A Smile or Two

News From The Domestic Church

News From The Domestic Church

A Smile Or Two

Disappointment

“Congratulations Mr. Smith,” said the psychiatrist. “I think we have finally and completely cured you of your delusion.”

“Thanks…I guess.” Answered Mr. Smith glumly.

“But what’s wrong?” asked the psychiatrist. “Why do you sound so depressed?”

“Wouldn’t you be down if one day you’re Pope and the next you’re a nobody?”

submitted by: Jackie Galloway

One Way

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

Therefore, he talked with the organist to see what kind of inspirational music she could play after the announcement about the finances to get the congregation in a giving mood.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll think of something.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

Just at that moment, the organist started playing, “The Star Spangled Banner.”

submitted by: Jackie Galloway

Seeking a Publishing Contract

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.

Moses calls a staff meeting.

Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.

The General of the Armies: Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time – the Egyptians are too close.

The Admiral of the Navy: Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.

Moses: Does anyone have a solution?

Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand.

Moses: You! You have a solution?

The PR Man: No, but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three pages in the Old Testament.

submitted by: Jackie Galloway

Postage

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What denomination?” Asked the clerk.

“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman.

“Well, give me 50 Protestant and 50 Catholic ones.”

submitted by: Jackie Galloway