,” said the young man, “I may tell you
that my name is Antonelli.”
“Antonelli,”
repeated the prince languidly. “Somehow I remember the name.”
“Permit me to
present myself,” said the young Italian.
With his left hand he politely took off
his old-fashioned top-hat; with his right he caught Prince Saradine
so ringing a crack across the face that the white top hat rolled down
the steps and one of the blue flower-pots rocked upon its pedestal.
The prince, whatever he was, was
evidently not a coward; he sprang at his enemy’s throat and
almost bore him backwards to the grass. But his enemy extricated
himself with a singularly inappropriate air of hurried politeness.
“That is all
right,” he said, panting and in halting English. “I have
insulted. I will give satisfaction. Marco, open the case.”
The man beside him with the earrings and
the big black case proceeded to unlock it. He took out of it two long
Italian rapiers, with splendid steel hilts and blades, which he
planted point downwards in the lawn. The strange young man standing
facing the entrance with his yellow and vindictive face, the two
swords standing up in the turf like two crosses in a cemetery, and
the line of the ranked towers behind, gave it all an odd appearance
of being some barbaric court of justice. But everything else was
unchanged, so sudden had been the interruption. The sunset gold still
glowed on the lawn, and the bittern still boomed as announcing some
small but dreadful destiny.
“Prince
Saradine,” said the man called Antonelli, “when I was an
infant in the cradle you killed my father and stole my mother; my
father was the more fortunate. You did not kill him fairly, as I am
going to kill you. You and my wicked mother took him driving to a
lonely pass in Sicily, flung him down a cliff, and went on your way.
I could imitate you if I chose, but imitating you is too vile. I have
followed you all over the world, and you have always fled from me.
But this is the end of the world—and of you. I have you now,
and I give you the chance you never gave my father. Choose one of
those swords.”
Prince Saradine, with contracted brows,
seemed to hesitate a moment, but his ears were still singing with the
blow, and he sprang forward and snatched at one of the hilts. Father
Brown had also sprung forward, striving to compose the dispute; but
he soon found his personal presence made matters worse. Saradine was
a French freemason and a fierce atheist, and a priest moved him by
the law of contraries. And for the other man neither priest nor
layman moved him at all. This young man with the Bonaparte face and
the brown eyes was something far sterner than a puritan—a
pagan. He was a simple slayer from the morning of the earth; a man of
the stone age—a man of stone.
One hope remained, the summoning of the
household; and Father Brown ran back into the house. He found,
however, that all the under servants had been given a holiday ashore
by the autocrat Paul, and that only the sombre Mrs. Anthony moved
uneasily about the long rooms. But the moment she turned a ghastly
face upon him, he resolved one of the riddles of the house of
mirrors. The heavy brown eyes of Antonelli were the heavy brown eyes
of Mrs. Anthony; and in a flash he saw half the story.
“Your son is
outside,” he said without wasting words; “either he or
the prince will be killed. Where is Mr. Paul?”
“He is at the
landing-stage,” said the woman faintly. “He is—he
is—signalling for help.”
“Mrs. Anthony,”
said Father Brown seriously, “there is no time for nonsense. My
friend has his boat down the river fishing. Your son’s boat is
guarded by your son’s men. There is only this one canoe; what
is Mr. Paul doing with it?”
“Santa Maria! I
do not know,” she said; and swooned all her length on the
matted floor.
Father Brown lifted her to a sofa, flung
a pot of water over her, shouted for help, and then rushed down to
the landing-stage of the little island. But the canoe was already in
mid-stream, and old Paul was pulling and pushing it up the river with
an energy incredible at his years.
“I will save my
master,” he cried, his eyes blazing maniacally. “I will
save him yet!”
Father Brown could do nothing but gaze
after the boat as it struggled up-stream and pray that the old man
might waken the little town in time.
“A duel is bad
enough,” he muttered, rubbing up his rough dust-coloured hair,
“but there’s something wrong about this duel, even as a
duel. I feel it in my bones. But what can it be?”
As he stood staring at the water, a
wavering mirror of sunset, he heard from the other end of the island
garden a small but unmistakable sound—the cold concussion of
steel. He turned his head.
Away on the farthest cape or headland of
the long islet, on a strip of turf beyond the last rank of roses, the
duellists had already crossed swords. Evening above them was a dome
of virgin gold, and, distant as they were, every detail was picked
out. They had cast off their coats, but the yellow waistcoat and
white hair of Saradine, the red waistcoat and white trousers of
Antonelli, glittered in the level light like the colours of the
dancing clockwork dolls. The two swords sparkled from point to pommel
like two diamond pins. There was something frightful in the two
figures appearing so little and so gay. They looked like two
butterflies trying to pin each other to a cork.
Father Brown ran as hard as he could,
his little legs going like a wheel. But when he came to the field of
combat he found he was born too late and too early—too late to
stop the strife, under the shadow of the grim Sicilians leaning on
their oars, and too early to anticipate any disastrous issue of it.
For the two men were singularly well matched, the prince using his
skill with a sort of cynical confidence, the Sicilian using his with
a murderous care. Few finer fencing matches can ever have been seen
in crowded amphitheatres than that which tinkled and sparkled on that
forgotten island in the reedy river. The dizzy fight was balanced so
long that hope began to revive in the protesting priest; by all
common probability Paul must soon come back with the police. It would
be some comfort even if Flambeau came back from his fishing, for
Flambeau, physically speaking, was worth four other men. But there
was no sign of Flambeau, and, what was much queerer, no sign of Paul
or the police. No other raft or stick was left to float on; in that
lost island in that vast nameless pool, they were cut off as on a
rock in the Pacific.
Almost as he had the thought the ringing
of the rapiers quickened to a rattle, the prince’s arms flew
up, and the point shot out behind between his shoulder-blades. He
went over with a great whirling movement, almost like one throwing
the half of a boy’s cart-wheel. The sword flew from his hand
like a shooting star, and dived into the distant river. And he
himself sank with so earth-shaking a subsidence that he broke a big
rose-tree with his body and shook up into the sky a cloud of red
earth—like the smoke of some heathen sacrifice. The Sicilian
had made blood-offering to the ghost of his father.
The priest was instantly on his knees by
the corpse; but only to make too sure that it was a corpse. As he was
still trying some last hopeless tests he heard for the first time
voices from farther up the river, and saw a police boat shoot up to
the landing-stage, with constables and other important people,
including the excited Paul. The little priest rose with a distinctly
dubious grimace.
“Now, why on
earth,” he muttered, “why on earth couldn’t he have
come before?”
Some seven minutes later the island was
occupied by an invasion of townsfolk and police, and the latter had
put their hands on the victorious duellist, ritually reminding him
that anything he said might be used against him.
“I shall not
say anything,” said the monomaniac, with a wonderful and
peaceful face. “I shall never say anything more. I am very
happy, and I only want to be hanged.”
Then he shut his mouth as they led him
away, and it is the strange but certain truth that he never opened it
again in this world, except to say “Guilty” at his trial.
Father Brown had stared at the suddenly
crowded garden, the arrest of the man of blood, the carrying away of
the corpse after its examination by the doctor, rather as one watches
the break-up of some ugly dream; he was motionless, like a man in a
nightmare. He gave his name and address as a witness, but declined
their offer of a boat to the shore, and remained alone in the island
garden, gazing at the broken rose bush and the whole green theatre of
that swift and inexplicable tragedy. The light died along the river;
mist rose in the marshy banks; a few belated birds flitted fitfully
across.
Stuck stubbornly in his
sub-consciousness (which was an unusually lively one) was an
unspeakable certainty that there was something still unexplained.
This sense that had clung to him all day could not be fully explained
by his fancy about “looking-glass land.” Somehow he had
not seen the real story, but some game or masque. And yet people do
not get hanged or run through the body for the sake of a charade.
As he sat on the steps of the
landing-stage ruminating he grew conscious of the tall, dark streak
of a sail coming silently down the shining river, and sprang to his
feet with such a backrush of feeling that he almost wept.
“Flambeau!”
he cried, and shook his friend by both hands again and again, much to
the astonishment of that sportsman, as he came on shore with his
fishing tackle. “Flambeau,” he said, “so you’re
not killed?”
“Killed!”
repeated the angler in great astonishment. “And why should I be
killed?”
“Oh, because
nearly everybody else is,” said his companion rather wildly.
“Saradine got murdered, and Antonelli wants to be hanged, and
his mother’s fainted, and I, for one, don’t know whether
I’m in this world or the next. But, thank God, you’re in
the same one.” And he took the bewildered Flambeau’s arm.
As they turned from the landing-stage
they came under the eaves of the low bamboo house, and looked in
through one of the windows, as they had done on their first arrival.
They beheld a lamp-lit interior well calculated to arrest their eyes.
The table in the long dining-room had been laid for dinner when
Saradine’s destroyer had fallen like a stormbolt on the island.
And the dinner was now in placid progress, for Mrs. Anthony sat
somewhat sullenly at the foot of the table, while at the head of it
was Mr. Paul, the major domo, eating and drinking of the best, his
bleared, bluish eyes standing queerly out of his face, his gaunt
countenance inscrutable, but by no means devoid of satisfaction.
With a gesture of powerful impatience,
Flambeau rattled at the window, wrenched it open, and put an
indignant head into the lamp-lit room.
“Well,”
he cried. “I can understand you may need some refreshment, but
really to steal your master’s dinner while he lies murdered in
the garden—”
“I have stolen
a great many things in a long and pleasant life,” replied the
strange old gentleman placidly; “this dinner is one of the few
things I have not stolen. This dinner and this house and garden
happen to belong to me.”
A thought flashed across Flambeau’s
face. “You mean to say,” he began, “that the will
of Prince Saradine—”
“I am Prince
Saradine,” said the old man, munching a salted almond.
Father Brown, who was looking at the
birds outside, jumped as if he were shot, and put in at the window a
pale face like a turnip.
“You are what?”
he repeated in a shrill voice.
“Paul, Prince
Saradine, A vos ordres,” said the venerable person politely,
lifting a glass of sherry. “I live here very quietly, being a
domestic kind of fellow; and for the sake of modesty I am called Mr.
Paul, to distinguish me from my unfortunate brother Mr. Stephen. He
died, I hear, recently—in the garden. Of course, it is not my
fault if enemies pursue him to this place. It is owing to the
regrettable irregularity of his life. He was not a domestic
character.”
He relapsed into silence, and continued
to gaze at the opposite wall just above the bowed and sombre head of
the woman. They saw plainly the family likeness that had haunted them
in the dead man. Then his old shoulders began to heave and shake a
little, as if he were choking, but his face did not alter.
“My God!”
cried Flambeau after a pause, “he’s laughing!”
“Come away,”
said Father Brown, who was quite white. “Come away from this
house of hell. Let us get into an honest boat again.”
Night had sunk on rushes and river by
the time they had pushed off from the island, and they went
down-stream in the dark, warming themselves with two big cigars that
glowed like crimson ships’ lanterns. Father Brown took his
cigar out of his mouth and said:
“I suppose you
can guess the whole story now? After all, it’s a primitive
story. A man had two enemies. He was a wise man. And so he discovered
that two enemies are better than one.”
“I do not
follow that,” answered Flambeau.
“Oh, it’s
really simple,” rejoined his friend. “Simple, though
anything but innocent. Both the Saradines were scamps, but the
prince, the elder, was the sort of scamp that gets to the top, and
the younger, the captain, was the sort that sinks to the bottom. This
squalid officer fell from beggar to blackmailer, and one ugly day he
got his hold upon his brother, the prince. Obviously it was for no
light matter, for Prince Paul Saradine was frankly ‘fast,’
and had no reputation to lose as to the mere sins of society. In
plain fact, it was a hanging matter, and Stephen literally had a rope
round his brother’s neck. He had somehow discovered the truth
about the Sicilian affair, and could prove that Paul murdered old
Antonelli in the mountains. The captain raked in the hush money
heavily for ten years, until even the prince’s splendid fortune
began to look a little foolish.
“But Prince
Saradine bore another burden besides his blood-sucking brother. He
knew that the son of Antonelli, a mere child at the time of the
murder, had been trained in savage Sicilian loyalty, and lived only
to avenge his father, not with the gibbet (for he lacked Stephen’s
legal proof), but with the old weapons of vendetta. The boy had
practised arms with a deadly perfection, and about the time that he
was old enough to use them Prince Saradine began, as the society
papers said, to travel. The fact is that he began to flee for his
life, passing from place to place like a hunted criminal; but with
one relentless man upon his trail. That was Prince Paul’s
position, and by no means a pretty one. The more money he spent on
eluding Antonelli the less he had to silence Stephen. The more he
gave to silence Stephen the less chance there was of finally escaping
Antonelli. Then it was that he showed himself a great man—a
genius like Napoleon.
“Instead of
resisting his two antagonists, he surrendered suddenly to both of
them. He gave way like a Japanese wrestler, and his foes fell
prostrate before him. He gave up the race round the world, and he
gave up his address to young Antonelli; then he gave up everything to
his brother. He sent Stephen money enough for smart clothes and easy
travel, with a letter saying roughly: ‘This is all I have left.
You have cleaned me out. I still have a little house in Norfolk, with
servants and a cellar, and if you want more from me you must take
that. Come and take possession if you like, and I will live there
quietly as your friend or agent or anything.’ He knew that the
Sicilian had never seen the Saradine brothers save, perhaps, in
pictures; he knew they were somewhat alike, both having grey, pointed
beards. Then he shaved his own face and waited. The trap worked. The
unhappy captain, in his new clothes, entered the house in triumph as
a prince, and walked upon the Sicilian’s sword.
“There was one
hitch, and it is to the honour of human nature. Evil spirits like
Saradine often blunder by never expecting the virtues of mankind. He
took it for granted that the Italian’s blow, when it came,
would be dark, violent and nameless, like the blow it avenged; that
the victim would be knifed at night, or shot from behind a hedge, and
so die without speech. It was a bad minute for Prince Paul when
Antonelli’s chivalry proposed a formal duel, with all its
possible explanations. It was then that I found him putting off in
his boat with wild eyes. He was fleeing, bareheaded, in an open boat
before Antonelli should learn who he was.
“But, however
agitated, he was not hopeless. He knew the adventurer and he knew the
fanatic. It was quite probable that Stephen, the adventurer, would
hold his tongue, through his mere histrionic pleasure in playing a
part, his lust for clinging to his new cosy quarters, his rascal’s
trust in luck, and his fine fencing. It was certain that Antonelli,
the fanatic, would hold his tongue, and be hanged without telling
tales of his family. Paul hung about on the river till he knew the
fight was over. Then he roused the town, brought the police, saw his
two vanquished enemies taken away forever, and sat down smiling to
his dinner.”
“Laughing, God
help us!” said Flambeau with a strong shudder. “Do they
get such ideas from Satan?”
“He got that
idea from you,” answered the priest.
“God forbid!”
ejaculated Flambeau. “From me! What do you mean!”
The priest pulled a visiting-card from
his pocket and held it up in the faint glow of his cigar; it was
scrawled with green ink.
“Don’t
you remember his original invitation to you?” he asked, “and
the compliment to your criminal exploit? ‘That trick of yours,’
he says, ‘of getting one detective to arrest the other’?
He has just copied your trick. With an enemy on each side of him, he
slipped swiftly out of the way and let them collide and kill each
other.”
Flambeau tore Prince Saradine’s
card from the priest’s hands and rent it savagely in small
pieces.
“There’s
the last of that old skull and crossbones,” he said as he
scattered the pieces upon the dark and disappearing waves of the
stream; “but I should think it would poison the fishes.”
The last gleam of white card and green
ink was drowned and darkened; a faint and vibrant colour as of
morning changed the sky, and the moon behind the grasses grew paler.
They drifted in silence.
“Father,”
said Flambeau suddenly, “do you think it was all a dream?”
The priest shook his head, whether in
dissent or agnosticism, but remained mute. A smell of hawthorn and of
orchards came to them through the darkness, telling them that a wind
was awake; the next moment it swayed their little boat and swelled
their sail, and carried them onward down the winding river to happier
places and the homes of harmless men.
The Hammer of God
The little village of Bohun Beacon was
perched on a hill so steep that the tall spire of its church seemed
only like the peak of a small mountain. At the foot of the church
stood a smithy, generally red with fires and always littered with
hammers and scraps of iron; opposite to this, over a rude cross of
cobbled paths, was “The Blue Boar,” the only inn of the
place. It was upon this crossway, in the lifting of a leaden and
silver daybreak, that two brothers met in the street and spoke;
though one was beginning the day and the other finishing it. The Rev.
and Hon. Wilfred Bohun was very devout, and was making his way to
some austere exercises of prayer or contemplation at dawn. Colonel
the Hon. Norman Bohun, his elder brother, was by no means devout, and
was sitting in evening dress on the bench outside “The Blue
Boar,” drinking what the philosophic observer was free to
regard either as his last glass on Tuesday or his first on Wednesday.
The colonel was not particular.
The Bohuns were one of the very few
aristocratic families really dating from the Middle Ages, and their
pennon had actually seen Palestine. But it is a great mistake to
suppose that such houses stand high in chivalric tradition. Few
except the poor preserve traditions. Aristocrats live not in
traditions but in fashions. The Bohuns had been Mohocks under Queen
Anne and Mashers under Queen Victoria. But like more than one of the
really ancient houses, they had rotted in the last two centuries into
mere drunkards and dandy degenerates, till there had even come a
whisper of insanity. Certainly there was something hardly human about
the colonel’s wolfish pursuit of pleasure, and his chronic
resolution not to go home till morning had a touch of the hideous
clarity of insomnia. He was a tall, fine animal, elderly, but with
hair still startlingly yellow. He would have looked merely blonde and
leonine, but his blue eyes were sunk so deep in his face that they
looked black. They were a little too close together. He had very long
yellow moustaches; on each side of them a fold or furrow from nostril
to jaw, so that a sneer seemed cut into his face. Over his evening
clothes he wore a curious pale yellow coat that looked more like a
very light dressing gown than an overcoat, and on the back of his
head was stuck an extraordinary broad-brimmed hat of a bright green
colour, evidently some oriental curiosity caught up at random. He was
proud of appearing in such incongruous attires—proud of the
fact that he always made them look congruous.
His brother the curate had also the
yellow hair and the elegance, but he was buttoned up to the chin in
black, and his face was clean-shaven, cultivated, and a little
nervous. He seemed to live for nothing but his religion; but there
were some who said (notably the blacksmith, who was a Presbyterian)
that it was a love of Gothic architecture rather than of God, and
that his haunting of the church like a ghost was only another and
purer turn of the almost morbid thirst for beauty which sent his
brother raging after women and wine. This charge was doubtful, while
the man’s practical piety was indubitable. Indeed, the charge
was mostly an ignorant misunderstanding of the love of solitude and
secret prayer, and was founded on his being often found kneeling, not
before the altar, but in peculiar places, in the crypts or gallery,
or even in the belfry. He was at the moment about to enter the church
through the yard of the smithy, but stopped and frowned a little as
he saw his brother’s cavernous eyes staring in the same
direction. On the hypothesis that the colonel was interested in the
church he did not waste any speculations. There only remained the
blacksmith’s shop, and though the blacksmith was a Puritan and
none of his people, Wilfred Bohun had heard some scandals about a
beautiful and rather celebrated wife. He flung a suspicious look
across the shed, and the colonel stood up laughing to speak to him.
“Good morning,
Wilfred,” he said. “Like a good landlord I am watching
sleeplessly over my people. I am going to call on the blacksmith.”
Wilfred looked at the ground, and said:
“The blacksmith is out. He is over at Greenford.”
“I know,”
answered the other with silent laughter; “that is why I am
calling on him.”
“Norman,”
said the cleric, with his eye on a pebble in the road, “are you
ever afraid of thunderbolts?”
“What do you
mean?” asked the colonel. “Is your hobby meteorology?”
“I mean,”
said Wilfred, without looking up, “do you ever think that God
might strike you in the street?”
“I beg your
pardon,” said the colonel; “I see your hobby is
folk-lore.”
“I know your
hobby is blasphemy,” retorted the religious man, stung in the
one live place of his nature. “But if you do not fear God, you
have good reason to fear man.”
The elder raised his eyebrows politely.
“Fear man?” he said.
“Barnes the
blacksmith is the biggest and strongest man for forty miles round,”
said the clergyman sternly. “I know you are no coward or
weakling, but he could throw you over the wall.”
This struck home, being true, and the
lowering line by mouth and nostril darkened and deepened. For a
moment he stood with the heavy sneer on his face. But in an instant
Colonel Bohun had recovered his own cruel good humour and laughed,
showing two dog-like front teeth under his yellow moustache. “In
that case, my dear Wilfred,” he said quite carelessly, “it
was wise for the last of the Bohuns to come out partially in armour.”
And he took off the queer round hat
covered with green, showing that it was lined within with steel.
Wilfred recognised it indeed as a light Japanese or Chinese helmet
torn down from a trophy that hung in the old family hall.
“It was the
first hat to hand,” explained his brother airily; “always
the nearest hat—and the nearest woman.”
“The blacksmith
is away at Greenford,” said Wilfred quietly; “the time of
his return is unsettled.”
And with that he turned and went into
the church with bowed head, crossing himself like one who wishes to
be quit of an unclean spirit. He was anxious to forget such grossness
in the cool twilight of his tall Gothic cloisters; but on that
morning it was fated that his still round of religious exercises
should be everywhere arrested by small shocks. As he entered the
church, hitherto always empty at that hour, a kneeling figure rose
hastily to its feet and came towards the full daylight of the
doorway. When the curate saw it he stood still with surprise. For the
early worshipper was none other than the village idiot, a nephew of
the blacksmith, one who neither would nor could care for the church
or for anything else. He was always called “Mad Joe,” and
seemed to have no other name; he was a dark, strong, slouching lad,
with a heavy white face, dark straight hair, and a mouth always open.
As he passed the priest, his moon-calf countenance gave no hint of
what he had been doing or thinking of. He had never been known to
pray before. What sort of prayers was he saying now? Extraordinary
prayers surely.
Wilfred Bohun stood rooted to the spot
long enough to see the idiot go out into the sunshine, and even to
see his dissolute brother hail him with a sort of avuncular
jocularity. The last thing he saw was the colonel throwing pennies at
the open mouth of Joe, with the serious appearance of trying to hit
it.
This ugly sunlit picture of the
stupidity and cruelty of the earth sent the ascetic finally to his
prayers for purification and new thoughts. He went up to a pew in the
gallery, which brought him under a coloured window which he loved and
always quieted his spirit; a blue window with an angel carrying
lilies. There he began to think less about the half-wit, with his
livid face and mouth like a fish. He began to think less of his evil
brother, pacing like a lean lion in his horrible hunger. He sank
deeper and deeper into those cold and sweet colours of silver
blossoms and sapphire sky.
In this place half an hour afterwards he
was found by Gibbs, the village cobbler, who had been sent for him in
some haste. He got to his feet with promptitude, for he knew that no
small matter would have brought Gibbs into such a place at all. The
cobbler was, as in many villages, an atheist, and his appearance in
church was a shade more extraordinary than Mad Joe’s. It was a
morning of theological enigmas.
“What is it?”
asked Wilfred Bohun rather stiffly, but putting out a trembling hand
for his hat.
The atheist spoke in a tone that, coming
from him, was quite startlingly respectful, and even, as it were,
huskily sympathetic.
“You must
excuse me, sir,” he said in a hoarse whisper, “but we
didn’t think it right not to let you know at once. I’m
afraid a rather dreadful thing has happened, sir. I’m afraid
your brother—”
Wilfred clenched his frail hands. “What
devilry has he done now?” he cried in voluntary passion.
“Why, sir,”
said the cobbler, coughing, “I’m afraid he’s done
nothing, and won’t do anything. I’m afraid he’s
done for. You had really better come down, sir.”
The curate followed the cobbler down a
short winding stair which brought them out at an entrance rather
higher than the street. Bohun saw the tragedy in one glance, flat
underneath him like a plan. In the yard of the smithy were standing
five or six men mostly in black, one in an inspector’s uniform.
They included the doctor, the Presbyterian minister, and the priest
from the Roman Catholic chapel, to which the blacksmith’s wife
belonged. The latter was speaking to her, indeed, very rapidly, in an
undertone, as she, a magnificent woman with red-gold hair, was
sobbing blindly on a bench. Between these two groups, and just clear
of the main heap of hammers, lay a man in evening dress,
spread-eagled and flat on his face. From the height above Wilfred
could have sworn to every item of his costume and appearance, down to
the Bohun rings upon his fingers; but the skull was only a hideous
splash, like a star of blackness and blood.
Wilfred Bohun gave but one glance, and
ran down the steps into the yard. The doctor, who was the family
physician, saluted him, but he scarcely took any notice. He could
only stammer out: “My brother is dead. What does it mean? What
is this horrible mystery?” There was an unhappy silence; and
then the cobbler, the most outspoken man present, answered: “Plenty
of horror, sir,” he said; “but not much mystery.”
“What do you
mean?” asked Wilfred, with a white face.
“It’s
plain enough,” answered Gibbs. “There is only one man for
forty miles round that could have struck such a blow as that, and
he’s the man that had most reason to.”
“We must not
prejudge anything,” put in the doctor, a tall, black-bearded
man, rather nervously; “but it is competent for me to
corroborate what Mr. Gibbs says about the nature of the blow, sir; it
is an incredible blow. Mr. Gibbs says that only one man in this
district could have done it. I should have said myself that nobody
could have done it.”
A shudder of superstition went through
the slight figure of the curate. “I can hardly understand,”
he said.
“Mr. Bohun,”
said the doctor in a low voice, “metaphors literally fail me.
It is inadequate to say that the skull was smashed to bits like an
eggshell. Fragments of bone were driven into the body and the ground
like bullets into a mud wall. It was the hand of a giant.”
He was silent a moment, looking grimly
through his glasses; then he added: “The thing has one
advantage—that it clears most people of suspicion at one
stroke. If you or I or any normally made man in the country were
accused of this crime, we should be acquitted as an infant would be
acquitted of stealing the Nelson column.”
“That’s
what I say,” repeated the cobbler obstinately; “there’s
only one man that could have done it, and he’s the man that
would have done it. Where’s Simeon Barnes, the blacksmith?”
“He’s
over at Greenford,” faltered the curate.
“More likely
over in France,” muttered the cobbler.
“No; he is in
neither of those places,” said a small and colourless voice,
which came from the little Roman priest who had joined the group. “As
a matter of fact, he is coming up the road at this moment.”
The little priest was not an interesting
man to look at, having stubbly brown hair and a round and stolid
face. But if he had been as splendid as Apollo no one would have
looked at him at that moment. Everyone turned round and peered at the
pathway which wound across the plain below, along which was indeed
walking, at his own huge stride and with a hammer on his shoulder,
Simeon the smith. He was a bony and gigantic man, with deep, dark,
sinister eyes and a dark chin beard. He was walking and talking
quietly with two other men; and though he was never specially
cheerful, he seemed quite at his ease.
“My God!”
cried the atheistic cobbler, “and there’s the hammer he
did it with.”
“No,”
said the inspector, a sensible-looking man with a sandy moustache,
speaking for the first time. “There’s the hammer he did
it with over there by the church wall. We have left it and the body
exactly as they are.”
All glanced round and the short priest
went across and looked down in silence at the tool where it lay. It
was one of the smallest and the lightest of the hammers, and would
not have caught the eye among the rest; but on the iron edge of it
were blood and yellow hair.
After a silence the short priest spoke
without looking up, and there was a new note in his dull voice. “Mr.
Gibbs was hardly right,” he said, “in saying that there
is no mystery. There is at least the mystery of why so big a man
should attempt so big a blow with so little a hammer.”
“Oh, never mind
that,” cried Gibbs, in a fever. “What are we to do with
Simeon Barnes?”
“Leave him
alone,” said the priest quietly. “He is coming here of
himself. I know those two men with him. They are very good fellows
from Greenford, and they have come over about the Presbyterian
chapel.”
Even as he spoke the tall smith swung
round the corner of the church, and strode into his own yard. Then he
stood there quite still, and the hammer fell from his hand. The
inspector, who had preserved impenetrable propriety, immediately went
up to him.
“I won’t
ask you, Mr. Barnes,” he said, “whether you know anything
about what has happened here. You are not bound to say. I hope you
don’t know, and that you will be able to prove it. But I must
go through the form of arresting you in the King’s name for the
murder of Colonel Norman Bohun.”
“You are not
bound to say anything,” said the cobbler in officious
excitement. “They’ve got to prove everything. They
haven’t proved yet that it is Colonel Bohun, with the head all
smashed up like that.”
“That won’t
wash,” said the doctor aside to the priest. “That’s
out of the detective stories. I was the colonel’s medical man,
and I knew his body better than he did. He had very fine hands, but
quite peculiar ones. The second and third fingers were the same
length. Oh, that’s the colonel right enough.”
As he glanced at the brained corpse upon
the ground the iron eyes of the motionless blacksmith followed them
and rested there also.
“Is Colonel
Bohun dead?” said the smith quite calmly. “Then he’s
damned.”
“Don’t
say anything! Oh, don’t say anything,” cried the atheist
cobbler, dancing about in an ecstasy of admiration of the English
legal system. For no man is such a legalist as the good Secularist.
The blacksmith turned on him over his
shoulder the august face of a fanatic.
“It’s
well for you infidels to dodge like foxes because the world’s
law favours you,” he said; “but God guards His own in His
pocket, as you shall see this day.”
Then he pointed to the colonel and said:
“When did this dog die in his sins?”
“Moderate your
language,” said the doctor.
“Moderate the
Bible’s language, and I’ll moderate mine. When did he
die?”
“I saw him
alive at six o’clock this morning,” stammered Wilfred
Bohun.
“God is good,”
said the smith. “Mr. Inspector, I have not the slightest
objection to being arrested. It is you who may object to arresting
me. I don’t mind leaving the court without a stain on my
character. You do mind perhaps leaving the court with a bad set-back
in your career.”
The solid inspector for the first time
looked at the blacksmith with a lively eye; as did everybody else,
except the short, strange priest, who was still looking down at the
little hammer that had dealt the dreadful blow.
“There are two
men standing outside this shop,” went on the blacksmith with
ponderous lucidity, “good tradesmen in Greenford whom you all
know, who will swear that they saw me from before midnight till
daybreak and long after in the committee room of our Revival Mission,
which sits all night, we save souls so fast. In Greenford itself
twenty people could swear to me for all that time. If I were a
heathen, Mr. Inspector, I would let you walk on to your downfall. But
as a Christian man I feel bound to give you your chance, and ask you
whether you will hear my alibi now or in court.”
The inspector seemed for the first time
disturbed, and said, “Of course I should be glad to clear you
altogether now.”
The smith walked out of his yard with
the same long and easy stride, and returned to his two friends from
Greenford, who were indeed friends of nearly everyone present. Each
of them said a few words which no one ever thought of disbelieving.
When they had spoken, the innocence of Simeon stood up as solid as
the great church above them.
One of those silences struck the group
which are more strange and insufferable than any speech. Madly, in
order to make conversation, the curate said to the Catholic priest:
“You seem very
much interested in that hammer, Father Brown.”
“Yes, I am,”
said Father Brown; “why is it such a small hammer?”
The doctor swung round on him.
“By George,
that’s true,” he cried; “who would use a little
hammer with ten larger hammers lying about?”
Then he lowered his voice in the
curate’s ear and said: “Only the kind of person that
can’t lift a large hammer. It is not a question of force or
courage between the sexes. It’s a question of lifting power in
the shoulders. A bold woman could commit ten murders with a light
hammer and never turn a hair. She could not kill a beetle with a
heavy one.”
Wilfred Bohun was staring at him with a
sort of hypnotised horror, while Father Brown listened with his head
a little on one side, really interested and attentive. The doctor
went on with more hissing emphasis:
“Why do these
idiots always assume that the only person who hates the wife’s
lover is the wife’s husband? Nine times out of ten the person
who most hates the wife’s lover is the wife. Who knows what
insolence or treachery he had shown her—look there!”
He made a momentary gesture towards the
red-haired woman on the bench. She had lifted her head at last and
the tears were drying on her splendid face. But the eyes were fixed
on the corpse with an electric glare that had in it something of
idiocy.
The Rev. Wilfred Bohun made a limp
gesture as if waving away all desire to know; but Father Brown,
dusting off his sleeve some ashes blown from the furnace, spoke in
his indifferent way.
“You are like
so many doctors,” he said; “your mental science is really
suggestive. It is your physical science that is utterly impossible. I
agree that the woman wants to kill the co-respondent much more than
the petitioner does. And I agree that a woman will always pick up a
small hammer instead of a big one. But the difficulty is one of
physical impossibility. No woman ever born could have smashed a man’s
skull out flat like that.” Then he added reflectively, after a
pause: “These people haven’t grasped the whole of it. The
man was actually wearing an iron helmet, and the blow scattered it
like broken glass. Look at that woman. Look at her arms.”
Silence held them all up again, and then
the doctor said rather sulkily: “Well, I may be wrong; there
are objections to everything. But I stick to the main point. No man
but an idiot would pick up that little hammer if he could use a big
hammer.”
With that the lean and quivering hands
of Wilfred Bohun went up to his head and seemed to clutch his scanty
yellow hair. After an instant they dropped, and he cried: “That
was the word I wanted; you have said the word.”
Then he continued, mastering his
discomposure: “The words you said were, ‘No man but an
idiot would pick up the small hammer.’”
“Yes,”
said the doctor. “Well?”
“Well,”
said the curate, “no man but an idiot did.” The rest
stared at him with eyes arrested and riveted, and he went on in a
febrile and feminine agitation.
“I am a
priest,” he cried unsteadily, “and a priest should be no
shedder of blood. I—I mean that he should bring no one to the
gallows. And I thank God that I see the criminal clearly now—because
he is a criminal who cannot be brought to the gallows.”
“You will not
denounce him?” inquired the doctor.
“He would not
be hanged if I did denounce him,” answered Wilfred with a wild
but curiously happy smile. “When I went into the church this
morning I found a madman praying there—that poor Joe, who has
been wrong all his life. God knows what he prayed; but with such
strange folk it is not incredible to suppose that their prayers are
all upside down. Very likely a lunatic would pray before killing a
man. When I last saw poor Joe he was with my brother. My brother was
mocking him.”
“By Jove!”
cried the doctor, “this is talking at last. But how do you
explain—”
The Rev. Wilfred was almost trembling
with the excitement of his own glimpse of the truth. “Don’t
you see; don’t you see,” he cried feverishly; “that
is the only theory that covers both the queer things, that answers
both the riddles. The two riddles are the little hammer and the big
blow. The smith might have struck the big blow, but would not have
chosen the little hammer. His wife would have chosen the little
hammer, but she could not have struck the big blow. But the madman
might have done both. As for the little hammer—why, he was mad
and might have picked up anything. And for the big blow, have you
never heard, doctor, that a maniac in his paroxysm may have the
strength of ten men?”
The doctor drew a deep breath and then
said, “By golly, I believe you’ve got it.”
Father Brown had fixed his eyes on the
speaker so long and steadily as to prove that his large grey, ox-like
eyes were not quite so insignificant as the rest of his face. When
silence had fallen he said with marked respect: “Mr. Bohun,
yours is the only theory yet propounded which holds water every way
and is essentially unassailable. I think, therefore, that you deserve
to be told, on my positive knowledge, that it is not the true one.”
And with that the old little man walked away and stared again at the
hammer.
“That fellow
seems to know more than he ought to,” whispered the doctor
peevishly to Wilfred. “Those popish priests are deucedly sly.”
“No, no,”
said Bohun, with a sort of wild fatigue. “It was the lunatic.
It was the lunatic.”
The group of the two clerics and the
doctor had fallen away from the more official group containing the
inspector and the man he had arrested. Now, however, that their own
party had broken up, they heard voices from the others. The priest
looked up quietly and then looked down again as he heard the
blacksmith say in a loud voice:
“I hope I’ve
convinced you, Mr. Inspector. I’m a strong man, as you say, but
I couldn’t have flung my hammer bang here from Greenford. My
hammer hasn’t got wings that it should come flying half a mile
over hedges and fields.”
The inspector laughed amicably and said:
“No, I think you can be considered out of it, though it’s
one of the rummiest coincidences I ever saw. I can only ask you to
give us all the assistance you can in finding a man as big and strong
as yourself. By George! you might be useful, if only to hold him! I
suppose you yourself have no guess at the man?”
“I may have a
guess,” said the pale smith, “but it is not at a man.”
Then, seeing the scared eyes turn towards his wife on the bench, he
put his huge hand on her shoulder and said: “Nor a woman
either.”
“What do you
mean?” asked the inspector jocularly. “You don’t
think cows use hammers, do you?”
“I think no
thing of flesh held that hammer,” said the blacksmith in a
stifled voice; “mortally speaking, I think the man died alone.”
Wilfred made a sudden forward movement
and peered at him with burning eyes.
“Do you mean to
say, Barnes,” came the sharp voice of the cobbler, “that
the hammer jumped up of itself and knocked the man down?”
“Oh, you
gentlemen may stare and snigger,” cried Simeon; “you
clergymen who tell us on Sunday in what a stillness the Lord smote
Sennacherib. I believe that One who walks invisible in every house
defended the honour of mine, and laid the defiler dead before the
door of it. I believe the force in that blow was just the force there
is in earthquakes, and no force less.”
Wilfred said, with a voice utterly
undescribable: “I told Norman myself to beware of the
thunderbolt.”
“That agent is
outside my jurisdiction,” said the inspector with a slight
smile.
“You are not
outside His,” answered the smith; “see you to it,”
and, turning his broad back, he went into the house.
The shaken Wilfred was led away by
Father Brown, who had an easy and friendly way with him. “Let
us get out of this horrid place, Mr. Bohun,” he said. “May
I look inside your church? I hear it’s one of the oldest in
England. We take some interest, you know,” he added with a
comical grimace, “in old English churches.”
Wilfred Bohun did not smile, for humour
was never his strong point. But he nodded rather eagerly, being only
too ready to explain the Gothic splendours to someone more likely to
be sympathetic than the Presbyterian blacksmith or the atheist
cobbler.
“By all means,”
he said; “let us go in at this side.” And he led the way
into the high side entrance at the top of the flight of steps. Father
Brown was mounting the first step to follow him when he felt a hand
on his shoulder, and turned to behold the dark, thin figure of the
doctor, his face darker yet with suspicion.
“Sir,”
said the physician harshly, “you appear to know some secrets in
this black business. May I ask if you are going to keep them to
yourself?”
“Why, doctor,”
answered the priest, smiling quite pleasantly, “there is one
very good reason why a man of my trade should keep things to himself
when he is not sure of them, and that is that it is so constantly his
duty to keep them to himself when he is sure of them. But if you
think I have been discourteously reticent with you or anyone, I will
go to the extreme limit of my custom. I will give you two very large
hints.”
“Well, sir?”
said the doctor gloomily.
“First,”
said Father Brown quietly, “the thing is quite in your own
province. It is a matter of physical science. The blacksmith is
mistaken, not perhaps in saying that the blow was divine, but
certainly in saying that it came by a miracle. It was no miracle,
doctor, except in so far as man is himself a miracle, with his
strange and wicked and yet half-heroic heart. The force that smashed
that skull was a force well known to scientists—one of the most
frequently debated of the laws of nature.”
The doctor, who was looking at him with
frowning intentness, only said: “And the other hint?”
“The other hint
is this,” said the priest. “Do you remember the
blacksmith, though he believes in miracles, talking scornfully of the
impossible fairy tale that his hammer had wings and flew half a mile
across country?”
“Yes,”
said the doctor, “I remember that.”
“Well,”
added Father Brown, with a broad smile, “that fairy tale was
the nearest thing to the real truth that has been said today.”
And with that he turned his back and stumped up the steps after the
curate.
The Reverend Wilfred, who had been
waiting for him, pale and impatient, as if this little delay were the
last straw for his nerves, led him immediately to his favourite
corner of the church, that part of the gallery closest to the carved
roof and lit by the wonderful window with the angel. The little Latin
priest explored and admired everything exhaustively, talking
cheerfully but in a low voice all the time. When in the course of his
investigation he found the side exit and the winding stair down which
Wilfred had rushed to find his brother dead, Father Brown ran not
down but up, with the agility of a monkey, and his clear voice came
from an outer platform above.
“Come up here,
Mr. Bohun,” he called. “The air will do you good.”
Bohun followed him, and came out on a
kind of stone gallery or balcony outside the building, from which one
could see the illimitable plain in which their small hill stood,
wooded away to the purple horizon and dotted with villages and farms.
Clear and square, but quite small beneath them, was the blacksmith’s
yard, where the inspector still stood taking notes and the corpse
still lay like a smashed fly.
“Might be the
map of the world, mightn’t it?” said Father Brown.
“Yes,”
said Bohun very gravely, and nodded his head.
Immediately beneath and about them the
lines of the Gothic building plunged outwards into the void with a
sickening swiftness akin to suicide. There is that element of Titan
energy in the architecture of the Middle Ages that, from whatever
aspect it be seen, it always seems to be rushing away, like the
strong back of some maddened horse. This church was hewn out of
ancient and silent stone, bearded with old fungoids and stained with
the nests of birds. And yet, when they saw it from below, it sprang
like a fountain at the stars; and when they saw it, as now, from
above, it poured like a cataract into a voiceless pit. For these two
men on the tower were left alone with the most terrible aspect of
Gothic; the monstrous foreshortening and disproportion, the dizzy
perspectives, the glimpses of great things small and small things
great; a topsy-turvydom of stone in the mid-air. Details of stone,
enormous by their proximity, were relieved against a pattern of
fields and farms, pygmy in their distance. A carved bird or beast at
a corner seemed like some vast walking or flying dragon wasting the
pastures and villages below. The whole atmosphere was dizzy and
dangerous, as if men were upheld in air amid the gyrating wings of
colossal genii; and the whole of that old church, as tall and rich as
a cathedral, seemed to sit upon the sunlit country like a cloudburst.
“I think there
is something rather dangerous about standing on these high places
even to pray,” said Father Brown. “Heights were made to
be looked at, not to be looked from.”
“Do you mean
that one may fall over,” asked Wilfred.
“I mean that
one’s soul may fall if one’s body doesn’t,”
said the other priest.
“I scarcely
understand you,” remarked Bohun indistinctly.
“Look at that
blacksmith, for instance,” went on Father Brown calmly; “a
good man, but not a Christian—hard, imperious, unforgiving.
Well, his Scotch religion was made up by men who prayed on hills and
high crags, and learnt to look down on the world more than to look up
at heaven. Humility is the mother of giants. One sees great things
from the valley; only small things from the peak.”
“But he—he
didn’t do it,” said Bohun tremulously.
“No,”
said the other in an odd voice; “we know he didn’t do
it.”
After a moment he resumed, looking
tranquilly out over the plain with his pale grey eyes. “I knew
a man,” he said, “who began by worshipping with others
before the altar, but who grew fond of high and lonely places to pray
from, corners or niches in the belfry or the spire. And once in one
of those dizzy places, where the whole world seemed to turn under him
like a wheel, his brain turned also, and he fancied he was God. So
that, though he was a good man, he committed a great crime.”
Wilfred’s face was turned away,
but his bony hands turned blue and white as they tightened on the
parapet of stone.
“He thought it
was given to him to judge the world and strike down the sinner. He
would never have had such a thought if he had been kneeling with
other men upon a floor. But he saw all men walking about like
insects. He saw one especially strutting just below him, insolent and
evident by a bright green hat—a poisonous insect.”
Rooks cawed round the corners of the
belfry; but there was no other sound till Father Brown went on.
“This also
tempted him, that he had in his hand one of the most awful engines of
nature; I mean gravitation, that mad and quickening rush by which all
earth’s creatures fly back to her heart when released. See, the
inspector is strutting just below us in the smithy. If I were to toss
a pebble over this parapet it would be something like a bullet by the
time it struck him. If I were to drop a hammer—even a small
hammer—”
Wilfred Bohun threw one leg over the
parapet, and Father Brown had him in a minute by the collar.
“Not by that
door,” he said quite gently; “that door leads to hell.”
Bohun staggered back against the wall,
and stared at him with frightful eyes.
“How do you
know all this?” he cried. “Are you a devil?”
“I am a man,”
answered Father Brown gravely; “and therefore have all devils
in my heart. Listen to me,” he said after a short pause. “I
know what you did—at least, I can guess the great part of it.
When you left your brother you were racked with no unrighteous rage,
to the extent even that you snatched up a small hammer, half inclined
to kill him with his foulness on his mouth. Recoiling, you thrust it
under your buttoned coat instead, and rushed into the church. You
pray wildly in many places, under the angel window, upon the platform
above, and a higher platform still, from which you could see the
colonel’s Eastern hat like the back of a green beetle crawling
about. Then something snapped in your soul, and you let God’s
thunderbolt fall.”
Wilfred put a weak hand to his head, and
asked in a low voice: “How did you know that his hat looked
like a green beetle?”
“Oh, that,”
said the other with the shadow of a smile, “that was common
sense. But hear me further. I say I know all this; but no one else
shall know it. The next step is for you; I shall take no more steps;
I will seal this with the seal of confession. If you ask me why,
there are many reasons, and only one that concerns you. I leave
things to you because you have not yet gone very far wrong, as
assassins go. You did not help to fix the crime on the smith when it
was easy; or on his wife, when that was easy. You tried to fix it on
the imbecile because you knew that he could not suffer. That was one
of the gleams that it is my business to find in assassins. And now
come down into the village, and go your own way as free as the wind;
for I have said my last word.”
They went down the winding stairs in
utter silence, and came out into the sunlight by the smithy. Wilfred
Bohun carefully unlatched the wooden gate of the yard, and going up
to the inspector, said: “I wish to give myself up; I have
killed my brother.”
The Eye of Apollo
That singular smoky sparkle, at once a
confusion and a transparency, which is the strange secret of the
Thames, was changing more and more from its grey to its glittering
extreme as the sun climbed to the zenith over Westminster, and two
men crossed Westminster Bridge. One man was very tall and the other
very short; they might even have been fantastically compared to the
arrogant clock-tower of Parliament and the humbler humped shoulders
of the Abbey, for the short man was in clerical dress. The official
description of the tall man was M. Hercule Flambeau, private
detective, and he was going to his new offices in a new pile of flats
facing the Abbey entrance. The official description of the short man
was the Reverend J. Brown, attached to St. Francis Xavier’s
Church, Camberwell, and he was coming from a Camberwell deathbed to
see the new offices of his friend.
The building was American in its
sky-scraping altitude, and American also in the oiled elaboration of
its machinery of telephones and lifts. But it was barely finished and
still understaffed; only three tenants had moved in; the office just
above Flambeau was occupied, as also was the office just below him;
the two floors above that and the three floors below were entirely
bare. But the first glance at the new tower of flats caught something
much more arresting. Save for a few relics of scaffolding, the one
glaring object was erected outside the office just above Flambeau’s.
It was an enormous gilt effigy of the human eye, surrounded with rays
of gold, and taking up as much room as two or three of the office
windows.
“What on earth
is that?” asked Father Brown, and stood still. “Oh, a new
religion,” said Flambeau, laughing; “one of those new
religions that forgive your sins by saying you never had any. Rather
like Christian Science, I should think. The fact is that a fellow
calling himself Kalon (I don’t know what his name is, except
that it can’t be that) has taken the flat just above me. I have
two lady typewriters underneath me, and this enthusiastic old humbug
on top. He calls himself the New Priest of Apollo, and he worships
the sun.”
“Let him look
out,” said Father Brown. “The sun was the cruellest of
all the gods. But what does that monstrous eye mean?”
“As I
understand it, it is a theory of theirs,” answered Flambeau,
“that a man can endure anything if his mind is quite steady.
Their two great symbols are the sun and the open eye; for they say
that if a man were really healthy he could stare at the sun.”
“If a man were
really healthy,” said Father Brown, “he would not bother
to stare at it.”
“Well, that’s
all I can tell you about the new religion,” went on Flambeau
carelessly. “It claims, of course, that it can cure all
physical diseases.”
“Can it cure
the one spiritual disease?” asked Father Brown, with a serious
curiosity.
“And what is
the one spiritual disease?” asked Flambeau, smiling.
“Oh, thinking
one is quite well,” said his friend.
Flambeau was more interested in the
quiet little office below him than in the flamboyant temple above. He
was a lucid Southerner, incapable of conceiving himself as anything
but a Catholic or an atheist; and new religions of a bright and
pallid sort were not much in his line. But humanity was always in his
line, especially when it was good-looking; moreover, the ladies
downstairs were characters in their way. The office was kept by two
sisters, both slight and dark, one of them tall and striking. She had
a dark, eager and aquiline profile, and was one of those women whom
one always thinks of in profile, as of the clean-cut edge of some
weapon. She seemed to cleave her way through life. She had eyes of
startling brilliancy, but it was the brilliancy of steel rather than
of diamonds; and her straight, slim figure was a shade too stiff for
its grace. Her younger sister was like her shortened shadow, a little
greyer, paler, and more insignificant. They both wore a business-like
black, with little masculine cuffs and collars. There are thousands
of such curt, strenuous ladies in the offices of London, but the
interest of these lay rather in their real than their apparent
position.
For Pauline Stacey, the elder, was
actually the heiress of a crest and half a county, as well as great
wealth; she had been brought up in castles and gardens, before a
frigid fierceness (peculiar to the modern woman) had driven her to
what she considered a harsher and a higher existence. She had not,
indeed, surrendered her money; in that there would have been a
romantic or monkish abandon quite alien to her masterful
utilitarianism. She held her wealth, she would say, for use upon
practical social objects. Part of it she had put into her business,
the nucleus of a model typewriting emporium; part of it was
distributed in various leagues and causes for the advancement of such
work among women. How far Joan, her sister and partner, shared this
slightly prosaic idealism no one could be very sure. But she followed
her leader with a dog-like affection which was somehow more
attractive, with its touch of tragedy, than the hard, high spirits of
the elder. For Pauline Stacey had nothing to say to tragedy; she was
understood to deny its existence.
Her rigid rapidity and cold impatience
had amused Flambeau very much on the first occasion of his entering
the flats. He had lingered outside the lift in the entrance hall
waiting for the lift-boy, who generally conducts strangers to the
various floors. But this bright-eyed falcon of a girl had openly
refused to endure such official delay. She said sharply that she knew
all about the lift, and was not dependent on boys—or men
either. Though her flat was only three floors above, she managed in
the few seconds of ascent to give Flambeau a great many of her
fundamental views in an off-hand manner; they were to the general
effect that she was a modern working woman and loved modern working
machinery. Her bright black eyes blazed with abstract anger against
those who rebuke mechanic science and ask for the return of romance.
Everyone, she said, ought to be able to manage machines, just as she
could manage the lift. She seemed almost to resent the fact of
Flambeau opening the lift-door for her; and that gentleman went up to
his own apartments smiling with somewhat mingled feelings at the
memory of such spit-fire self-dependence.
She certainly had a temper, of a snappy,
practical sort; the gestures of her thin, elegant hands were abrupt
or even destructive.
Once Flambeau entered her office on some
typewriting business, and found she had just flung a pair of
spectacles belonging to her sister into the middle of the floor and
stamped on them. She was already in the rapids of an ethical tirade
about the “sickly medical notions” and the morbid
admission of weakness implied in such an apparatus. She dared her
sister to bring such artificial, unhealthy rubbish into the place
again. She asked if she was expected to wear wooden legs or false
hair or glass eyes; and as she spoke her eyes sparkled like the
terrible crystal.
Flambeau, quite bewildered with this
fanaticism, could not refrain from asking Miss Pauline (with direct
French logic) why a pair of spectacles was a more morbid sign of
weakness than a lift, and why, if science might help us in the one
effort, it might not help us in the other.
“That is so
different,” said Pauline Stacey, loftily. “Batteries and
motors and all those things are marks of the force of man—yes,
Mr. Flambeau, and the force of woman, too! We shall take our turn at
these great engines that devour distance and defy time. That is high
and splendid—that is really science. But these nasty props and
plasters the doctors sell—why, they are just badges of
poltroonery. Doctors stick on legs and arms as if we were born
cripples and sick slaves. But I was free-born, Mr. Flambeau! People
only think they need these things because they have been trained in
fear instead of being trained in power and courage, just as the silly
nurses tell children not to stare at the sun, and so they can’t
do it without blinking. But why among the stars should there be one
star I may not see? The sun is not my master, and I will open my eyes
and stare at him whenever I choose.”
“Your eyes,”
said Flambeau, with a foreign bow, “will dazzle the sun.”
He took pleasure in complimenting this strange stiff beauty, partly
because it threw her a little off her balance. But as he went
upstairs to his floor he drew a deep breath and whistled, saying to
himself: “So she has got into the hands of that conjurer
upstairs with his golden eye.” For, little as he knew or cared
about the new religion of Kalon, he had heard of his special notion
about sun-gazing.
He soon discovered that the spiritual
bond between the floors above and below him was close and increasing.
The man who called himself Kalon was a magnificent creature, worthy,
in a physical sense, to be the pontiff of Apollo. He was nearly as
tall even as Flambeau, and very much better looking, with a golden
beard, strong blue eyes, and a mane flung back like a lion’s.
In structure he was the blonde beast of Nietzsche, but all this
animal beauty was heightened, brightened and softened by genuine
intellect and spirituality. If he looked like one of the great Saxon
kings, he looked like one of the kings that were also saints. And
this despite the cockney incongruity of his surroundings; the fact
that he had an office half-way up a building in Victoria Street; that
the clerk (a commonplace youth in cuffs and collars) sat in the outer
room, between him and the corridor; that his name was on a brass
plate, and the gilt emblem of his creed hung above his street, like
the advertisement of an oculist. All this vulgarity could not take
away from the man called Kalon the vivid oppression and inspiration
that came from his soul and body. When all was said, a man in the
presence of this quack did feel in the presence of a great man. Even
in the loose jacket-suit of linen that he wore as a workshop dress in
his office he was a fascinating and formidable figure; and when robed
in the white vestments and crowned with the golden circlet, in which
he daily saluted the sun, he really looked so splendid that the
laughter of the street people sometimes died suddenly on their lips.
For three times in the day the new sun-worshipper went out on his
little balcony, in the face of all Westminster, to say some litany to
his shining lord: once at daybreak, once at sunset, and once at the
shock of noon. And it was while the shock of noon still shook faintly
from the towers of Parliament and parish church that Father Brown,
the friend of Flambeau, first looked up and saw the white priest of
Apollo.
Flambeau had seen quite enough of these
daily salutations of Phoebus, and plunged into the porch of the tall
building without even looking for his clerical friend to follow. But
Father Brown, whether from a professional interest in ritual or a
strong individual interest in tomfoolery, stopped and stared up at
the balcony of the sun-worshipper, just as he might have stopped and
stared up at a Punch and Judy. Kalon the Prophet was already erect,
with argent garments and uplifted hands, and the sound of his
strangely penetrating voice could be heard all the way down the busy
street uttering his solar litany. He was already in the middle of it;
his eyes were fixed upon the flaming disc. It is doubtful if he saw
anything or anyone on this earth; it is substantially certain that he
did not see a stunted, round-faced priest who, in the crowd below,
looked up at him with blinking eyes. That was perhaps the most
startling difference between even these two far divided men. Father
Brown could not look at anything without blinking; but the priest of
Apollo could look on the blaze at noon without a quiver of the
eyelid.
“O sun,”
cried the prophet, “O star that art too great to be allowed
among the stars! O fountain that flowest quietly in that secret spot
that is called space. White Father of all white unwearied things,
white flames and white flowers and white peaks. Father, who art more
innocent than all thy most innocent and quiet children; primal
purity, into the peace of which—”
A rush and crash like the reversed rush
of a rocket was cloven with a strident and incessant yelling. Five
people rushed into the gate of the mansions as three people rushed
out, and for an instant they all deafened each other. The sense of
some utterly abrupt horror seemed for a moment to fill half the
street with bad news—bad news that was all the worse because no
one knew what it was. Two figures remained still after the crash of
commotion: the fair priest of Apollo on the balcony above, and the
ugly priest of Christ below him.
At last the tall figure and titanic
energy of Flambeau appeared in the doorway of the mansions and
dominated the little mob. Talking at the top of his voice like a
fog-horn, he told somebody or anybody to go for a surgeon; and as he
turned back into the dark and thronged entrance his friend Father
Brown dipped in insignificantly after him. Even as he ducked and
dived through the crowd he could still hear the magnificent melody
and monotony of the solar priest still calling on the happy god who
is the friend of fountains and flowers.
Father Brown found Flambeau and some six
other people standing round the enclosed space into which the lift
commonly descended. But the lift had not descended. Something else
had descended; something that ought to have come by a lift.
For the last four minutes Flambeau had
looked down on it; had seen the brained and bleeding figure of that
beautiful woman who denied the existence of tragedy. He had never had
the slightest doubt that it was Pauline Stacey; and, though he had
sent for a doctor, he had not the slightest doubt that she was dead.
He could not remember for certain
whether he had liked her or disliked her; there was so much both to
like and dislike. But she had been a person to him, and the
unbearable pathos of details and habit stabbed him with all the small
daggers of bereavement. He remembered her pretty face and priggish
speeches with a sudden secret vividness which is all the bitterness
of death. In an instant like a bolt from the blue, like a thunderbolt
from nowhere, that beautiful and defiant body had been dashed down
the open well of the lift to death at the bottom. Was it suicide?
With so insolent an optimist it seemed impossible. Was it murder? But
who was there in those hardly inhabited flats to murder anybody? In a
rush of raucous words, which he meant to be strong and suddenly found
weak, he asked where was that fellow Kalon. A voice, habitually
heavy, quiet and full, assured him that Kalon for the last fifteen
minutes had been away up on his balcony worshipping his god. When
Flambeau heard the voice, and felt the hand of Father Brown, he
turned his swarthy face and said abruptly:
“Then, if he
has been up there all the time, who can have done it?”
“Perhaps,”
said the other, “we might go upstairs and find out. We have
half an hour before the police will move.”
Leaving the body of the slain heiress in
charge of the surgeons, Flambeau dashed up the stairs to the
typewriting office, found it utterly empty, and then dashed up to his
own. Having entered that, he abruptly returned with a new and white
face to his friend.
“Her sister,”
he said, with an unpleasant seriousness, “her sister seems to
have gone out for a walk.”
Father Brown nodded. “Or, she may
have gone up to the office of that sun man,” he said. “If
I were you I should just verify that, and then let us all talk it
over in your office. No,” he added suddenly, as if remembering
something, “shall I ever get over that stupidity of mine? Of
course, in their office downstairs.”
Flambeau stared; but he followed the
little father downstairs to the empty flat of the Staceys, where that
impenetrable pastor took a large red-leather chair in the very
entrance, from which he could see the stairs and landings, and
waited. He did not wait very long. In about four minutes three
figures descended the stairs, alike only in their solemnity. The
first was Joan Stacey, the sister of the dead woman—evidently
she had been upstairs in the temporary temple of Apollo; the second
was the priest of Apollo himself, his litany finished, sweeping down
the empty stairs in utter magnificence—something in his white
robes, beard and parted hair had the look of Dore’s Christ
leaving the Pretorium; the third was Flambeau, black browed and
somewhat bewildered.
Miss Joan Stacey, dark, with a drawn
face and hair prematurely touched with grey, walked straight to her
own desk and set out her papers with a practical flap. The mere
action rallied everyone else to sanity. If Miss Joan Stacey was a
criminal, she was a cool one. Father Brown regarded her for some time
with an odd little smile, and then, without taking his eyes off her,
addressed himself to somebody else.
“Prophet,”
he said, presumably addressing Kalon, “I wish you would tell me
a lot about your religion.”
“I shall be
proud to do it,” said Kalon, inclining his still crowned head,
“but I am not sure that I understand.”
“Why, it’s
like this,” said Father Brown, in his frankly doubtful way: “We
are taught that if a man has really bad first principles, that must
be partly his fault. But, for all that, we can make some difference
between a man who insults his quite clear conscience and a man with a
conscience more or less clouded with sophistries. Now, do you really
think that murder is wrong at all?”
“Is this an
accusation?” asked Kalon very quietly.
“No,”
answered Brown, equally gently, “it is the speech for the
defence.”
In the long and startled stillness of
the room the prophet of Apollo slowly rose; and really it was like
the rising of the sun. He filled that room with his light and life in
such a manner that a man felt he could as easily have filled
Salisbury Plain. His robed form seemed to hang the whole room with
classic draperies; his epic gesture seemed to extend it into grander
perspectives, till the little black figure of the modern cleric
seemed to be a fault and an intrusion, a round, black blot upon some
splendour of Hellas.
“We meet at
last, Caiaphas,” said the prophet. “Your church and mine
are the only realities on this earth. I adore the sun, and you the
darkening of the sun; you are the priest of the dying and I of the
living God. Your present work of suspicion and slander is worthy of
your coat and creed. All your church is but a black police; you are
only spies and detectives seeking to tear from men confessions of
guilt, whether by treachery or torture. You would convict men of
crime, I would convict them of innocence. You would convince them of
sin, I would convince them of virtue.
“Reader of the
books of evil, one more word before I blow away your baseless
nightmares for ever. Not even faintly could you understand how little
I care whether you can convict me or no. The things you call disgrace
and horrible hanging are to me no more than an ogre in a child’s
toy-book to a man once grown up. You said you were offering the
speech for the defence. I care so little for the cloudland of this
life that I will offer you the speech for the prosecution. There is
but one thing that can be said against me in this matter, and I will
say it myself. The woman that is dead was my love and my bride; not
after such manner as your tin chapels call lawful, but by a law purer
and sterner than you will ever understand. She and I walked another
world from yours, and trod palaces of crystal while you were plodding
through tunnels and corridors of brick. Well, I know that policemen,
theological and otherwise, always fancy that where there has been
love there must soon be hatred; so there you have the first point
made for the prosecution. But the second point is stronger; I do not
grudge it you. Not only is it true that Pauline loved me, but it is
also true that this very morning, before she died, she wrote at that
table a will leaving me and my new church half a million. Come, where
are the handcuffs? Do you suppose I care what foolish things you do
with me? Penal servitude will only be like waiting for her at a
wayside station. The gallows will only be going to her in a headlong
car.”
He spoke with the brain-shaking
authority of an orator, and Flambeau and Joan Stacey stared at him in
amazed admiration. Father Brown’s face seemed to express
nothing but extreme distress; he looked at the ground with one
wrinkle of pain across his forehead. The prophet of the sun leaned
easily against the mantelpiece and resumed:
“In a few words
I have put before you the whole case against me—the only
possible case against me. In fewer words still I will blow it to
pieces, so that not a trace of it remains. As to whether I have
committed this crime, the truth is in one sentence: I could not have
committed this crime. Pauline Stacey fell from this floor to the
ground at five minutes past twelve. A hundred people will go into the
witness-box and say that I was standing out upon the balcony of my
own rooms above from just before the stroke of noon to a
quarter-past—the usual period of my public prayers. My clerk (a
respectable youth from Clapham, with no sort of connection with me)
will swear that he sat in my outer office all the morning, and that
no communication passed through. He will swear that I arrived a full
ten minutes before the hour, fifteen minutes before any whisper of
the accident, and that I did not leave the office or the balcony all
that time. No one ever had so complete an alibi; I could subpoena
half Westminster. I think you had better put the handcuffs away
again. The case is at an end.
“But last of
all, that no breath of this idiotic suspicion remain in the air, I
will tell you all you want to know. I believe I do know how my
unhappy friend came by her death. You can, if you choose, blame me
for it, or my faith and philosophy at least; but you certainly cannot
lock me up. It is well known to all students of the higher truths
that certain adepts and illuminati have in history attained the power
of levitation—that is, of being self-sustained upon the empty
air. It is but a part of that general conquest of matter which is the
main element in our occult wisdom. Poor Pauline was of an impulsive
and ambitious temper. I think, to tell the truth, she thought herself
somewhat deeper in the mysteries than she was; and she has often said
to me, as we went down in the lift together, that if one’s will
were strong enough, one could float down as harmlessly as a feather.
I solemnly believe that in some ecstasy of noble thoughts she
attempted the miracle. Her will, or faith, must have failed her at
the crucial instant, and the lower law of matter had its horrible
revenge. There is the whole story, gentlemen, very sad and, as you
think, very presumptuous and wicked, but certainly not criminal or in
any way connected with me. In the short-hand of the police-courts,
you had better call it suicide. I shall always call it heroic failure
for the advance of science and the slow scaling of heaven.”
It was the first time Flambeau had ever
seen Father Brown vanquished. He still sat looking at the ground,
with a painful and corrugated brow, as if in shame. It was impossible
to avoid the feeling which the prophet’s winged words had
fanned, that here was a sullen, professional suspecter of men
overwhelmed by a prouder and purer spirit of natural liberty and
health. At last he said, blinking as if in bodily distress: “Well,
if that is so, sir, you need do no more than take the testamentary
paper you spoke of and go. I wonder where the poor lady left it.”
“It will be
over there on her desk by the door, I think,” said Kalon, with
that massive innocence of manner that seemed to acquit him wholly.
“She told me specially she would write it this morning, and I
actually saw her writing as I went up in the lift to my own room.”
“Was her door
open then?” asked the priest, with his eye on the corner of the
matting.
“Yes,”
said Kalon calmly.
“Ah! it has
been open ever since,” said the other, and resumed his silent
study of the mat.
“There is a
paper over here,” said the grim Miss Joan, in a somewhat
singular voice. She had passed over to her sister’s desk by the
doorway, and was holding a sheet of blue foolscap in her hand. There
was a sour smile on her face that seemed unfit for such a scene or
occasion, and Flambeau looked at her with a darkening brow.
Kalon the prophet stood away from the
paper with that loyal unconsciousness that had carried him through.
But Flambeau took it out of the lady’s hand, and read it with
the utmost amazement. It did, indeed, begin in the formal manner of a
will, but after the words “I give and bequeath all of which I
die possessed” the writing abruptly stopped with a set of
scratches, and there was no trace of the name of any legatee.
Flambeau, in wonder, handed this truncated testament to his clerical
friend, who glanced at it and silently gave it to the priest of the
sun.
An instant afterwards that pontiff, in
his splendid sweeping draperies, had crossed the room in two great
strides, and was towering over Joan Stacey, his blue eyes standing
from his head.
“What monkey
tricks have you been playing here?” he cried. “That’s
not all Pauline wrote.”
They were startled to hear him speak in
quite a new voice, with a Yankee shrillness in it; all his grandeur
and good English had fallen from him like a cloak.
“That is the
only thing on her desk,” said Joan, and confronted him steadily
with the same smile of evil favour.
Of a sudden the man broke out into
blasphemies and cataracts of incredulous words. There was something
shocking about the dropping of his mask; it was like a man’s
real face falling off.
“See here!”
he cried in broad American, when he was breathless with cursing, “I
may be an adventurer, but I guess you’re a murderess. Yes,
gentlemen, here’s your death explained, and without any
levitation. The poor girl is writing a will in my favour; her cursed
sister comes in, struggles for the pen, drags her to the well, and
throws her down before she can finish it. Sakes! I reckon we want the
handcuffs after all.”
“As you have
truly remarked,” replied Joan, with ugly calm, “your
clerk is a very respectable young man, who knows the nature of an
oath; and he will swear in any court that I was up in your office
arranging some typewriting work for five minutes before and five
minutes after my sister fell. Mr. Flambeau will tell you that he
found me there.”
There was a silence.
“Why, then,”
cried Flambeau, “Pauline was alone when she fell, and it was
suicide!”
“She was alone
when she fell,” said Father Brown, “but it was not
suicide.”
“Then how did
she die?” asked Flambeau impatiently.
“She was
murdered.”
“But she was
alone,” objected the detective.
“She was
murdered when she was all alone,” answered the priest.
All the rest stared at him, but he
remained sitting in the same old dejected attitude, with a wrinkle in
his round forehead and an appearance of impersonal shame and sorrow;
his voice was colourless and sad.
“What I want to
know,” cried Kalon, with an oath, “is when the police are
coming for this bloody and wicked sister. She’s killed her
flesh and blood; she’s robbed me of half a million that was
just as sacredly mine as—”
“Come, come,
prophet,” interrupted Flambeau, with a kind of sneer; “remember
that all this world is a cloudland.”
The hierophant of the sun-god made an
effort to climb back on his pedestal. “It is not the mere
money,” he cried, “though that would equip the cause
throughout the world. It is also my beloved one’s wishes. To
Pauline all this was holy. In Pauline’s eyes—”
Father Brown suddenly sprang erect, so
that his chair fell over flat behind him. He was deathly pale, yet he
seemed fired with a hope; his eyes shone.
“That’s
it!” he cried in a clear voice. “That’s the way to
begin. In Pauline’s eyes—”
The tall prophet retreated before the
tiny priest in an almost mad disorder. “What do you mean? How
dare you?” he cried repeatedly.
“In Pauline’s
eyes,” repeated the priest, his own shining more and more. “Go
on—in God’s name, go on. The foulest crime the fiends
ever prompted feels lighter after confession; and I implore you to
confess. Go on, go on—in Pauline’s eyes—”
“Let me go, you
devil!” thundered Kalon, struggling like a giant in bonds. “Who
are you, you cursed spy, to weave your spiders’ webs round me,
and peep and peer? Let me go.”
“Shall I stop
him?” asked Flambeau, bounding towards the exit, for Kalon had
already thrown the door wide open.
“No; let him
pass,” said Father Brown, with a strange deep sigh that seemed
to come from the depths of the universe. “Let Cain pass by, for
he belongs to God.”
There was a long-drawn silence in the
room when he had left it, which was to Flambeau’s fierce wits
one long agony of interrogation. Miss Joan Stacey very coolly tidied
up the papers on her desk.
“Father,”
said Flambeau at last, “it is my duty, not my curiosity only—it
is my duty to find out, if I can, who committed the crime.”
“Which crime?”
asked Father Brown.
“The one we are
dealing with, of course,” replied his impatient friend.
“We are dealing
with two crimes,” said Brown, “crimes of very different
weight—and by very different criminals.”
Miss Joan Stacey, having collected and
put away her papers, proceeded to lock up her drawer. Father Brown
went on, noticing her as little as she noticed him.
“The two
crimes,” he observed, “were committed against the same
weakness of the same person, in a struggle for her money. The author
of the larger crime found himself thwarted by the smaller crime; the
author of the smaller crime got the money.”
“Oh, don’t
go on like a lecturer,” groaned Flambeau; “put it in a
few words.”
“I can put it
in one word,” answered his friend.
Miss Joan Stacey skewered her
business-like black hat on to her head with a business-like black
frown before a little mirror, and, as the conversation proceeded,
took her handbag and umbrella in an unhurried style, and left the
room.
“The truth is
one word, and a short one,” said Father Brown. “Pauline
Stacey was blind.”
“Blind!”
repeated Flambeau, and rose slowly to his whole huge stature.
“She was
subject to it by blood,” Brown proceeded. “Her sister
would have started eyeglasses if Pauline would have let her; but it
was her special philosophy or fad that one must not encourage such
diseases by yielding to them. She would not admit the cloud; or she
tried to dispel it by will. So her eyes got worse and worse with
straining; but the worst strain was to come. It came with this
precious prophet, or whatever he calls himself, who taught her to
stare at the hot sun with the naked eye. It was called accepting
Apollo. Oh, if these new pagans would only be old pagans, they would
be a little wiser! The old pagans knew that mere naked Nature-worship
must have a cruel side. They knew that the eye of Apollo can blast
and blind.”
There was a pause, and the priest went
on in a gentle and even broken voice. “Whether or no that devil
deliberately made her blind, there is no doubt that he deliberately
killed her through her blindness. The very simplicity of the crime is
sickening. You know he and she went up and down in those lifts
without official help; you know also how smoothly and silently the
lifts slide. Kalon brought the lift to the girl’s landing, and
saw her, through the open door, writing in her slow, sightless way
the will she had promised him. He called out to her cheerily that he
had the lift ready for her, and she was to come out when she was
ready. Then he pressed a button and shot soundlessly up to his own
floor, walked through his own office, out on to his own balcony, and
was safely praying before the crowded street when the poor girl,
having finished her work, ran gaily out to where lover and lift were
to receive her, and stepped—”
“Don’t!”
cried Flambeau.
“He ought to
have got half a million by pressing that button,” continued the
little father, in the colourless voice in which he talked of such
horrors. “But that went smash. It went smash because there
happened to be another person who also wanted the money, and who also
knew the secret about poor Pauline’s sight. There was one thing
about that will that I think nobody noticed: although it was
unfinished and without signature, the other Miss Stacey and some
servant of hers had already signed it as witnesses. Joan had signed
first, saying Pauline could finish it later, with a typical feminine
contempt for legal forms. Therefore, Joan wanted her sister to sign
the will without real witnesses. Why? I thought of the blindness, and
felt sure she had wanted Pauline to sign in solitude because she had
wanted her not to sign at all.
“People like
the Staceys always use fountain pens; but this was specially natural
to Pauline. By habit and her strong will and memory she could still
write almost as well as if she saw; but she could not tell when her
pen needed dipping. Therefore, her fountain pens were carefully
filled by her sister—all except this fountain pen. This was
carefully not filled by her sister; the remains of the ink held out
for a few lines and then failed altogether. And the prophet lost five
hundred thousand pounds and committed one of the most brutal and
brilliant murders in human history for nothing.”
Flambeau went to the open door and heard
the official police ascending the stairs. He turned and said: “You
must have followed everything devilish close to have traced the crime
to Kalon in ten minutes.”
Father Brown gave a sort of start.
“Oh! to him,”
he said. “No; I had to follow rather close to find out about
Miss Joan and the fountain pen. But I knew Kalon was the criminal
before I came into the front door.”
“You must be
joking!” cried Flambeau.
“I’m
quite serious,” answered the priest. “I tell you I knew
he had done it, even before I knew what he had done.”
“But why?”
“These pagan
stoics,” said Brown reflectively, “always fail by their
strength. There came a crash and a scream down the street, and the
priest of Apollo did not start or look round. I did not know what it
was. But I knew that he was expecting it.”
The Sign of the Broken Sword
The thousand arms of the forest were
grey, and its million fingers silver. In a sky of dark
green-blue-like slate the stars were bleak and brilliant like
splintered ice. All that thickly wooded and sparsely tenanted
countryside was stiff with a bitter and brittle frost. The black
hollows between the trunks of the trees looked like bottomless, black
caverns of that Scandinavian hell, a hell of incalculable cold. Even
the square stone tower of the church looked northern to the point of
heathenry, as if it were some barbaric tower among the sea rocks of
Iceland. It was a queer night for anyone to explore a churchyard.
But, on the other hand, perhaps it was worth exploring.
It rose abruptly out of the ashen wastes
of forest in a sort of hump or shoulder of green turf that looked
grey in the starlight. Most of the graves were on a slant, and the
path leading up to the church was as steep as a staircase. On the top
of the hill, in the one flat and prominent place, was the monument
for which the place was famous. It contrasted strangely with the
featureless graves all round, for it was the work of one of the
greatest sculptors of modern Europe; and yet his fame was at once
forgotten in the fame of the man whose image he had made. It showed,
by touches of the small silver pencil of starlight, the massive metal
figure of a soldier recumbent, the strong hands sealed in an
everlasting worship, the great head pillowed upon a gun. The
venerable face was bearded, or rather whiskered, in the old, heavy
Colonel Newcome fashion. The uniform, though suggested with the few
strokes of simplicity, was that of modern war. By his right side lay
a sword, of which the tip was broken off; on the left side lay a
Bible. On glowing summer afternoons wagonettes came full of Americans
and cultured suburbans to see the sepulchre; but even then they felt
the vast forest land with its one dumpy dome of churchyard and church
as a place oddly dumb and neglected. In this freezing darkness of
mid-winter one would think he might be left alone with the stars.
Nevertheless, in the stillness of those stiff woods a wooden gate
creaked, and two dim figures dressed in black climbed up the little
path to the tomb.
So faint was that frigid starlight that
nothing could have been traced about them except that while they both
wore black, one man was enormously big, and the other (perhaps by
contrast) almost startlingly small. They went up to the great graven
tomb of the historic warrior, and stood for a few minutes staring at
it. There was no human, perhaps no living, thing for a wide circle;
and a morbid fancy might well have wondered if they were human
themselves. In any case, the beginning of their conversation might
have seemed strange. After the first silence the small man said to
the other:
“Where does a
wise man hide a pebble?”
And the tall man answered in a low
voice: “On the beach.”
The small man nodded, and after a short
silence said: “Where does a wise man hide a leaf?”
And the other answered: “In the
forest.”
There was another stillness, and then
the tall man resumed: “Do you mean that when a wise man has to
hide a real diamond he has been known to hide it among sham ones?”
“No, no,”
said the little man with a laugh, “we will let bygones be
bygones.”
He stamped his cold feet for a second or
two, and then said: “I’m not thinking of that at all, but
of something else; something rather peculiar. Just strike a match,
will you?”
The big man fumbled in his pocket, and
soon a scratch and a flare painted gold the whole flat side of the
monument. On it was cut in black letters the well-known words which
so many Americans had reverently read: “Sacred to the Memory of
General Sir Arthur St. Clare, Hero and Martyr, who Always Vanquished
his Enemies and Always Spared Them, and Was Treacherously Slain by
Them At Last. May God in Whom he Trusted both Reward and Revenge
him.”
The match burnt the big man’s
fingers, blackened, and dropped. He was about to strike another, but
his small companion stopped him. “That’s all right,
Flambeau, old man; I saw what I wanted. Or, rather, I didn’t
see what I didn’t want. And now we must walk a mile and a half
along the road to the next inn, and I will try to tell you all about
it. For Heaven knows a man should have a fire and ale when he dares
tell such a story.”
They descended the precipitous path,
they relatched the rusty gate, and set off at a stamping, ringing
walk down the frozen forest road. They had gone a full quarter of a
mile before the smaller man spoke again. He said: “Yes; the
wise man hides a pebble on the beach. But what does he do if there is
no beach? Do you know anything of that great St. Clare trouble?”
“I know nothing
about English generals, Father Brown,” answered the large man,
laughing, “though a little about English policemen. I only know
that you have dragged me a precious long dance to all the shrines of
this fellow, whoever he is. One would think he got buried in six
different places. I’ve seen a memorial to General St. Clare in
Westminster Abbey. I’ve seen a ramping equestrian statue of
General St. Clare on the Embankment. I’ve seen a medallion of
St. Clare in the street he was born in, and another in the street he
lived in; and now you drag me after dark to his coffin in the village
churchyard. I am beginning to be a bit tired of his magnificent
personality, especially as I don’t in the least know who he
was. What are you hunting for in all these crypts and effigies?”
“I am only
looking for one word,” said Father Brown. “A word that
isn’t there.”
“Well,”
asked Flambeau; “are you going to tell me anything about it?”
“I must divide
it into two parts,” remarked the priest. “First there is
what everybody knows; and then there is what I know. Now, what
everybody knows is short and plain enough. It is also entirely
wrong.”
“Right you
are,” said the big man called Flambeau cheerfully. “Let’s
begin at the wrong end. Let’s begin with what everybody knows,
which isn’t true.”
“If not wholly
untrue, it is at least very inadequate,” continued Brown; “for
in point of fact, all that the public knows amounts precisely to
this: The public knows that Arthur St. Clare was a great and
successful English general. It knows that after splendid yet careful
campaigns both in India and Africa he was in command against Brazil
when the great Brazilian patriot Olivier issued his ultimatum. It
knows that on that occasion St. Clare with a very small force
attacked Olivier with a very large one, and was captured after heroic
resistance. And it knows that after his capture, and to the
abhorrence of the civilised world, St. Clare was hanged on the
nearest tree. He was found swinging there after the Brazilians had
retired, with his broken sword hung round his neck.”
“And that
popular story is untrue?” suggested Flambeau.
“No,”
said his friend quietly, “that story is quite true, so far as
it goes.”
“Well, I think
it goes far enough!” said Flambeau; “but if the popular
story is true, what is the mystery?”
They had passed many hundreds of grey
and ghostly trees before the little priest answered. Then he bit his
finger reflectively and said: “Why, the mystery is a mystery of
psychology. Or, rather, it is a mystery of two psychologies. In that
Brazilian business two of the most famous men of modern history acted
flat against their characters. Mind you, Olivier and St. Clare were
both heroes—the old thing, and no mistake; it was like the
fight between Hector and Achilles. Now, what would you say to an
affair in which Achilles was timid and Hector was treacherous?”
“Go on,”
said the large man impatiently as the other bit his finger again.
“Sir Arthur St.
Clare was a soldier of the old religious type—the type that
saved us during the Mutiny,” continued Brown. “He was
always more for duty than for dash; and with all his personal courage
was decidedly a prudent commander, particularly indignant at any
needless waste of soldiers. Yet in this last battle he attempted
something that a baby could see was absurd. One need not be a
strategist to see it was as wild as wind; just as one need not be a
strategist to keep out of the way of a motor-bus. Well, that is the
first mystery; what had become of the English general’s head?
The second riddle is, what had become of the Brazilian general’s
heart? President Olivier might be called a visionary or a nuisance;
but even his enemies admitted that he was magnanimous to the point of
knight errantry. Almost every other prisoner he had ever captured had
been set free or even loaded with benefits. Men who had really
wronged him came away touched by his simplicity and sweetness. Why
the deuce should he diabolically revenge himself only once in his
life; and that for the one particular blow that could not have hurt
him? Well, there you have it. One of the wisest men in the world
acted like an idiot for no reason. One of the best men in the world
acted like a fiend for no reason. That’s the long and the short
of it; and I leave it to you, my boy.”
“No, you
don’t,” said the other with a snort. “I leave it to
you; and you jolly well tell me all about it.”
“Well,”
resumed Father Brown, “it’s not fair to say that the
public impression is just what I’ve said, without adding that
two things have happened since. I can’t say they threw a new
light; for nobody can make sense of them. But they threw a new kind
of darkness; they threw the darkness in new directions. The first was
this. The family physician of the St. Clares quarrelled with that
family, and began publishing a violent series of articles, in which
he said that the late general was a religious maniac; but as far as
the tale went, this seemed to mean little more than a religious man.
“Anyhow, the
story fizzled out. Everyone knew, of course, that St. Clare had some
of the eccentricities of puritan piety. The second incident was much
more arresting. In the luckless and unsupported regiment which made
that rash attempt at the Black River there was a certain Captain
Keith, who was at that time engaged to St. Clare’s daughter,
and who afterwards married her. He was one of those who were captured
by Olivier, and, like all the rest except the general, appears to
have been bounteously treated and promptly set free. Some twenty
years afterwards this man, then Lieutenant-Colonel Keith, published a
sort of autobiography called ‘A British Officer in Burmah and
Brazil.’ In the place where the reader looks eagerly for some
account of the mystery of St. Clare’s disaster may be found the
following words: ‘Everywhere else in this book I have narrated
things exactly as they occurred, holding as I do the old-fashioned
opinion that the glory of England is old enough to take care of
itself. The exception I shall make is in this matter of the defeat by
the Black River; and my reasons, though private, are honourable and
compelling. I will, however, add this in justice to the memories of
two distinguished men. General St. Clare has been accused of
incapacity on this occasion; I can at least testify that this action,
properly understood, was one of the most brilliant and sagacious of
his life. President Olivier by similar report is charged with savage
injustice. I think it due to the honour of an enemy to say that he
acted on this occasion with even more than his characteristic good
feeling. To put the matter popularly, I can assure my countrymen that
St. Clare was by no means such a fool nor Olivier such a brute as he
looked. This is all I have to say; nor shall any earthly
consideration induce me to add a word to it.’”
A large frozen moon like a lustrous
snowball began to show through the tangle of twigs in front of them,
and by its light the narrator had been able to refresh his memory of
Captain Keith’s text from a scrap of printed paper. As he
folded it up and put it back in his pocket Flambeau threw up his hand
with a French gesture.
“Wait a bit,
wait a bit,” he cried excitedly. “I believe I can guess
it at the first go.”
He strode on, breathing hard, his black
head and bull neck forward, like a man winning a walking race. The
little priest, amused and interested, had some trouble in trotting
beside him. Just before them the trees fell back a little to left and
right, and the road swept downwards across a clear, moonlit valley,
till it dived again like a rabbit into the wall of another wood. The
entrance to the farther forest looked small and round, like the black
hole of a remote railway tunnel. But it was within some hundred
yards, and gaped like a cavern before Flambeau spoke again.
“I’ve got
it,” he cried at last, slapping his thigh with his great hand.
“Four minutes’ thinking, and I can tell your whole story
myself.”
“All right,”
assented his friend. “You tell it.”
Flambeau lifted his head, but lowered
his voice. “General Sir Arthur St. Clare,” he said, “came
of a family in which madness was hereditary; and his whole aim was to
keep this from his daughter, and even, if possible, from his future
son-in-law. Rightly or wrongly, he thought the final collapse was
close, and resolved on suicide. Yet ordinary suicide would blazon the
very idea he dreaded. As the campaign approached the clouds came
thicker on his brain; and at last in a mad moment he sacrificed his
public duty to his private. He rushed rashly into battle, hoping to
fall by the first shot. When he found that he had only attained
capture and discredit, the sealed bomb in his brain burst, and he
broke his own sword and hanged himself.”
He stared firmly at the grey facade of
forest in front of him, with the one black gap in it, like the mouth
of the grave, into which their path plunged. Perhaps something
menacing in the road thus suddenly swallowed reinforced his vivid
vision of the tragedy, for he shuddered.
“A horrid
story,” he said.
“A horrid
story,” repeated the priest with bent head. “But not the
real story.”
Then he threw back his head with a sort
of despair and cried: “Oh, I wish it had been.”
The tall Flambeau faced round and stared
at him.
“Yours is a
clean story,” cried Father Brown, deeply moved. “A sweet,
pure, honest story, as open and white as that moon. Madness and
despair are innocent enough. There are worse things, Flambeau.”
Flambeau looked up wildly at the moon
thus invoked; and from where he stood one black tree-bough curved
across it exactly like a devil’s horn.
“Father—father,”
cried Flambeau with the French gesture and stepping yet more rapidly
forward, “do you mean it was worse than that?”
“Worse than
that,” said Paul like a grave echo. And they plunged into the
black cloister of the woodland, which ran by them in a dim tapestry
of trunks, like one of the dark corridors in a dream.
They were soon in the most secret
entrails of the wood, and felt close about them foliage that they
could not see, when the priest said again:
“Where does a
wise man hide a leaf? In the forest. But what does he do if there is
no forest?”
“Well, well,”
cried Flambeau irritably, “what does he do?”
“He grows a
forest to hide it in,” said the priest in an obscure voice. “A
fearful sin.”
“Look here,”
cried his friend impatiently, for the dark wood and the dark saying
got a little on his nerves; “will you tell me this story or
not? What other evidence is there to go on?”
“There are
three more bits of evidence,” said the other, “that I
have dug up in holes and corners; and I will give them in logical
rather than chronological order. First of all, of course, our
authority for the issue and event of the battle is in Olivier’s
own dispatches, which are lucid enough. He was entrenched with two or
three regiments on the heights that swept down to the Black River, on
the other side of which was lower and more marshy ground. Beyond this
again was gently rising country, on which was the first English
outpost, supported by others which lay, however, considerably in its
rear. The British forces as a whole were greatly superior in numbers;
but this particular regiment was just far enough from its base to
make Olivier consider the project of crossing the river to cut it
off. By sunset, however, he had decided to retain his own position,
which was a specially strong one. At daybreak next morning he was
thunderstruck to see that this stray handful of English, entirely
unsupported from their rear, had flung themselves across the river,
half by a bridge to the right, and the other half by a ford higher
up, and were massed upon the marshy bank below him.
“That they
should attempt an attack with such numbers against such a position
was incredible enough; but Olivier noticed something yet more
extraordinary. For instead of attempting to seize more solid ground,
this mad regiment, having put the river in its rear by one wild
charge, did nothing more, but stuck there in the mire like flies in
treacle. Needless to say, the Brazilians blew great gaps in them with
artillery, which they could only return with spirited but lessening
rifle fire. Yet they never broke; and Olivier’s curt account
ends with a strong tribute of admiration for the mystic valour of
these imbeciles. ‘Our line then advanced finally,’ writes
Olivier, ‘and drove them into the river; we captured General
St. Clare himself and several other officers. The colonel and the
major had both fallen in the battle. I cannot resist saying that few
finer sights can have been seen in history than the last stand of
this extraordinary regiment; wounded officers picking up the rifles
of dead soldiers, and the general himself facing us on horseback
bareheaded and with a broken sword.’ On what happened to the
general afterwards Olivier is as silent as Captain Keith.”
“Well,”
grunted Flambeau, “get on to the next bit of evidence.”
“The next
evidence,” said Father Brown, “took some time to find,
but it will not take long to tell. I found at last in an almshouse
down in the Lincolnshire Fens an old soldier who not only was wounded
at the Black River, but had actually knelt beside the colonel of the
regiment when he died. This latter was a certain Colonel Clancy, a
big bull of an Irishman; and it would seem that he died almost as
much of rage as of bullets. He, at any rate, was not responsible for
that ridiculous raid; it must have been imposed on him by the
general. His last edifying words, according to my informant, were
these: ‘And there goes the damned old donkey with the end of
his sword knocked off. I wish it was his head.’ You will remark
that everyone seems to have noticed this detail about the broken
sword blade, though most people regard it somewhat more reverently
than did the late Colonel Clancy. And now for the third fragment.”
Their path through the woodland began to
go upward, and the speaker paused a little for breath before he went
on. Then he continued in the same business-like tone:
“Only a month
or two ago a certain Brazilian official died in England, having
quarrelled with Olivier and left his country. He was a well-known
figure both here and on the Continent, a Spaniard named Espado; I
knew him myself, a yellow-faced old dandy, with a hooked nose. For
various private reasons I had permission to see the documents he had
left; he was a Catholic, of course, and I had been with him towards
the end. There was nothing of his that lit up any corner of the black
St. Clare business, except five or six common exercise books filled
with the diary of some English soldier. I can only suppose that it
was found by the Brazilians on one of those that fell. Anyhow, it
stopped abruptly the night before the battle.
“But the
account of that last day in the poor fellow’s life was
certainly worth reading. I have it on me; but it’s too dark to
read it here, and I will give you a resume. The first part of that
entry is full of jokes, evidently flung about among the men, about
somebody called the Vulture. It does not seem as if this person,
whoever he was, was one of themselves, nor even an Englishman;
neither is he exactly spoken of as one of the enemy. It sounds rather
as if he were some local go-between and non-combatant; perhaps a
guide or a journalist. He has been closeted with old Colonel Clancy;
but is more often seen talking to the major. Indeed, the major is
somewhat prominent in this soldier’s narrative; a lean,
dark-haired man, apparently, of the name of Murray—a north of
Ireland man and a Puritan. There are continual jests about the
contrast between this Ulsterman’s austerity and the
conviviality of Colonel Clancy. There is also some joke about the
Vulture wearing bright-coloured clothes.
“But all these
levities are scattered by what may well be called the note of a
bugle. Behind the English camp and almost parallel to the river ran
one of the few great roads of that district. Westward the road curved
round towards the river, which it crossed by the bridge before
mentioned. To the east the road swept backwards into the wilds, and
some two miles along it was the next English outpost. From this
direction there came along the road that evening a glitter and
clatter of light cavalry, in which even the simple diarist could
recognise with astonishment the general with his staff. He rode the
great white horse which you have seen so often in illustrated papers
and Academy pictures; and you may be sure that the salute they gave
him was not merely ceremonial. He, at least, wasted no time on
ceremony, but, springing from the saddle immediately, mixed with the
group of officers, and fell into emphatic though confidential speech.
What struck our friend the diarist most was his special disposition
to discuss matters with Major Murray; but, indeed, such a selection,
so long as it was not marked, was in no way unnatural. The two men
were made for sympathy; they were men who ‘read their Bibles’;
they were both the old Evangelical type of officer. However this may
be, it is certain that when the general mounted again he was still
talking earnestly to Murray; and that as he walked his horse slowly
down the road towards the river, the tall Ulsterman still walked by
his bridle rein in earnest debate. The soldiers watched the two until
they vanished behind a clump of trees where the road turned towards
the river. The colonel had gone back to his tent, and the men to
their pickets; the man with the diary lingered for another four
minutes, and saw a marvellous sight.
“The great
white horse which had marched slowly down the road, as it had marched
in so many processions, flew back, galloping up the road towards them
as if it were mad to win a race. At first they thought it had run
away with the man on its back; but they soon saw that the general, a
fine rider, was himself urging it to full speed. Horse and man swept
up to them like a whirlwind; and then, reining up the reeling
charger, the general turned on them a face like flame, and called for
the colonel like the trumpet that wakes the dead.
“I conceive
that all the earthquake events of that catastrophe tumbled on top of
each other rather like lumber in the minds of men such as our friend
with the diary. With the dazed excitement of a dream, they found
themselves falling—literally falling—into their ranks,
and learned that an attack was to be led at once across the river.
The general and the major, it was said, had found out something at
the bridge, and there was only just time to strike for life. The
major had gone back at once to call up the reserve along the road
behind; it was doubtful if even with that prompt appeal help could
reach them in time. But they must pass the stream that night, and
seize the heights by morning. It is with the very stir and throb of
that romantic nocturnal march that the diary suddenly ends.”
Father Brown had mounted ahead; for the
woodland path grew smaller, steeper, and more twisted, till they felt
as if they were ascending a winding staircase. The priest’s
voice came from above out of the darkness.
“There was one
other little and enormous thing. When the general urged them to their
chivalric charge he half drew his sword from the scabbard; and then,
as if ashamed of such melodrama, thrust it back again. The sword
again, you see.”
A half-light broke through the network
of boughs above them, flinging the ghost of a net about their feet;
for they were mounting again to the faint luminosity of the naked
night. Flambeau felt truth all round him as an atmosphere, but not as
an idea. He answered with bewildered brain: “Well, what’s
the matter with the sword? Officers generally have swords, don’t
they?”
“They are not
often mentioned in modern war,” said the other dispassionately;
“but in this affair one falls over the blessed sword
everywhere.”
“Well, what is
there in that?” growled Flambeau; “it was a twopence
coloured sort of incident; the old man’s blade breaking in his
last battle. Anyone might bet the papers would get hold of it, as
they have. On all these tombs and things it’s shown broken at
the point. I hope you haven’t dragged me through this Polar
expedition merely because two men with an eye for a picture saw St.
Clare’s broken sword.”
“No,”
cried Father Brown, with a sharp voice like a pistol shot; “but
who saw his unbroken sword?”
“What do you
mean?” cried the other, and stood still under the stars. They
had come abruptly out of the grey gates of the wood.
“I say, who saw
his unbroken sword?” repeated Father Brown obstinately. “Not
the writer of the diary, anyhow; the general sheathed it in time.”
Flambeau looked about him in the
moonlight, as a man struck blind might look in the sun; and his
friend went on, for the first time with eagerness:
“Flambeau,”
he cried, “I cannot prove it, even after hunting through the
tombs. But I am sure of it. Let me add just one more tiny fact that
tips the whole thing over. The colonel, by a strange chance, was one
of the first struck by a bullet. He was struck long before the troops
came to close quarters. But he saw St. Clare’s sword broken.
Why was it broken? How was it broken? My friend, it was broken before
the battle.”
“Oh!”
said his friend, with a sort of forlorn jocularity; “and pray
where is the other piece?”
“I can tell
you,” said the priest promptly. “In the northeast corner
of the cemetery of the Protestant Cathedral at Belfast.”
“Indeed?”
inquired the other. “Have you looked for it?”
“I couldn’t,”
replied Brown, with frank regret. “There’s a great marble
monument on top of it; a monument to the heroic Major Murray, who
fell fighting gloriously at the famous Battle of the Black River.”
Flambeau seemed suddenly galvanised into
existence. “You mean,” he cried hoarsely, “that
General St. Clare hated Murray, and murdered him on the field of
battle because—”
“You are still
full of good and pure thoughts,” said the other. “It was
worse than that.”
“Well,”
said the large man, “my stock of evil imagination is used up.”
The priest seemed really doubtful where
to begin, and at last he said again:
“Where would a
wise man hide a leaf? In the forest.”
The other did not answer.
“If there were
no forest, he would make a forest. And if he wished to hide a dead
leaf, he would make a dead forest.”
There was still no reply, and the priest
added still more mildly and quietly:
“And if a man
had to hide a dead body, he would make a field of dead bodies to hide
it in.”
Flambeau began to stamp forward with an
intolerance of delay in time or space; but Father Brown went on as if
he were continuing the last sentence:
“Sir Arthur St.
Clare, as I have already said, was a man who read his Bible. That was
what was the matter with him. When will people understand that it is
useless for a man to read his Bible unless he also reads everybody
else’s Bible? A printer reads a Bible for misprints. A Mormon
reads his Bible, and finds polygamy; a Christian Scientist reads his,
and finds we have no arms and legs. St. Clare was an old Anglo-Indian
Protestant soldier. Now, just think what that might mean; and, for
Heaven’s sake, don’t cant about it. It might mean a man
physically formidable living under a tropic sun in an Oriental
society, and soaking himself without sense or guidance in an Oriental
Book. Of course, he read the Old Testament rather than the New. Of
course, he found in the Old Testament anything that he wanted—lust,
tyranny, treason. Oh, I dare say he was honest, as you call it. But
what is the good of a man being honest in his worship of dishonesty?
“In each of the
hot and secret countries to which the man went he kept a harem, he
tortured witnesses, he amassed shameful gold; but certainly he would
have said with steady eyes that he did it to the glory of the Lord.
My own theology is sufficiently expressed by asking which Lord?
Anyhow, there is this about such evil, that it opens door after door
in hell, and always into smaller and smaller chambers. This is the
real case against crime, that a man does not become wilder and
wilder, but only meaner and meaner. St. Clare was soon suffocated by
difficulties of bribery and blackmail; and needed more and more cash.
And by the time of the Battle of the Black River he had fallen from
world to world to that place which Dante makes the lowest floor of
the universe.”
“What do you
mean?” asked his friend again.
“I mean that,”
retorted the cleric, and suddenly pointed at a puddle sealed with ice
that shone in the moon. “Do you remember whom Dante put in the
last circle of ice?”
“The traitors,”
said Flambeau, and shuddered. As he looked around at the inhuman
landscape of trees, with taunting and almost obscene outlines, he
could almost fancy he was Dante, and the priest with the rivulet of a
voice was, indeed, a Virgil leading him through a land of eternal
sins.
The voice went on: “Olivier, as
you know, was quixotic, and would not permit a secret service and
spies. The thing, however, was done, like many other things, behind
his back. It was managed by my old friend Espado; he was the
bright-clad fop, whose hook nose got him called the Vulture. Posing
as a sort of philanthropist at the front, he felt his way through the
English Army, and at last got his fingers on its one corrupt
man—please God!—and that man at the top. St. Clare was in
foul need of money, and mountains of it. The discredited family
doctor was threatening those extraordinary exposures that afterwards
began and were broken off; tales of monstrous and prehistoric things
in Park Lane; things done by an English Evangelist that smelt like
human sacrifice and hordes of slaves. Money was wanted, too, for his
daughter’s dowry; for to him the fame of wealth was as sweet as
wealth itself. He snapped the last thread, whispered the word to
Brazil, and wealth poured in from the enemies of England. But another
man had talked to Espado the Vulture as well as he. Somehow the dark,
grim young major from Ulster had guessed the hideous truth; and when
they walked slowly together down that road towards the bridge Murray
was telling the general that he must resign instantly, or be
court-martialled and shot. The general temporised with him till they
came to the fringe of tropic trees by the bridge; and there by the
singing river and the sunlit palms (for I can see the picture) the
general drew his sabre and plunged it through the body of the major.”
The wintry road curved over a ridge in
cutting frost, with cruel black shapes of bush and thicket; but
Flambeau fancied that he saw beyond it faintly the edge of an aureole
that was not starlight and moonlight, but some fire such as is made
by men. He watched it as the tale drew to its close.
“St. Clare was
a hell-hound, but he was a hound of breed. Never, I’ll swear,
was he so lucid and so strong as when poor Murray lay a cold lump at
his feet. Never in all his triumphs, as Captain Keith said truly, was
the great man so great as he was in this last world-despised defeat.
He looked coolly at his weapon to wipe off the blood; he saw the
point he had planted between his victim’s shoulders had broken
off in the body. He saw quite calmly, as through a club windowpane,
all that must follow. He saw that men must find the unaccountable
corpse; must extract the unaccountable sword-point; must notice the
unaccountable broken sword—or absence of sword. He had killed,
but not silenced. But his imperious intellect rose against the facer;
there was one way yet. He could make the corpse less unaccountable.
He could create a hill of corpses to cover this one. In twenty
minutes eight hundred English soldiers were marching down to their
death.”
The warmer glow behind the black winter
wood grew richer and brighter, and Flambeau strode on to reach it.
Father Brown also quickened his stride; but he seemed merely absorbed
in his tale.
“Such was the
valour of that English thousand, and such the genius of their
commander, that if they had at once attacked the hill, even their mad
march might have met some luck. But the evil mind that played with
them like pawns had other aims and reasons. They must remain in the
marshes by the bridge at least till British corpses should be a
common sight there. Then for the last grand scene; the silver-haired
soldier-saint would give up his shattered sword to save further
slaughter. Oh, it was well organised for an impromptu. But I think (I
cannot prove), I think that it was while they stuck there in the
bloody mire that someone doubted—and someone guessed.”
He was mute a moment, and then said:
“There is a voice from nowhere that tells me the man who
guessed was the lover . . . the man to wed the old man’s
child.”
“But what about
Olivier and the hanging?” asked Flambeau.
“Olivier,
partly from chivalry, partly from policy, seldom encumbered his march
with captives,” explained the narrator. “He released
everybody in most cases. He released everybody in this case.”
“Everybody but
the general,” said the tall man.
“Everybody,”
said the priest.
Flambeau knit his black brows. “I
don’t grasp it all yet,” he said.
“There is
another picture, Flambeau,” said Brown in his more mystical
undertone. “I can’t prove it; but I can do more—I
can see it. There is a camp breaking up on the bare, torrid hills at
morning, and Brazilian uniforms massed in blocks and columns to
march. There is the red shirt and long black beard of Olivier, which
blows as he stands, his broad-brimmed hat in his hand. He is saying
farewell to the great enemy he is setting free—the simple,
snow-headed English veteran, who thanks him in the name of his men.
The English remnant stand behind at attention; beside them are stores
and vehicles for the retreat. The drums roll; the Brazilians are
moving; the English are still like statues. So they abide till the
last hum and flash of the enemy have faded from the tropic horizon.
Then they alter their postures all at once, like dead men coming to
life; they turn their fifty faces upon the general—faces not to
be forgotten.”
Flambeau gave a great jump. “Ah,”
he cried, “you don’t mean—”
“Yes,”
said Father Brown in a deep, moving voice. “It was an English
hand that put the rope round St. Clare’s neck; I believe the
hand that put the ring on his daughter’s finger. They were
English hands that dragged him up to the tree of shame; the hands of
men that had adored him and followed him to victory. And they were
English souls (God pardon and endure us all!) who stared at him
swinging in that foreign sun on the green gallows of palm, and prayed
in their hatred that he might drop off it into hell.”
As the two topped the ridge there burst
on them the strong scarlet light of a red-curtained English inn. It
stood sideways in the road, as if standing aside in the amplitude of
hospitality. Its three doors stood open with invitation; and even
where they stood they could hear the hum and laughter of humanity
happy for a night.
“I need not
tell you more,” said Father Brown. “They tried him in the
wilderness and destroyed him; and then, for the honour of England and
of his daughter, they took an oath to seal up for ever the story of
the traitor’s purse and the assassin’s sword blade.
Perhaps—Heaven help them—they tried to forget it. Let us
try to forget it, anyhow; here is our inn.”
“With all my
heart,” said Flambeau, and was just striding into the bright,
noisy bar when he stepped back and almost fell on the road.
“Look there, in
the devil’s name!” he cried, and pointed rigidly at the
square wooden sign that overhung the road. It showed dimly the crude
shape of a sabre hilt and a shortened blade; and was inscribed in
false archaic lettering, “The Sign of the Broken Sword.”
“Were you not
prepared?” asked Father Brown gently. “He is the god of
this country; half the inns and parks and streets are named after him
and his story.”
“I thought we
had done with the leper,” cried Flambeau, and spat on the road.
“You will never
have done with him in England,” said the priest, looking down,
“while brass is strong and stone abides. His marble statues
will erect the souls of proud, innocent boys for centuries, his
village tomb will smell of loyalty as of lilies. Millions who never
knew him shall love him like a father—this man whom the last
few that knew him dealt with like dung. He shall be a saint; and the
truth shall never be told of him, because I have made up my mind at
last. There is so much good and evil in breaking secrets, that I put
my conduct to a test. All these newspapers will perish; the
anti-Brazil boom is already over; Olivier is already honoured
everywhere. But I told myself that if anywhere, by name, in metal or
marble that will endure like the pyramids, Colonel Clancy, or Captain
Keith, or President Olivier, or any innocent man was wrongly blamed,
then I would speak. If it were only that St. Clare was wrongly
praised, I would be silent. And I will.”
They plunged into the red-curtained
tavern, which was not only cosy, but even luxurious inside. On a
table stood a silver model of the tomb of St. Clare, the silver head
bowed, the silver sword broken. On the walls were coloured
photographs of the same scene, and of the system of wagonettes that
took tourists to see it. They sat down on the comfortable padded
benches.
“Come, it’s
cold,” cried Father Brown; “let’s have some wine or
beer.”
“Or brandy,”
said Flambeau.
The Three Tools of Death
Both by calling and conviction Father
Brown knew better than most of us, that every man is dignified when
he is dead. But even he felt a pang of incongruity when he was
knocked up at daybreak and told that Sir Aaron Armstrong had been
murdered. There was something absurd and unseemly about secret
violence in connection with so entirely entertaining and popular a
figure. For Sir Aaron Armstrong was entertaining to the point of
being comic; and popular in such a manner as to be almost legendary.
It was like hearing that Sunny Jim had hanged himself; or that Mr.
Pickwick had died in Hanwell. For though Sir Aaron was a
philanthropist, and thus dealt with the darker side of our society,
he prided himself on dealing with it in the brightest possible style.
His political and social speeches were cataracts of anecdotes and
“loud laughter”; his bodily health was of a bursting
sort; his ethics were all optimism; and he dealt with the Drink
problem (his favourite topic) with that immortal or even monotonous
gaiety which is so often a mark of the prosperous total abstainer.
The established story of his conversion
was familiar on the more puritanic platforms and pulpits, how he had
been, when only a boy, drawn away from Scotch theology to Scotch
whisky, and how he had risen out of both and become (as he modestly
put it) what he was. Yet his wide white beard, cherubic face, and
sparkling spectacles, at the numberless dinners and congresses where
they appeared, made it hard to believe, somehow, that he had ever
been anything so morbid as either a dram-drinker or a Calvinist. He
was, one felt, the most seriously merry of all the sons of men.
He had lived on the rural skirt of
Hampstead in a handsome house, high but not broad, a modern and
prosaic tower. The narrowest of its narrow sides overhung the steep
green bank of a railway, and was shaken by passing trains. Sir Aaron
Armstrong, as he boisterously explained, had no nerves. But if the
train had often given a shock to the house, that morning the tables
were turned, and it was the house that gave a shock to the train.
The engine slowed down and stopped just
beyond that point where an angle of the house impinged upon the sharp
slope of turf. The arrest of most mechanical things must be slow; but
the living cause of this had been very rapid. A man clad completely
in black, even (it was remembered) to the dreadful detail of black
gloves, appeared on the ridge above the engine, and waved his black
hands like some sable windmill. This in itself would hardly have
stopped even a lingering train. But there came out of him a cry which
was talked of afterwards as something utterly unnatural and new. It
was one of those shouts that are horridly distinct even when we
cannot hear what is shouted. The word in this case was “Murder!”
But the engine-driver swears he would
have pulled up just the same if he had heard only the dreadful and
definite accent and not the word.
The train once arrested, the most
superficial stare could take in many features of the tragedy. The man
in black on the green bank was Sir Aaron Armstrong’s
man-servant Magnus. The baronet in his optimism had often laughed at
the black gloves of this dismal attendant; but no one was likely to
laugh at him just now.
So soon as an inquirer or two had
stepped off the line and across the smoky hedge, they saw, rolled
down almost to the bottom of the bank, the body of an old man in a
yellow dressing-gown with a very vivid scarlet lining. A scrap of
rope seemed caught about his leg, entangled presumably in a struggle.
There was a smear or so of blood, though very little; but the body
was bent or broken into a posture impossible to any living thing. It
was Sir Aaron Armstrong. A few more bewildered moments brought out a
big fair-bearded man, whom some travellers could salute as the dead
man’s secretary, Patrick Royce, once well known in Bohemian
society and even famous in the Bohemian arts. In a manner more vague,
but even more convincing, he echoed the agony of the servant. By the
time the third figure of that household, Alice Armstrong, daughter of
the dead man, had come already tottering and waving into the garden,
the engine-driver had put a stop to his stoppage. The whistle had
blown and the train had panted on to get help from the next station.
Father Brown had been thus rapidly
summoned at the request of Patrick Royce, the big ex-Bohemian
secretary. Royce was an Irishman by birth; and that casual kind of
Catholic that never remembers his religion until he is really in a
hole. But Royce’s request might have been less promptly
complied with if one of the official detectives had not been a friend
and admirer of the unofficial Flambeau; and it was impossible to be a
friend of Flambeau without hearing numberless stories about Father
Brown. Hence, while the young detective (whose name was Merton) led
the little priest across the fields to the railway, their talk was
more confidential than could be expected between two total strangers.
“As far as I
can see,” said Mr. Merton candidly, “there is no sense to
be made of it at all. There is nobody one can suspect. Magnus is a
solemn old fool; far too much of a fool to be an assassin. Royce has
been the baronet’s best friend for years; and his daughter
undoubtedly adored him. Besides, it’s all too absurd. Who would
kill such a cheery old chap as Armstrong? Who could dip his hands in
the gore of an after-dinner speaker? It would be like killing Father
Christmas.”
“Yes, it was a
cheery house,” assented Father Brown. “It was a cheery
house while he was alive. Do you think it will be cheery now he is
dead?”
Merton started a little and regarded his
companion with an enlivened eye. “Now he is dead?” he
repeated.
“Yes,”
continued the priest stolidly, “he was cheerful. But did he
communicate his cheerfulness? Frankly, was anyone else in the house
cheerful but he?”
A window in Merton’s mind let in
that strange light of surprise in which we see for the first time
things we have known all along. He had often been to the Armstrongs,’
on little police jobs of the philanthropist; and, now he came to
think of it, it was in itself a depressing house. The rooms were very
high and very cold; the decoration mean and provincial; the draughty
corridors were lit by electricity that was bleaker than moonlight.
And though the old man’s scarlet face and silver beard had
blazed like a bonfire in each room or passage in turn, it did not
leave any warmth behind it. Doubtless this spectral discomfort in the
place was partly due to the very vitality and exuberance of its
owner; he needed no stoves or lamps, he would say, but carried his
own warmth with him. But when Merton recalled the other inmates, he
was compelled to confess that they also were as shadows of their
lord. The moody man-servant, with his monstrous black gloves, was
almost a nightmare; Royce, the secretary, was solid enough, a big
bull of a man, in tweeds, with a short beard; but the straw-coloured
beard was startlingly salted with grey like the tweeds, and the broad
forehead was barred with premature wrinkles. He was good-natured
enough also, but it was a sad sort of good-nature, almost a
heart-broken sort—he had the general air of being some sort of
failure in life. As for Armstrong’s daughter, it was almost
incredible that she was his daughter; she was so pallid in colour and
sensitive in outline. She was graceful, but there was a quiver in the
very shape of her that was like the lines of an aspen. Merton had
sometimes wondered if she had learnt to quail at the crash of the
passing trains.
“You see,”
said Father Brown, blinking modestly, “I’m not sure that
the Armstrong cheerfulness is so very cheerful—for other
people. You say that nobody could kill such a happy old man, but I’m
not sure; ne nos inducas in tentationem. If ever I murdered
somebody,” he added quite simply, “I dare say it might be
an Optimist.”
“Why?”
cried Merton amused. “Do you think people dislike
cheerfulness?”
“People like
frequent laughter,” answered Father Brown, “but I don’t
think they like a permanent smile. Cheerfulness without humour is a
very trying thing.”
They walked some way in silence along
the windy grassy bank by the rail, and just as they came under the
far-flung shadow of the tall Armstrong house, Father Brown said
suddenly, like a man throwing away a troublesome thought rather than
offering it seriously: “Of course, drink is neither good nor
bad in itself. But I can’t help sometimes feeling that men like
Armstrong want an occasional glass of wine to sadden them.”
Merton’s official superior, a
grizzled and capable detective named Gilder, was standing on the
green bank waiting for the coroner, talking to Patrick Royce, whose
big shoulders and bristly beard and hair towered above him. This was
the more noticeable because Royce walked always with a sort of
powerful stoop, and seemed to be going about his small clerical and
domestic duties in a heavy and humbled style, like a buffalo drawing
a go-cart.
He raised his head with unusual pleasure
at the sight of the priest, and took him a few paces apart. Meanwhile
Merton was addressing the older detective respectfully indeed, but
not without a certain boyish impatience.
“Well, Mr.
Gilder, have you got much farther with the mystery?”
“There is no
mystery,” replied Gilder, as he looked under dreamy eyelids at
the rooks.
“Well, there is
for me, at any rate,” said Merton, smiling.
“It is simple
enough, my boy,” observed the senior investigator, stroking his
grey, pointed beard. “Three minutes after you’d gone for
Mr. Royce’s parson the whole thing came out. You know that
pasty-faced servant in the black gloves who stopped the train?”
“I should know
him anywhere. Somehow he rather gave me the creeps.”
“Well,”
drawled Gilder, “when the train had gone on again, that man had
gone too. Rather a cool criminal, don’t you think, to escape by
the very train that went off for the police?”
“You’re
pretty sure, I suppose,” remarked the young man, “that he
really did kill his master?”
“Yes, my son,
I’m pretty sure,” replied Gilder drily, “for the
trifling reason that he has gone off with twenty thousand pounds in
papers that were in his master’s desk. No, the only thing worth
calling a difficulty is how he killed him. The skull seems broken as
with some big weapon, but there’s no weapon at all lying about,
and the murderer would have found it awkward to carry it away, unless
the weapon was too small to be noticed.”
“Perhaps the
weapon was too big to be noticed,” said the priest, with an odd
little giggle.
Gilder looked round at this wild remark,
and rather sternly asked Brown what he meant.
“Silly way of
putting it, I know,” said Father Brown apologetically. “Sounds
like a fairy tale. But poor Armstrong was killed with a giant’s
club, a great green club, too big to be seen, and which we call the
earth. He was broken against this green bank we are standing on.”
“How do you
mean?” asked the detective quickly.
Father Brown turned his moon face up to
the narrow facade of the house and blinked hopelessly up. Following
his eyes, they saw that right at the top of this otherwise blind back
quarter of the building, an attic window stood open.
“Don’t
you see,” he explained, pointing a little awkwardly like a
child, “he was thrown down from there?”
Gilder frowningly scrutinised the
window, and then said: “Well, it is certainly possible. But I
don’t see why you are so sure about it.”
Brown opened his grey eyes wide. “Why,”
he said, “there’s a bit of rope round the dead man’s
leg. Don’t you see that other bit of rope up there caught at
the corner of the window?”
At that height the thing looked like the
faintest particle of dust or hair, but the shrewd old investigator
was satisfied. “You’re quite right, sir,” he said
to Father Brown; “that is certainly one to you.”
Almost as he spoke a special train with
one carriage took the curve of the line on their left, and, stopping,
disgorged another group of policemen, in whose midst was the hangdog
visage of Magnus, the absconded servant.
“By Jove!
they’ve got him,” cried Gilder, and stepped forward with
quite a new alertness.
“Have you got
the money!” he cried to the first policeman.
The man looked him in the face with a
rather curious expression and said: “No.” Then he added:
“At least, not here.”
“Which is the
inspector, please?” asked the man called Magnus.
When he spoke everyone instantly
understood how this voice had stopped a train. He was a dull-looking
man with flat black hair, a colourless face, and a faint suggestion
of the East in the level slits in his eyes and mouth. His blood and
name, indeed, had remained dubious, ever since Sir Aaron had
“rescued” him from a waitership in a London restaurant,
and (as some said) from more infamous things. But his voice was as
vivid as his face was dead. Whether through exactitude in a foreign
language, or in deference to his master (who had been somewhat deaf),
Magnus’s tones had a peculiarly ringing and piercing quality,
and the whole group quite jumped when he spoke.
“I always knew
this would happen,” he said aloud with brazen blandness. “My
poor old master made game of me for wearing black; but I always said
I should be ready for his funeral.”
And he made a momentary movement with
his two dark-gloved hands.
“Sergeant,”
said Inspector Gilder, eyeing the black hands with wrath, “aren’t
you putting the bracelets on this fellow; he looks pretty dangerous.”
“Well, sir,”
said the sergeant, with the same odd look of wonder, “I don’t
know that we can.”
“What do you
mean?” asked the other sharply. “Haven’t you
arrested him?”
A faint scorn widened the slit-like
mouth, and the whistle of an approaching train seemed oddly to echo
the mockery.
“We arrested
him,” replied the sergeant gravely, “just as he was
coming out of the police station at Highgate, where he had deposited
all his master’s money in the care of Inspector Robinson.”
Gilder looked at the man-servant in
utter amazement. “Why on earth did you do that?” he asked
of Magnus.
“To keep it
safe from the criminal, of course,” replied that person
placidly.
“Surely,”
said Gilder, “Sir Aaron’s money might have been safely
left with Sir Aaron’s family.”
The tail of his sentence was drowned in
the roar of the train as it went rocking and clanking; but through
all the hell of noises to which that unhappy house was periodically
subject, they could hear the syllables of Magnus’s answer, in
all their bell-like distinctness: “I have no reason to feel
confidence in Sir Aaron’s family.”
All the motionless men had the ghostly
sensation of the presence of some new person; and Merton was scarcely
surprised when he looked up and saw the pale face of Armstrong’s
daughter over Father Brown’s shoulder. She was still young and
beautiful in a silvery style, but her hair was of so dusty and
hueless a brown that in some shadows it seemed to have turned totally
grey.
“Be careful
what you say,” said Royce gruffly, “you’ll frighten
Miss Armstrong.”
“I hope so,”
said the man with the clear voice.
As the woman winced and everyone else
wondered, he went on: “I am somewhat used to Miss Armstrong’s
tremors. I have seen her trembling off and on for years. And some
said she was shaking with cold and some she was shaking with fear,
but I know she was shaking with hate and wicked anger—fiends
that have had their feast this morning. She would have been away by
now with her lover and all the money but for me. Ever since my poor
old master prevented her from marrying that tipsy blackguard—”
“Stop,”
said Gilder very sternly. “We have nothing to do with your
family fancies or suspicions. Unless you have some practical
evidence, your mere opinions—”
“Oh! I’ll
give you practical evidence,” cut in Magnus, in his hacking
accent. “You’ll have to subpoena me, Mr. Inspector, and I
shall have to tell the truth. And the truth is this: An instant after
the old man was pitched bleeding out of the window, I ran into the
attic, and found his daughter swooning on the floor with a red dagger
still in her hand. Allow me to hand that also to the proper
authorities.” He took from his tail-pocket a long horn-hilted
knife with a red smear on it, and handed it politely to the sergeant.
Then he stood back again, and his slits of eyes almost faded from his
face in one fat Chinese sneer.
Merton felt an almost bodily sickness at
the sight of him; and he muttered to Gilder: “Surely you would
take Miss Armstrong’s word against his?”
Father Brown suddenly lifted a face so
absurdly fresh that it looked somehow as if he had just washed it.
“Yes,” he said, radiating innocence, “but is Miss
Armstrong’s word against his?”
The girl uttered a startled, singular
little cry; everyone looked at her. Her figure was rigid as if
paralysed; only her face within its frame of faint brown hair was
alive with an appalling surprise. She stood like one of a sudden
lassooed and throttled.
“This man,”
said Mr. Gilder gravely, “actually says that you were found
grasping a knife, insensible, after the murder.”
“He says the
truth,” answered Alice.
The next fact of which they were
conscious was that Patrick Royce strode with his great stooping head
into their ring and uttered the singular words: “Well, if I’ve
got to go, I’ll have a bit of pleasure first.”
His huge shoulder heaved and he sent an
iron fist smash into Magnus’s bland Mongolian visage, laying
him on the lawn as flat as a starfish. Two or three of the police
instantly put their hands on Royce; but to the rest it seemed as if
all reason had broken up and the universe were turning into a
brainless harlequinade.
“None of that,
Mr. Royce,” Gilder had called out authoritatively. “I
shall arrest you for assault.”
“No, you
won’t,” answered the secretary in a voice like an iron
gong, “you will arrest me for murder.”
Gilder threw an alarmed glance at the
man knocked down; but since that outraged person was already sitting
up and wiping a little blood off a substantially uninjured face, he
only said shortly: “What do you mean?”
“It is quite
true, as this fellow says,” explained Royce, “that Miss
Armstrong fainted with a knife in her hand. But she had not snatched
the knife to attack her father, but to defend him.”
“To defend
him,” repeated Gilder gravely. “Against whom?”
“Against me,”
answered the secretary.
Alice looked at him with a complex and
baffling face; then she said in a low voice: “After it all, I
am still glad you are brave.”
“Come
upstairs,” said Patrick Royce heavily, “and I will show
you the whole cursed thing.”
The attic, which was the secretary’s
private place (and rather a small cell for so large a hermit), had
indeed all the vestiges of a violent drama. Near the centre of the
floor lay a large revolver as if flung away; nearer to the left was
rolled a whisky bottle, open but not quite empty. The cloth of the
little table lay dragged and trampled, and a length of cord, like
that found on the corpse, was cast wildly across the windowsill. Two
vases were smashed on the mantelpiece and one on the carpet.
“I was drunk,”
said Royce; and this simplicity in the prematurely battered man
somehow had the pathos of the first sin of a baby.
“You all know
about me,” he continued huskily; “everybody knows how my
story began, and it may as well end like that too. I was called a
clever man once, and might have been a happy one; Armstrong saved the
remains of a brain and body from the taverns, and was always kind to
me in his own way, poor fellow! Only he wouldn’t let me marry
Alice here; and it will always be said that he was right enough.
Well, you can form your own conclusions, and you won’t want me
to go into details. That is my whisky bottle half emptied in the
corner; that is my revolver quite emptied on the carpet. It was the
rope from my box that was found on the corpse, and it was from my
window the corpse was thrown. You need not set detectives to grub up
my tragedy; it is a common enough weed in this world. I give myself
to the gallows; and, by God, that is enough!”
At a sufficiently delicate sign, the
police gathered round the large man to lead him away; but their
unobtrusiveness was somewhat staggered by the remarkable appearance
of Father Brown, who was on his hands and knees on the carpet in the
doorway, as if engaged in some kind of undignified prayers. Being a
person utterly insensible to the social figure he cut, he remained in
this posture, but turned a bright round face up at the company,
presenting the appearance of a quadruped with a very comic human
head.
“I say,”
he said good-naturedly, “this really won’t do at all, you
know. At the beginning you said we’d found no weapon. But now
we’re finding too many; there’s the knife to stab, and
the rope to strangle, and the pistol to shoot; and after all he broke
his neck by falling out of a window! It won’t do. It’s
not economical.” And he shook his head at the ground as a horse
does grazing.
Inspector Gilder had opened his mouth
with serious intentions, but before he could speak the grotesque
figure on the floor had gone on quite volubly.
“And now three
quite impossible things. First, these holes in the carpet, where the
six bullets have gone in. Why on earth should anybody fire at the
carpet? A drunken man lets fly at his enemy’s head, the thing
that’s grinning at him. He doesn’t pick a quarrel with
his feet, or lay siege to his slippers. And then there’s the
rope”—and having done with the carpet the speaker lifted
his hands and put them in his pocket, but continued unaffectedly on
his knees—“in what conceivable intoxication would anybody
try to put a rope round a man’s neck and finally put it round
his leg? Royce, anyhow, was not so drunk as that, or he would be
sleeping like a log by now. And, plainest of all, the whisky bottle.
You suggest a dipsomaniac fought for the whisky bottle, and then
having won, rolled it away in a corner, spilling one half and leaving
the other. That is the very last thing a dipsomaniac would do.”
He scrambled awkwardly to his feet, and
said to the self-accused murderer in tones of limpid penitence: “I’m
awfully sorry, my dear sir, but your tale is really rubbish.”
“Sir,”
said Alice Armstrong in a low tone to the priest, “can I speak
to you alone for a moment?”
This request forced the communicative
cleric out of the gangway, and before he could speak in the next
room, the girl was talking with strange incisiveness.
“You are a
clever man,” she said, “and you are trying to save
Patrick, I know. But it’s no use. The core of all this is
black, and the more things you find out the more there will be
against the miserable man I love.”
“Why?”
asked Brown, looking at her steadily.
“Because,”
she answered equally steadily, “I saw him commit the crime
myself.”
“Ah!”
said the unmoved Brown, “and what did he do?”
“I was in this
room next to them,” she explained; “both doors were
closed, but I suddenly heard a voice, such as I had never heard on
earth, roaring ‘Hell, hell, hell,’ again and again, and
then the two doors shook with the first explosion of the revolver.
Thrice again the thing banged before I got the two doors open and
found the room full of smoke; but the pistol was smoking in my poor,
mad Patrick’s hand; and I saw him fire the last murderous
volley with my own eyes. Then he leapt on my father, who was clinging
in terror to the window-sill, and, grappling, tried to strangle him
with the rope, which he threw over his head, but which slipped over
his struggling shoulders to his feet. Then it tightened round one leg
and Patrick dragged him along like a maniac. I snatched a knife from
the mat, and, rushing between them, managed to cut the rope before I
fainted.”
“I see,”
said Father Brown, with the same wooden civility. “Thank you.”
As the girl collapsed under her
memories, the priest passed stiffly into the next room, where he
found Gilder and Merton alone with Patrick Royce, who sat in a chair,
handcuffed. There he said to the Inspector submissively:
“Might I say a
word to the prisoner in your presence; and might he take off those
funny cuffs for a minute?”
“He is a very
powerful man,” said Merton in an undertone. “Why do you
want them taken off?”
“Why, I
thought,” replied the priest humbly, “that perhaps I
might have the very great honour of shaking hands with him.”
Both detectives stared, and Father Brown
added: “Won’t you tell them about it, sir?”
The man on the chair shook his tousled
head, and the priest turned impatiently.
“Then I will,”
he said. “Private lives are more important than public
reputations. I am going to save the living, and let the dead bury
their dead.”
He went to the fatal window, and blinked
out of it as he went on talking.
“I told you
that in this case there were too many weapons and only one death. I
tell you now that they were not weapons, and were not used to cause
death. All those grisly tools, the noose, the bloody knife, the
exploding pistol, were instruments of a curious mercy. They were not
used to kill Sir Aaron, but to save him.”
“To save him!”
repeated Gilder. “And from what?”
“From himself,”
said Father Brown. “He was a suicidal maniac.”
“What?”
cried Merton in an incredulous tone. “And the Religion of
Cheerfulness—”
“It is a cruel
religion,” said the priest, looking out of the window. “Why
couldn’t they let him weep a little, like his fathers before
him? His plans stiffened, his views grew cold; behind that merry mask
was the empty mind of the atheist. At last, to keep up his hilarious
public level, he fell back on that dram-drinking he had abandoned
long ago. But there is this horror about alcoholism in a sincere
teetotaler: that he pictures and expects that psychological inferno
from which he has warned others. It leapt upon poor Armstrong
prematurely, and by this morning he was in such a case that he sat
here and cried he was in hell, in so crazy a voice that his daughter
did not know it. He was mad for death, and with the monkey tricks of
the mad he had scattered round him death in many shapes—a
running noose and his friend’s revolver and a knife. Royce
entered accidentally and acted in a flash. He flung the knife on the
mat behind him, snatched up the revolver, and having no time to
unload it, emptied it shot after shot all over the floor. The suicide
saw a fourth shape of death, and made a dash for the window. The
rescuer did the only thing he could—ran after him with the rope
and tried to tie him hand and foot. Then it was that the unlucky girl
ran in, and misunderstanding the struggle, strove to slash her father
free. At first she only slashed poor Royce’s knuckles, from
which has come all the little blood in this affair. But, of course,
you noticed that he left blood, but no wound, on that servant’s
face? Only before the poor woman swooned, she did hack her father
loose, so that he went crashing through that window into eternity.”
There was a long stillness slowly broken
by the metallic noises of Gilder unlocking the handcuffs of Patrick
Royce, to whom he said: “I think I should have told the truth,
sir. You and the young lady are worth more than Armstrong’s
obituary notices.”
“Confound
Armstrong’s notices,” cried Royce roughly. “Don’t
you see it was because she mustn’t know?”
“Mustn’t
know what?” asked Merton.
“Why, that she
killed her father, you fool!” roared the other. “He’d
have been alive now but for her. It might craze her to know that.”
“No, I don’t
think it would,” remarked Father Brown, as he picked up his
hat. “I rather think I should tell her. Even the most murderous
blunders don’t poison life like sins; anyhow, I think you may
both be the happier now. I’ve got to go back to the Deaf
School.”
As he went out on to the gusty grass an
acquaintance from Highgate stopped him and said:
“The Coroner
has arrived. The inquiry is just going to begin.”
“I’ve got
to get back to the Deaf School,” said Father Brown. “I’m
sorry I can’t stop for the inquiry.”
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
PUBLISHER II
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